Brad and I sat out on the deck for an hour talking about school, plans for the summer, and what colleges we hoped to get in. We also did a fair amount of shameless flirting. Brad did most of it, of course. After all, he was quite skilled at it. I still wasn’t completely comfortable around him, but I was getting there. His aggressiveness mixed with his sweetness kept me off balance. He was definitely a charmer and I was having a good time with him.
We had been at the party for a while and it was time for me to find a bathroom. “Would you excuse me for a minute? I need to find the bathroom,” I said shyly.
“Sure, but don’t be gone too long. I still need your healing hands on me where it hurts. By the way, a few other places have popped up that need your special touch.” He shot me a devilish grin and waggled his eyebrows.
Smiling at him, I said, “You’re very pleased with yourself, aren’t you?”
He thought for a moment and replied, “Hmmm…I believe I am and I know you will be too.”
“Can you point me in the direction of a bathroom?”
He chuckled and then answered, “There’s one downstairs and two upstairs.”
“Thanks. I’ll be right back.”
I walked through the double French doors that led from the deck into the huge living room. The crowd hadn’t thinned out much, but it was a little quieter. I looked around for Noah. I felt it was best if I kept my distance from him right now. I hadn’t seen him since the fight. I still couldn’t get the look he gave me out of my head. I asked a couple of people if they had seen him. They both said he left right after the fight broke up. I was glad. Leaving was the best thing. He needed to go calm down. I could take care of myself.
I saw Jeremy on the makeshift dance floor grinding into, of all people, Beth. She must have gotten here while I was outside with Brad.
She and I still hadn’t spoken and by the look in her eyes, we weren’t going to any time soon. “So are you here to take Jeremy away from me too, Amanda?”
“No. And I didn’t take anything or anyone away from you, Beth.”
“Bullshit!”
“Ladies, don’t fight. There’s enough of me to go around,” Jeremy slurred.
“Can you just tell me where the bathroom is down here?”
“Don’t use the one downstairs. There’s a line of people waiting. Go use one of the ones upstairs,” Jeremy said.
I turned on my heels and headed to the stairs as the two got back to grinding each other into oblivion. It wasn’t until I got to the top of the stairs, that I realized I hadn’t asked him where the bathroom was up here. I figured I would just start opening doors. I mean, there were only so many rooms up here. How hard could it be to find a bathroom?
The first door I opened was a closet. The next door I opened was a home office. Maybe finding the bathroom would be harder than I thought. Luckily, I spotted someone coming out of a door at the end of the hall. Bingo! The bathroom. I started to head that way when I heard a noise coming from behind the door I was in front of. It sounded like a thud, as if someone was being pushed up against it. Then I heard a female voice moan, “Oh baby. Yes. F*ck me hard.”
I stood there unable to make my legs move. I knew I should get the hell away from that door, but it was like I couldn’t help myself. After a couple of more thuds and moans, the female whined, “Kiss my lips. Why won’t you kiss me on the lips? I want you to.” An angry muffled male’s voice grunted at her. Gasping for air the female said, “I can’t talk now, either? Fine, then finish f*cking me.” A few more moans escaped and then it was silent.
When it dawned on me that the noises had stopped, I moved as quickly as possible to the bathroom, hoping no one was in there. Thankfully it was empty. I did what I needed to do, washed my hands, and did a quick check of my makeup in the mirror. I knew I was stalling. I wanted enough time to pass, so there wouldn’t be any chance of running into The Thuds. It was unbelievable to me that people would have sex in someone else’s house during a huge party. I wasn’t a prude, but it seemed sleazy. There were people all over downstairs and upstairs, anyone could have heard them.
I cracked the bathroom door open enough to make sure the coast was clear. It was. I took three steps down the hall and then I heard it. The door to the sex room was creaking open. I froze. I should have run when I first heard the door. I knew it was stupid to stand there, but frankly I was a little curious to see who The Thuds were. The door slowly cracked open. Whoever it was, they wanted to make sure no one saw them coming out of that room. The guy stepped out first.
Amanda Marie Kelly, why didn’t you run before that damn door opened?
Noah had his head down as he stepped through the door into the hall. I guess he sensed someone standing there because he immediately looked up in my direction. The blood drained completely from his face. I was numb from head to toe. All my systems were shutting down. The ability to think, speak and move had all left me. When I thought this situation couldn’t get any worse, she walked out behind him and peered over his shoulder at me.
“Well, hello Amanda. What are you doing here?” Brittani said with the most self-satisfied smug look across her face. What I wouldn’t give to punch that look right off her face.
I remained silent. How could I have been at the party this long and not have seen her until now? She was pretty easy to spot, at least her big ass was. Her arms crept around Noah’s waist. He quickly stepped away from her. She looked pissed, but recovered quickly.
Sounding syrupy sweet, she said to Noah, “Baby that was amazing, as usual. No one f*cks me like you. The way you suck my…”
“Shut up, Brittani,” Noah said, cutting her off. Anger laced his voice while sadness overtook his eyes as they stayed fixated on me. She raised her hand to run her fingers through his hair, but he shrugged away from her.
Placing her hands on her hips, she huffed, and said in a whiney tone, “What’s wrong?”
With his jaw clenched, Noah spat out, “Get out of here.”
She looked over at me with her signature Cheshire cat smile plastered across her face. God, I hated that damn smile and face.
She purred at him, “I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready for round two, baby.” Giving me one last shit eating grin, she headed downstairs.
Noah and I never broke eye contact the entire time we were standing in the hall. Suddenly, the feeling started to come back into my body. I felt like I was going to throw up. I turned and ran back to the bathroom. I hovered over the toilet for a few seconds before emptying the contents of my stomach into it. The last time I had eaten was nine hours ago, so there wasn’t much to bring up. The dry heaves made my entire body convulse. My head was pounding and the ache in my chest was so intense, it felt as if my heart just shattered.
After I was sure all I had in me was gone, I sat on the floor, leaning back against the bathtub. The sobs started coming at a rapid pace. I had no control over myself. There was a soft knock on the door. I stayed quiet. There was another soft knock. Then I heard Noah ask, “Tweet, are you alright? Can I come in, please?”
Was he kidding me? I had gone from hurt, to devastated, to angry, to enraged in less than three minutes.
Trying to control my sobs I screamed at the door, “NO AND NO!”
The door behind me slowly opened. Trying to get to the bathroom as fast as I could, I forgot to lock it. I could not believe he was actually coming in here. I screamed, “STAY THE F*ck AWAY FROM ME, NOAH!”
I scrambled to my feet as the door swung wide open. I caught my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell. My eyes were blood red, my face was blotchy, and streaked with tears. Noah stepped in, closing the door behind him.
“I know you don’t want to hear this right now.” His voice sounded so small and strained. “I am so, so, so sorry.”
“For what? I’m not anything to you,” I said in as flat a voice as I could.
“It doesn’t mean anything. She’s just a f*ck.”
“Wow! What a romantic you are.”
He rubbed his hands up and down his face. “I was so angry with you for choosing him.”
“You’re not going to blame me for what you just did with her. How could you with her?” I stormed toward the door, but he grabbed my arm.
“I don’t know. When I saw you kneeling by that Smurff*cker helping him… It pissed me off.”
“So you f*cked Brittani to get back at me?”
“No! I wasn’t trying to get back at you. I just wanted to be numb.” Tears continued to fall down my face as we looked at one another.
I shrugged out of his grip, took a step back, and said, “Why with her? You didn’t see the look on her face when she came out of that room after the two of you…and saw me standing there. She looked so goddamn smug. Like she knew she had something that I never would.” Sobs were pouring out of me.
“You do have me. Every part of me. You always have. You just don’t want me.” His words slapped me in the face. He had to know that wasn’t the case. I explained all of this to him. I was beginning to suffocate. I had to get out of there. I shoved Noah as hard as I could. This time he let me move him out of my way. Once I hit the hall, I took off running. I ran down the stairs, through the living room, across the deck, passing Brad who was still waiting for me. I had no clue how long I had been gone. It could have been minutes or hours. Once I got to the bottom of the deck steps, I kicked off my flip flops, and ran full speed down the beach. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I had to get away.