Before we went to Rome. You were smoking yourself that time. She tucked her hair behind her ears, embarrassed. Oh yes, she said. Did I say I hated my life? Felix said he was pretty sure. Well, maybe I did then, she replied. But I don’t now. He said nothing, looking down at his hand as he smoked. Then he said: Here, look what happened me at work today. He held out the hand and showed her the deep horizontal wound running under the knuckle of his smallest finger. The cut itself was darker now, healing over, while the surrounding skin was red and inflamed. Wincing, Alice clutched her face.
Felix moved his hand around, as if to examine the wound from different angles. I didn’t even notice it until it started bleeding everywhere, he said. He looked up at her, saw her face and added: Shit like that happens all the time in there, it didn’t hurt that much or anything. She took his hand without speaking and lifted it against her cheek. He gave an
uncertain kind of laugh. Ah, you’re very soft, he said. It’s just a scrape, I shouldn’t have even showed it to you.
Does it hurt now? she asked.
No, not really. Washing my hands it stings a bit.
It’s not fair, Alice said.
You think everything is unfair.
The back door behind them opened then, and Alice let Felix’s hand fall away from her cheek, though she still held it in hers. After a moment, another man came down onto the grass nearby. He was tall, with reddish fair hair, wearing a close-fitting patterned shirt.
Seeing them, he started to laugh, and Felix said nothing.
Am I interrupting something? said the man.
Not to worry, Felix said. Didn’t know you were here.
The man removed a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and began lighting one. This must be the new girlfriend, he said. Alice, isn’t it? They were just talking about you in there. Someone got up an article about you online.
She looked at Felix, but he did not return her eye contact. Oh dear, she said.
You have some big fans out there on the internet, the man added.
Yes, I believe so, she replied. Also a lot of people who hate me and wish me ill.
The man seemed to accept this neutrally. Didn’t see any of those, he said, but I suppose everyone has them. How’s things with you, Felix?
Can’t complain.
How’d you land yourself a famous girlfriend?
Tinder, he said.
The man exhaled a stream of smoke. Yeah? I’m on there all the time, never see anyone famous. Are you going to introduce us or what?
Alice glanced uncertainly at Felix, who looked perfectly relaxed.
Alice, that’s my brother there, he said. Damian. You don’t have to shake his hand or anything, you can just nod at him from a distance.
She looked back over at the man with some surprise. Oh, it’s good to meet you, she said. You don’t look anything alike.
He smiled back at her. I’ll take that as a compliment, he said. I heard you were in Rome together there a few weeks ago, is that right? You must have swept him off his feet, Alice. He wouldn’t usually be the type for romantic mini-breaks.
Really he was just keeping me company on a work trip, she said.
Damian seemed to find the whole exchange increasingly amusing. He went along to your book events and that, did he? he asked.
Some of them, said Alice.
Well, well. On top of everything else he must have learned to read since I last saw him.
Ah no, Felix said. But why would I bother, she can tell me the good bits in person.
Ignoring his brother, Damian looked Alice up and down with some curiosity. After another drag on his cigarette, he said: Mad few years you’ve had, isn’t it?
I suppose so, she said.
Yeah, I’ve a friend who’s a big fan of yours, actually. She was saying your film must be coming out soon, is that right?
Politely, Alice replied: It’s not really my film, it’s just based on one of my books.
Putting his hand on Alice’s back, Felix said: Here, you’re annoying her talking about that stuff. She doesn’t like it.
Damian nodded, unfazed, smiling to himself. Does she not, he said. Addressing Alice then, he went on: He’s not being nice, you know. He seriously doesn’t have a fucking clue who you are. He’s never read a book in his life.
She’s hardly stuck for meeting people who like reading, said Felix. Sure they never leave her alone.
Damian took another drag on his cigarette. After a moment he said to Alice: Do you know he’s been avoiding me?
Alice looked at Felix, who was gazing down at his feet, shaking his head.
See, when our mam died, Damian went on, she left us both the house, yeah? Together.
And we agreed we were going to sell it. Are you following me? You’re a smart lady,
I’m sure you are. Anyway, I can’t sell it without his signature on all these documents.
And in the last few weeks, he’s just disappeared. Won’t answer my calls, texts, nothing.
What do you think that’s about?
Alice said quietly that it was none of her business.
You’d think he’d be happy to have a bit money coming his way, Damian added. God knows he’s been short of it often enough.
Anything else you want to rat on me about while you’re here? Felix asked.
Ignoring him, Damian went on thoughtfully: Tom Heffernan gave him an awful lot of money there at one stage. Auld lad who lives in town with his wife. Wonder why that was. What’s the connection, do you know?
Felix was shaking his head again, flicking the end of his cigarette away into the grass, and in the dimming light of the eastern sky his face was flushed.
Look, you seem like a nice girl, Damian remarked. Maybe a bit too nice, yeah? Don’t let him make a fool of you, that’s my advice.
Coolly Alice answered: I wonder what makes you believe I could possibly want life advice from you.
Felix started laughing at that, high wild laughter. Damian said nothing for a moment, smoking slowly. Then he said: You’ve got it all figured out, have you?
Oh, I’d say I’m doing alright, she answered.
In a conciliatory tone now, still grinning, Felix said: Here, Damian. I’ll come over tomorrow morning before work and do that for you. Okay? And you can leave off harassing me. Is that fair enough?
Still looking at Alice, Damian answered: Fine. He dropped his cigarette in the grass.
God help you both, he added. Turning around then, he went back inside. The door clicked shut behind him. Felix stepped out from behind the garage as if to check he was really gone, and then laced his fingers together and placed his hands on the back of his head. She watched him.
Yeah, he said. Damian. We hate each other, by the way, I don’t know if I said that to you before.
You didn’t.