Tales from a Not-So-Glam TV Star

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19

 

 

Unfortunately, the auditions we held today didn’t go any better than the ones on Monday.

 

Even though we were looking for singers, we auditioned a comedian, a tuba player, two tap dancers, and a talking dog. Don’t ASK!!

 

Suddenly my cell phone rang. I picked it up and cringed when I saw the caller’s name.

 

“Oh no! It’s Trevor Chase!” I groaned. “He probably wants to know how many new backup singers we’ve found from the people who came in for auditions!”

 

I took a deep breath and then clicked on the speakerphone.

 

“Hi, Mr. Chase! What a pleasant surprise to hear from you!” I said all perkylike.

 

“Do you have a second to talk?” he asked. “I won’t keep you long. I know you’re busy.”

 

The room was as empty as a ghost town. I half expected to see a tumbleweed roll by! “Sure,” I said. “I can spare a minute.”

 

“Good. I have great news,” Trevor said. “I’ve found the perfect dance choreographer! She’s young, she’s talented, she’s hip, and she’s assured me that she can have everyone whipped into shape and dancing like pros in no time at all!”

 

“That’s awesome!” Chloe cheered.

 

“It sounds like she really knows her stuff!” Zoey gushed. “I’m totally on board with hiring her!”

 

“Me too,” I agreed. “We’re really excited to meet her!”

 

“Perfect! Because she’s really excited about working with you,” he said.

 

“OMG! What’s that horrid smell?” MacKenzie shrieked as she entered the room. “They put you in the gerbil-pee room?! Disgusting!”

 

That’s when she whipped out her expensive designer perfume. . . .

 

 

 

MACKENZIE, SPRAYING THE GERBIL CAGE WITH DESIGNER PERFUME

 

Suddenly the stench in the room got even WORSE!

 

Thanks to MacKenzie, it now reeked of gerbil pee mixed with freshly picked roses. And just a hint of berries.

 

I shot her a dirty look.

 

“SHHHHH!!!!!” Chloe waved her hand at MacKenzie like she was shooing away an obnoxious fly.

 

“What are you doing here, MacKenzie?” I hissed, covering the phone with my hand.

 

“Checking out your little audition thingy,” she answered. “That’s strange . . . I don’t see anyone in line! Did I get here early, or is no one interested in joining your amateur, tone-deaf band?”

 

I honestly think MacKenzie has a homing device in her brain to find me when I’m miserable and make me feel ten times worse!

 

“If Trevor had chosen MY group for the record deal, the audition line would be a mile long!” She sneered.

 

“But he DIDN’T choose your band, did he?” Zoey shot back. “So cry yourself a river, build yourself a bridge, and get over it!”

 

“Actually, MacKenzie, we’re really busy right now,” I explained. “Mr. Chase has found us a choreographer who probably works with all of the biggest pop stars! Everything’s going great for us, thank you. So please butt out of our business and go do something more constructive, like choke on a Tater Tot in the cafeteria!”

 

That’s when MacKenzie’s cell phone rang. Thank goodness! Now she could go blabber mindlessly to some other unlucky person. OMG! I had totally forgotten I still had Trevor Chase waiting on the phone.

 

“I’m so sorry about that interruption, sir!” I apologized. “Now, what were you saying?”

 

“We were talking about the choreographer. I’d like all of us to have a conference call,” he said. “She has tons of ideas for you! Hang on, okay? I have her on hold!” After a couple of seconds I heard a few clicks.

 

“Hi, Mr. Chase!” the choreographer chirped.

 

“Hey! How’s it going?” he replied. “Nikki Maxwell’s on the line with us. Nikki, are you there? Can you hear us okay?”

 

“Yeah . . . but I’m picking up a weird echo,” I answered.

 

“Really? How odd!” the choreographer said.

 

“There goes that echo again!” I frowned. “I don’t know if my phone signal is bad or . . .”

 

That’s when I noticed that Chloe and Zoey looked like they’d just seen a ghost or something! They nudged me and then nodded to my right.

 

“What’s wrong, guys?” I asked, totally confused.

 

Then I finally SAW something VERY wrong . . . MACKENZIE !!

 

She gave us a big phony smile, waved, and then said really sweetly . . .

 

 

 

US, IN SHOCK AT THE NEWS THAT MACKENZIE IS OUR NEW CHOREOGRAPHER

 

That’s when I vomited a little in my mouth.

 

“So we’re all in agreement, then. MacKenzie Hollister is your new choreographer,” Trevor announced happily. “A teen choreographing a teen band!! I LOVE it!”

 

But I just kept my mouth shut so I wouldn’t burst into an angry rant.

 

“Actually, Mr. C, we’re classmates and locker neighbors!” MacKenzie giggled. “What a crazy coincidence! This is going to be SO much FUN!”

 

But Chloe, Zoey, and I could see her beady little eyes and that evil smirk on her face.

 

With MacKenzie on our team, this whole project is a train wreck just waiting to happen!

 

But the craziest part was THIS. . . .

 

MacKenzie announced that as our official choreographer hired by Trevor Chase, she would be giving us homework assignments that would make us stronger and better dancers.

 

MY first assignment was to watch a series of videos she’d made and posted on YouTube called The Fundamentals of Dance.

 

She said I was going to be practicing some of those same dance steps with her tomorrow after I finished working with my voice coach.

 

That’s when I totally lost it and screamed, “MacKenzie, are you NUTS?! My schedule is already like a full-time job. If I get any busier, I’m going to have to drop out of middle school!!”

 

But I just said that inside my head so no one else heard it but me.

 

JUST GREAT! Now I can add watching MacKenzie’s dance videos to my “Dumb Stuff I Gotta Do Tonight!” list.

 

Do all aspiring pop stars have to work with a calculating, maniacal . . . SOCIOPATH?!!!

 

!!

 

 

 

 

 

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