Chapter 15
~ Hayley ~
Once I’ve put Ari to bed, I crawl under my thick, plush duvet and rub my arms to create some warmth. Noah and Hannah dropped Ari and me off a few hours ago, after Cameron rushed to the hospital with his mother. He sent me a text earlier, letting me know that Candice was having a difficult delivery and that he’d let me know as soon as the baby was born. I knew these things could take long, especially when it was a natural birth, so I didn’t expect to hear anything for a while. My thoughts start drifting over the events of earlier today, to when I met his mother and his sister and how they welcomed me with open arms. I could see myself getting attached to them, bonding with them, and the idea frightened me to some extent. They were also very excited to meet Ari, and knowing that Cameron had obviously told them about her left a warm, fuzzy feeling budding in the confines of my chest. Although meeting Cameron’s family had certainly been important, it didn’t quite live up to the stature of the moment when Ari silently asked if she could sit on Cameron’s lap and the way he willingly received her. I had to bite the inside of my cheek fairly hard before I started blubbering like an idiot. It was such a simple thing to have witnessed, but for me, the gravity of it weighed heavy on my heart. The reality is that if things were to end, it wouldn’t only be my heart that would need mending. It would be Ari’s heart too. The more time I spent with Cameron, the more attached I become, and the more attached Ari becomes, too. At the root of all my fears, lies this inevitable truth. Any relationship I have, I not only put my heart and feelings on the line, but my daughter’s too.
I roll onto back, chastising myself. You are overanalyzing, Hayley, I tell myself sternly. I am already worried about what will happen when Cameron leaves me when we’ve only been together for a few days. But he doesn’t know everything, I remind myself. Guilt buries itself in my subconscious and starts to grow, slow like a weed yet invasive like a parasite. There are things about my past that Cameron doesn’t know, that he can’t know, and the closer we become, the more intimate we become, the harder it is for me to keep it from him. But keeping it from him isn’t about him, not really. It’s about Arianna, and protecting her from my past.
I doze off for what feels like an hour when my phone vibrates next to my bed. My bedside clock reads two a.m. and I wonder who would be texting me so late, or early, depending on which way you look at it. I can’t help the sleepy grin that slides onto my face when I see its Cameron.
I’m outside.
I throw my duvet off, not bothering about my robe, and race downstairs, careful not to wake my grandmother or Ari. I open the front door, regretting my decision to go sans my robe as soon as the cool breeze hits my exposed legs and arms. Cameron comes in quickly and I shut the door again.
“What are you doing here?” I ask in a hushed voice.
He smirks and I catch a glimpse of his face in the moonlight. It bounces off his face brilliantly and casts an alluring shadow across his shape features. Taking a step closer, he touches a hand to my cheek and I shiver, both from the contact and his cold skin.
“I wanted to see you,” he whispers, leaning his head closer.
“C’mon,” I say, grabbing his hand before he can kiss me. “It’s cold down here and I’m sure you’re freezing.”
We walk up the stairs, a little slower as to keep Cameron’s feet from making a noise, and I lead him to my room. I close the door behind us quietly and turn to Cameron as he starts shedding his clothes. I wrap my arms around him from behind, getting lost in his scent. “How’s Candice?” I ask.
Cameron twists in my arms and I look up into the gray pools of his eyes. “She’s doing great.” He kisses the side of my mouth and I suck in a breath.
“And the baby?”
He gives me a heart-shattering smile. “She’s perfect.” His eyes gleam, showing me the love and adoration he has for his family and its newest little member. “She has these big, blue eyes, and these perfect little lips, and hair like Candice’s.”
I can’t help but return his smile. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
“I’ll take you to the hospital tomorrow.” Cameron kisses me, signaling that our conversation is over and I don’t complain. I help him undress until he’s wearing nothing but his boxer briefs, and we climb into bed. What starts off as light pecks on the mouth soon becomes heated, hungry and almost desperate. Cameron rolls until I’m beneath him and settles between my legs. He rests his weight on his forearms on each side of my head and threads his fingers through my hair while I trace invisible patterns up and down his back. He pushes his hips into me and I feel his erection on my inner thigh, hot and hard. I moan into his mouth, savoring the taste of him, the feel of him. I want him, there’s no doubt he can feel my wetness through the thin material of my pajama bottoms, but knowing my grandmother and daughter are on either sides of my bedroom somehow makes this feel a little less appealing. Cameron’s hips roll a third time and I bite his lip to silence my whimper. The things he is doing to my body right now doesn’t need to be made audible for the whole house to hear. I pull away, panting and wanting. “Cameron,” I breathe. “We have to stop.”
He lifts his head, peering down at me with lust-filled eyes that I’m sure match mine. “You’re worried about being heard?”
I nod, wondering how he was able to voice my internal concern when I didn’t say anything. “I’m not comfortable with Gama and Ari being so close. It’s a little weird. Please, don’t be mad.”
He frowns and it quickly becomes a smirk. “Why would I be mad? I can’t help that I’m good at making you scream.”
I slap his back gently and he shrugs, chuckling. “What? It’s true.”
“But I understand,” he adds, leaning down and trailing his lips down my neck. “You’ll just have to make it up to me another time.”
“I think we can arrange that.” I give him one last kiss before he rolls onto his side and tucks me into his chest. I sigh, feeling flustered and turned on, but so very content. My earlier worries disappear, but I know they’re never far, hiding in the little boxes stashed away in the corners of my mind. I will deal with them when I have to, and until then, I’m going to enjoy every moment just like this one.
** ** ** ** **
Cameron stirs next to me, his eyes opening slowly. I’ve been lying here for almost an hour, just watching him sleep. After I fed Ari and left her to watch her cartoons under the watchful eye of my grandmother, I climbed back under the covers and lay awake while Cameron slept.
“Hey you,” he says, his voice hoarse from sleep. His arms tighten and I snuggle deeper into him.
“G’morning,” I reply with a yawn.
“How long have you been up?”
“Just over an hour. I got up to feed Ari.”
“And where is the little Princess now?”
I look at him quizzically. “Downstairs. Why?”
“I was wondering if it would be okay to ask you to join me in the shower.” His cheeks darken, not much, but I can see the red tinge. Is he blushing?
“I think something can be arranged.”
He grins and starts pulling my pajamas off. Before he gets to my panties, I slide out of bed and saunter over to my bathroom, deliberately shaking my hips as I go. I hear him mutter tease under his breath and then he’s behind me, grabbing my hips, sliding his hands up to cup my breast. He doesn’t let go until we’re standing under the hot spray of the showerhead and I turn to face him. We start washing each other, exchanging sensual touches, alluring glances while we rinse the soapy suds from our bodies. My body responds to every caress, my flesh breaking out in goose flesh every time his hands and fingers tease me. His hands rest on my hips and he pushes me up against the wall, shielding me from the spray. I pull him into me and crash my mouth into his. I want him so badly that I ache. I dip my tongue into his mouth, licking slowly, caressing his tongue until we both moan into each other. His lips part from mine and I open my eyes to see him staring at me, a fusion of ardor and something else I can’t quite place colliding violently in his eyes. “You are so beautiful,” he says. His words come quietly, mixed with the steam and the heady atmosphere that swirls around us. Droplets of water slide down his face and I lean in to catch them just as they reach his lips.
“Touch me,” I whisper against his lips, needy for the contact.
Without saying another word, Cameron's hand slips down my thigh and between my legs, nudging me to part for him. His fingers find the nub of hypersensitive nerves between my slick folds and start rubbing in circles, adding more and more pressure. My hips start moving, increasing in pace when he slips not one, but two fingers inside me. Gripping his shoulders for support, I press my head against the wall and feel him suck my nipple into his mouth.
“Oh my…” I moan between pants. “Oh yes, Cam…”
My body is on fire and every nerve ending is alive, crackling with desire. Cameron has a way of making me feel coveted and adored, even when we’re together like this. He doesn’t make me feel dirty or embarrassed for giving myself to him this way. It just feels natural and so damn good. Incredible, actually.
His mouth moves to my other nipple as his fingers continue to stroke me, pressing harder and harder. His fingers curl and he presses deeper, causing a violent orgasm to rip through my body. He swallows my scream by cupping his other hand over my mouth while I shake, my chest heaving with heavy breaths.
Cameron smiles at me. “That’s an incredible sight,” he says, making me blush.
“That was…” I breathe out. “Amazing.”
“Told you I’m good,” Cameron grins. I’m about to say something smart, but Cameron and I are halted when the shower curtain is ripped open. Our heads whip to the side.
“Mommy, Cam is touching you.”
Our eyes grow wide as Ari stares at us. It takes a second or two for us to gain our bearings and when we do, Cameron mutters “Oh shit,” while trying to cover himself up with the shower curtain, nearly slipping on his ass in the process.
“Ari!” I squeal, trying to grab the nearest towel without face planting on the tiled floor. I wrap it around myself and pick Ari up, rushing out of the bathroom and shutting the door.
“How did you get in here?” I ask Ari. I quickly place her on the bed and slip into my robe.
Ari’s eyes never leave me and when I pick her up again she blurts, “Mommy, Cam has a tail.”
I freeze, staring at my daughter, because, well, I can’t help it. Oh, dear Lord, did she just say that? I cover my mouth to hide the giggle that wants to come out and take Ari downstairs. My grandmother gives me a look, like she knows what just happened and my face becomes hot. “I’ll be down in a few minutes,” I say, placing Ari amongst her toys in front of the television. I take the stairs two at a time and slide down the door after it’s closed, struggling to contain my laughter. Cameron pokes his head out the bathroom door.
“Is it safe?” he asks, looking as embarrassed as I feel. One look at his face and the lid on my laughter comes off.
I stand, wiping the tears from my face. “It’s safe,” I say between bouts of laughter. “But that was so…” my words trail off as I am no longer capable of speech. Cameron walks towards me, a towel around his waist and wraps his arms around me.
“What’s so funny?”
I choke, thinking about Ari’s comment.
“Tell me,” he presses.
I look into his eyes and try to squelch my laughter long enough to talk. “Um, Ari....” I start, waiting for my breathing to return to normal. “She made a comment, when you were still in the bathroom.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “What did she say?”
“She, uh, said you have a tail.”
I press my face into his damp chest, shaking as more laughter takes over. The moment the words came out of Ari’s mouth is on constant replay in my head, which is probably why I can’t stop laughing.
Cameron clears his throat and I look up to see him blushing. His cheeks are rosy and he’s rubbing the back of his neck.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, laying a kiss on his pec. “I didn’t mean to laugh, but it was just so funny.”
Placing my fingers under his chin, I tip his face up so that he can look at me. “It’s okay,” I assure him. “She’ll forget about it in a few hours.”
“But I won’t,” he grumbles.
I kiss the side of his mouth. “Don’t worry about it.”
He sighs, kissing me back. “Okay, fine.”
I smile against his lips. “Let’s get dressed. I want to go see your sister and the baby.”
After getting dressed, and having an awkward breakfast, Cameron got Ari’s car seat out of my car and put it in his truck. I zip Ari’s jacket and get her ready to leave when my grandmother stops me at the front door.
“You’d better be more careful next time,” she warns quietly. “I won’t be having Arianna exposed to such things on a regular basis. Now, I understand you’re young and Cameron is nice to look at, but all I’m asking is that you be a little more sensible next time.”
My brows furrow. “It was an accident, Gama. She just opened my bedroom door and came in. What was I supposed to do? I don’t like that you’re insinuating I would purposefully expose her to...to…things like that.”
My grandmother's face softens slightly. “I know, sweetheart, and I’m not insinuating anything of the kind. All I’m saying is that you two need to be careful because Ari is around. I know you two are probably having sex, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but you need to make sure Ari isn’t exposed to that side of your relationship.”
“I would never do anything to harm Ari, you know that.”
“Of course, sweetheart. But just be careful, okay?”
I nod and my grandmother smiles, cupping my face with her hand. “You are a good mother, Hayley. I know you will always do what’s best for your baby girl.”
“We’ll be more careful next time, Gama,” I promise.
“Good girl.”
With that my grandmother goes back into the kitchen. The front door opens and Cameron appears.
“You girls ready?” he asks.
Ari answers by running up to him and throwing her arms in the air, a silent command that she wants to be picked up. Cameron does it without hesitation, although his cheeks turn a darker shade of red whenever Ari looks at him. I find it comical. How a two year old little girl can make a grown man like Cameron, who is confident and sometimes cocky, blush every shade of red on the color wheel. But even so, watching them together always makes me feel strange. In a good way.
Cameron parks his truck and takes us inside the hospital. We take the elevator up to the maternity floor and head straight for Candice’s room. Cameron knocks and I follow behind him. Candice is holding her newborn and Cameron’s mother, Gemma, is sitting beside her on the bed. I don’t see Brett anywhere so I assume he’s out with Jordan.
“Hi,” Candice whispers. Cameron leans down and kisses her cheek before doing the same with his mother. I walk closer and give each of them a hug, careful not to squeeze Candice too hard.
I watch how Cameron holds Ari, suspended above where Candice is holding her daughter. “Mommy, look,” she says, lifting her gaze to me. I smile at her, thinking back to when she was as small as the bundle in Candice’s arms.
“I see, princess. It’s a baby.”
“A baby,” she repeats, looking down.
“Did you finally choose a name?” Cameron asks.
Candice smiles. “We decided on Aubrey Michaela.”
Gemma sniffles and I realize she moved from her spot on the bed to next to me.
“Are you okay?” I ask her gently, understanding just how emotional she must feel.
“Oh, I’m fine, honey.” Her eyes tell me a different story but it’s not my place to push. Cameron walks across the room and joins us. He engulfs his mother in his arms, and I hear her muffled sobs. It then dawns on me that this must be incredibly difficult for her, getting to experience this magic without her husband. Candice wipes a tear and I squeeze her hand. I might not understand what they’ve been through, but I understand wishing you had someone there to share this with. I felt it for months before and after Ari was born.
“Thank you, Hayley,” Candice whispers.
I frown. “For what?”
“Just…thank you.”
Her words and the way she says it makes something tug at my heartstrings. She glances back at Cameron and their mother and suddenly it becomes a little clearer. She’s thanking me for so much more than I think I can give, but it makes me want to throw caution to the wind and give this thing with Cameron everything I’ve got. Because somehow, I think he could possibly do the same.