- EPILOGUE-
LANE, Ten Months Later -
“Christ, Raegan, finish it up already,” I complained while hunched over.
“It has to be perfect,” she mumbled.
“It’s six letters, baby. Write them, so we can finish this.”
“Lane, this is permanent. Let me get it exactly right.” I didn’t think her cold hands would be warming up anytime soon. I would never understand how she could have iceberg hands when it was ninety damn degrees out.
“B-R-A-D-E-N, that’s it. It shouldn't take you an hour,” I continued.
“No, mama, fix that ‘R,’ it doesn't look right,” Braden added.
“Oh, you’re right, sweetie,” Raegan cooed.
“Can we let the man do his job now?”
“Almost….” I felt her dragging the pen across my skin. “There! It’s perfect.” She clapped her hands and moved to sit directly in front of me.
I was straddling the chair and leaning over the back. Raegan smiled brightly when we finally sat face-to-face. Kate sat on her right, looking both worried and uncomfortable. It was Braden that made me chuckle though, because I had never seen him smile so much in the entire year I had known him.
“Smile, Kit Kat.” I grinned at her.
“Will it hurt, daddy?” her little voice asked.
“Dad is strong, he won’t cry!” Braden chimed in, while flexing his muscles.
“I can handle it, Kate. Besides, it’s time for Braden to join you, right?”
She nodded her head but still looked concerned. Braden was bouncing in his seat and Raegan mouthed ‘thank you’ to me. As if she had to thank me—these three were my whole entire world.
I tried not to think about my life a year ago and how lost I was without them. I didn't know if Kate was alive or dead, and I had no idea that Raegan and Braden would one day become such a huge part of my life. Now I loved them so much it hurt—literally.
I almost cringed when the needle touched the back of my neck, but I was able to maintain a stoic yet relaxed face in front of my anxious crew. After a few minutes of the buzzing sound across my skin, Kate finally let out a deep breath. I watched as she realized I wasn’t being tortured and that this was something it was time to do for her brother.
Ash had once written Kate’s name out across the back of my neck. I wanted a piece of both of her parents to show my love for her. It was only right to do the same for my son. And Raegan needed to be the one to write out his name.
My son. Those words still blew my mind.
The formal adoption papers had finally come in the mail this past week. Raegan had officially adopted Kate, and I had done the same with Braden. I wasn’t surprised when Adam had readily terminated his parental rights, even though Rae had been worried we’d have to fight him. It wasn’t hard to convince him though. I put a little extra on his prison commissary tab and, just like that, he signed over his son. Disgusting bastard.
Our family was now legal. Raegan and I had gone to the courthouse and said our vows not long after the whole Adam debacle. I’d protested and said that we should have a big affair because she deserved to be spoiled, but she swore up and down that wasn’t what she wanted. All she wanted was to work on the adoptions and we had to be married for that to happen.
My mom kicked my ass from New York to Texas when she found out I was married in a courthouse. She even traveled the fifteen hundred miles just so she could frown at me while she made me help her unpack. She and my dad bought a little house in the same town where we lived after he retired from the force and joined the County Sheriff’s office to work alongside Mack. Mom would never let him putter around the house in retirement; they would drive each other nuts. I loved that they lived so close to us and the kids loved having their grandparents nearby, who did everything in their power to spoil them rotten.
“You done back there?” I asked over my shoulder.
“Lane!” Rae hissed. “Do not rush him!”
“I’m antsy, babe.”
“The plane doesn’t even leave for another six hours. We can’t get there any faster,” she laughed.
“Maybe we could ask them if they have any flights going out sooner?” I asked, grasping at straws. She mouthed ‘no’ to me and I lowered my head back down to my chest in defeat.
“Dude, I can’t believe you’re getting a tattoo right before you head to the beach,” I heard Jace’s voice from behind me.
“Uhh…. I have to advise against that,” James, the tattoo artist, said between the buzzing sounds of his machine.
“I’ll be fine.” I shrugged it off without actually moving my shoulders.
“Yeah, my dad is strong!” Braden cried out. I reached out my fist and bumped knuckles with the little dude.
My front door opened and closed a few more times, and I knew the whole gang was here now. I paid the tattoo artist extra to come to the house. I didn’t feel right about taking Kate and Braden to a tattoo shop. There was no telling what the other artists would be tattooing or piercing on their clients. The kids weren’t old enough for that talk yet.
“Hey!” Audrey called out. She walked into my view and held out her arms for Braden. “It’s the big day, huh?”
“Yeah! That’s my name, Aunt Audrey. It’s gonna be there for-ev-er!” I loved how he had enunciated that last word.
“That’s right, you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life, bud,” I said.
“Hey doll, guess what?” Braden asked. The whole room burst into laughter. Braden had taken to using my nickname for her a few months ago and it still made us all laugh.
“What, love?” Audrey responded.
“Mama and I get new last names now! I get to be Braden Parker!” he cried.
Braden really had opened up and was becoming quite outgoing, just like his sister. Who, by the way, was currently cuddled up in Jaxon’s arms. Those two had built a pretty solid bond and anytime they were both in the same room, she suckered him into holding her until I would finally have to go steal my daughter back.
“That’s right, buddy, you’re mom is finally admitting who she belongs to.” I eyed Raegan playfully and tried to tamp down my libido. When Raegan and I had said our vows, she decided not to take my last name until Braden could officially have it as well. I couldn’t argue with the idea of not leaving Braden behind, but I also couldn’t help the caveman inside of me that wanted his woman to be branded with his last name. When I thought about her being Raegan Parker, I needed to rip her clothes off and christen the marriage all over again.
“I think the tattoo around her ring finger pretty much covered that for you,” Audrey chuckled.
I looked down at the ink around my own ring finger and smiled. I’d proposed to Raegan less than a week after we left the hotel, but I didn’t have a ring ready because I wanted her to pick it out.
She hadn’t had any freedom to make choices for herself during the years that she was gone. So every chance I got, I wanted her to be able to have the option to make her own choices. I remember frowning when she told me she didn’t want a ring because she would more than likely lose it.
What she did ask for made me smile like crazy though. She wanted to be branded. I jumped at the opportunity to do the same for her. Wrapped around our left ring fingers were the words, I Promise.
She didn’t have enough skin on her body for me to mark all of the promises I had made to her. All the promises I would keep. And if for some reason someone forced me to break those promises, Raegan knew that I would fight like hell—I would take on the world, if need be—to keep my family safe and happy. They were my everything.
“…build sand castles, and go swimming, and eat cake, and go sporkeling,” I heard Kate chatting Jaxon’s ear off.
“You mean snorkeling?” he laughed. She nodded her head and he said, “I can’t wait!”
James patted my back and mumbled, “Finished.” He turned toward his black bag and began efficiently packing everything away. “Keep it covered from the sun, out of the water, away from sand, blah, blah, blah. I doubt you’ll listen to anything I’m telling you, so more than likely I’ll see you in a month for a re-do.” He shrugged. I had a feeling he didn’t care because that was more money for him.
“Thanks, man,” I laughed.
“Is everyone packed?” Raegan asked the group.
“Oh, keep rubbing it my face!” Quinn’s annoyed voice called out. I found her leaning against Cole’s chest and he chuckled at her discomfort. His hands reached forward and rubbed her bulging belly. “Y’all really should have told me eight months ago you were planning on going on an awesome trip together… before I had unprotected sex with this guy.” She pointed back to her husband.
“Hey, this is my son you’re complaining about,” Cole scolded, kneeling down to kiss her belly. “She doesn’t mean it, buddy,” he whispered.
Every once in a while, I thought about what Raegan would look like with a belly like that. I couldn’t even imagine knowing that I had filled her with that growing life, but then I got worried because I already had a daughter and a son. How would I love another one as much as I loved those two? Surprisingly, Raegan had been putting these ideas in my head of maybe having a baby in the future. I think Kate and Braden were breaking her down for a little brother or sister. I wanted whatever Raegan wanted, but that didn’t mean it didn’t scare me any less. For now, I’d enjoy the perfection that is my family.
“Hey, this is our family vacation,” Raegan chided. “Everyone else is just tagging along.”
She may try to act cool in front of me and everyone else, but she was just as excited for this trip as I was. We had also more than welcomed our friends to join along. More babysitters meant more alone time with Raegan. We had been waiting a long time for this trip. The legal costs for Kate and Braden’s adoptions were pretty outrageous, and therefore we hadn’t been able to take a family trip like I’d originally planned last fall.
Now, summer was in full swing, we had a resort booked in the middle of the Caribbean, and for six whole days we would be carefree and living the island life. No work. No school. No responsibilities. I could play with the kids all day and then play with Raegan all night. My kind of heaven.
“Babe,” I heard Rae call out from down the hall.
“Yeah?” I asked, while crouching down so Braden could get a closer inspection of my new ink.
“I need your help for a second,” she hollered back.
“You like it, buddy?” I asked Braden before standing fully upright.
“It’s awesome, dad.”
“It’s all for you, bud. You know I love you, right?” He nodded his head and repeated the sentiment back to me before he ran off to play with Kate.
I padded on bare feet down the hallway and found Rae in the laundry room, tossing a few extra clothes into our suitcases. Her back was to the door, so I walked up behind her and slipped my hands around her waist.
“I can’t wait to see you sprawled out on a beach chair with the sun kissing your gorgeous skin,” I whispered into her neck.
“Lane…” she moaned. “I think you’re more excited than the kids.”
“That’s probably true,” I chuckled. “Come on! It’s our first family vacation… this is epic!”
“You’re adorable,” she giggled. “Okay, let me have my turn at looking at it. Turn around, please.”
I spun around and once again crouched, so she could see the back of my neck. Her finger grazed around the gauze-covered tattooed skin, not touching the new ink but getting close enough that I could feel her appreciation.
“I love it,” she whispered.
“Baby, I love you guys so much.”
“Hey, guess what?” Her tone changed so quickly that my eyebrow automatically cocked in question. “I accidently overheard Jaxon and Em talking earlier.”
“You were eavesdropping?” I laughed.
“I didn’t mean to! But guess what? He asked her if she packed her birth control for the trip.” I had an idea where this was going. “And she said no!” she whisper-shouted in excitement. Raegan had recently jumped on the get-Em-pregnant train with Audrey and Quinn. Girls were funny creatures.
“We knew it was coming, babe.” I smiled at her excitement, even though I’d known it wouldn’t be too much longer. Ever since Jaxon had laid into Adam that day in the parking lot about how he would worship the ground Em walked on if she were carrying his child, he had become more and more open to the idea of kids. I actually wondered if he wasn’t the one now trying to convince Em they were ready, but I wouldn’t tell Raegan that.
I dipped down to take her lips against mine. The soft plump of her lower lip pushed in and I gently grazed my teeth across it. She whimpered as my hands pulled her in closer to my body.
I pulled back and said, “This past year, babe, it’s been the best year of my life.”
“It’s been a pretty good one,” she replied casually. I tickled her for that and she shrieked, but I didn’t let up until she breathlessly said, “Okay, okay! Best... Year… Ever!”
“Damn straight.” I gently nipped at her lip. “Can we please leave now and try to catch an early flight?”
“No, Lane!” she laughed. “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to change tickets for eight adults and three kids? Impossible. You’ll just have to be patient,” she chided.
“We can meet everyone else there. I mean, just the four of us go early.”
“You’re as bad as a little kid waiting to go to Disney World.”
I smirked. “You in a bikini for six glorious days is my Disney World, babe.”
“Get out of here and let me finish our packing.” She shoved me toward the door with a grin on her face. As I was heading down the hall, she poked her head out and shouted, “Oh, and put your shirt back on! I don’t need Em ogling your body anymore.”
I laughed and Em shouted, “You can’t keep him clothed this entire trip, my dear friend. I’ll get my eye-candy, don’t you worry.” She winked at me and Jaxon rolled his eyes.
I slipped a gray tank over my head, one that dipped down enough around the neck not to rub my tattoo. I plopped down on my couch and watched my front door open again as Charlie walked in with Jace’s secretary, Josephine. Raegan and I apparently had an open-door policy in this house, since no one seemed to care to knock anymore.
“Charlie!” Kate shouted. “You’re going to the beach, too?”
“Sure am, babe.” He lifted his suitcase to show her the evidence.
Charlie still worked for the force up in New York, but he seemed to be venturing down south more and more these days. I invited him and Mateo along on our vacation because I wanted to thank both of them. Those two guys were crucial, not only in my mission to find Kate, but in helping me maintain my sanity. Charlie was on the case every second he could, always keeping me up-to-date when he received new information. He became my eyes and ears, and I would never be able to thank him enough.
Mateo had helped me navigate the underground fight clubs, and he played a critical role in helping me keeping tabs on Flores. Even though I wasn’t able to bring Kate back on my own—I had Rae to thank for that—Mateo had been there every step of the way, willing to assist me at the drop of a dime.
Unfortunately, he had to decline our invite since he was already on another case, helping to try and bring another family back together. The guy was good to the core. He did, however, accept my gift of a pricey bottle of whiskey and said that maybe he would be able to catch us on our next trip.
Recently, Charlie had taken a liking to Jace’s secretary, who he met a few months ago when he came down to see us. Josephine was tagging along on the trip as well. Charlie said it was just so that he wouldn’t be the odd man out in a group of couples, but the way they were holding hands and giving each other lovey-dovey eyes told me it was probably a little more than that.
“Yeah Kate, Charlie’s gonna babysit you and Braden every night so I can take Mama out,” I bellowed.
Charlie shot me a glare and quickly turned his charming smile back to my daughter. “I’d never pass up an opportunity to hang out with you, little lady.”
Raegan finally made her way back into the living room and sat down on the couch next to me. Her head rested on my chest and I brushed my fingers through her long, silky hair. Everyone else eventually wandered into the living room, finding a spot wherever they could. Braden sat down on my leg and Kate crawled up onto Raegan’s lap.
This was my family. Everyone in this room I happily called my family. We didn’t have the same blood running through our veins, but that didn’t mean we loved each other any less. Each one of us would go to the ends of the Earth for one another. This was the life I had always wanted for my future family. I never knew it was possible for a group of people to mesh together in the most randomly wonderful way, but I loved them all.
Especially the three squeezed in around me. The little boy in my lap that exuded the same fierce sense of protectiveness for his family that I did. The little girl that could bring us all to tears with laughter on a daily basis. And the beautiful woman next to me that radiated strength, determination, and the deepest love I had ever felt. They were the ones I would fight for every day.
A little over a year ago, I was wallowing in my own misery. I was told it was time to finally move on, that what I wanted just may not be obtainable anymore. But life was a funny bastard. Sometimes it gave you what you always wanted, and then it liked to throw in a little extra you never knew you needed. Call me greedy, but I wanted it all. And I’d be damned if it was going to take it from me again.
- Acknowledgements –
From the bottom of my heart, a huge thank you goes out to my editor, S.G. Thomas! You answer my late night emails, you are so dang picky and keep me on my toes. You clean up my grammar and make sure I don’t switch to some weird tense. You are definitely a ball-buster. It should go on your business card! You are one-of-a-kind, and I’m so glad we found each other through Beautiful Broken Rules. You make my story stronger and you understand my characters almost as much as I do. Please don’t ever leave me!
To my writing group, AS101, I am extremely grateful for your endless help. Especially, Brooke Cumberland who without a doubt is probably the nicest person I have never actually met. You never stop helping and I just hope that we can all return the favor in some way.
To all the blogs that send messages and support my books, a million thank you’s would never be enough.
And to of course, my husband. You do it all and then some. Every girl deserves a guy like you in their life.