The Holders

17



“So, how are you feeling?” Chloe asked me, as we sat in her room eating Pop Tarts the next morning.

“Well, that was the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had, bar none. I don’t know what was in that bottle Min gave me, but sign me up!”

“It certainly didn’t take long to work,” Chloe laughed. “You all but fell asleep on me in the hall! Mr Anderson had to carry you the rest of the way!”

“Yeah, I was wondering how I ended up in bed.”

“You slept like the dead, I’m sure, but that’s not what I meant. I meant how are you feeling with, you know…?” She left her sentence hanging, leaning forward excitedly.

She was referring to my newfound Holderdom, I knew that. I’d known the first time she asked, but had avoided answering, because honestly, I didn’t know what to tell her. Especially considering that I knew she, of course, thought it was great. Chloe would have been thrilled to be in my shoes, finally getting a chance to play with the big boys, and couldn’t imagine why I’d be anything less than ecstatic.

Deliberately avoiding the question again, I asked one of my own, “Have you seen Alex at all today?”

“Alex? No, why?”

“No reason. I just haven’t seen him since last night and was wondering if something might be wrong.”

Worrying would have been closer to the truth, but as it wasn’t a feeling I thought I could do an adequate job of explaining, I didn’t elaborate. There was more than likely no need to worry. Everything was probably fine. Still though, much as I tried to shake it, something felt off.

His disappearance alone wouldn’t have been enough to really concern me if it hadn’t been for the whispered conversation between Min and Mr Anderson I’d half-heard last night. I had no way to prove it, but something deep down told me they had been talking about Alex.

“Hmm,” Chloe mused, pulling me out of my thought bubble, “now that you mention it, he didn’t look well when he got me out of class yesterday, and told me what had happened.”

“Didn’t look well how?”

“Well, he was more than a little shaken up, but knowing now what actually happened in there to you all, that part isn’t surprising. But beyond that, he was a bit pale, and tired-looking. Sick, maybe?”

“Could be,” I supposed. Min had mentioned checking on him, and Mr Anderson had asked if he would be able to “move past it”, so I guess being sick made sense. Still, that wouldn’t explain the rest of the conversation, including the mention of a “mistake”. However, in all fairness, my eavesdropping had occurred while I was more than half-asleep and I could just as easily have misheard.

In any event it didn’t matter because, sick or not, Alex was sure to be at the Order meeting later, where I could ask him myself if anything was wrong. Until then, I had enough to worry about without obsessing over something that would likely turn out to be nothing.

“If you think I haven’t noticed that you’re not answering my question, you’re sadly mistaken, lady,” she said, cocking her eyebrows.

“Sorry, what was it again?” I asked innocently.

“How. Do. You. Feel?”

“OK, I guess,” I admitted with a shrug, looking down at the gold cuff covering the majority of my lower arm – or my Sciath, as I supposed I would need to start calling it, though “embarrassing eyesore” was still more appropriate, as far as I was concerned.

“Only OK? How can you say that? It’s fantastic!”

“Yeah, except it’s really not,” I said, flicking at the chains hanging from my arm.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. What if I can’t do all the things everyone expects me to? What if I totally suck at this? You all have been waiting for this for hundreds of years, and everyone has such high hopes…” I dropped off, and rubbed my hands over my face. “I’m just not used to letting people down.”

“Oh!” She jumped up, pulling me with her and wrapped her arms around my neck. “You won’t let anyone down! The fact that you have awakened the Iris alone is enough to keep most of them happy for the next fifty or so years,” she smiled. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. You’re overwhelmed, that’s all. Just wait, you’ll feel worlds better when you find out exactly what your ability is – speaking of which, you need to get downstairs.”

“And then there’s that,” I said, slipping on my shoes and shuffling to the door. “What if my ability turns out to be something horrible, like laser beams shooting out of my eyes or something?”

“Laser beams?” she barked a laugh. “I think we need to take away your comic books! Should we call you Super Holder?”

“Really?” I sniped. “Comic book jokes, from a girl who can walk through time!”

“Yes,” she allowed, still laughing. “But it’s still a far cry from laser eyes.”

“OK then, fine, it probably won’t be lasers. But I could still get stuck with something boring, like being able to predict the weather, or maybe some messed-up Midas syndrome where everything I touch turns to… I don’t know…”

“Gold?” Chloe suggested.

“Yeah, but we both know I’d never get that lucky. It’d end up being aluminum.”

“Listen to me,” Chloe said, taking both my hands in hers. “You are talking madness, and you know it. Everything will be fine, and even if it’s not, we all love you and won’t let anything bad happen to you. You know that, right?”

I nodded, letting her words unwind me just a little. “Thanks, Chloe,” I said, hugging.

“Of course! Now, go get ’em Super Holder!” she said, grinning and giving me a playful shove into the hall. “I’ll be here when you get out.” With that, she closed the door, giving me no choice but to leave.

I made my way down the stairs and through the halls, walking as smoothly as I could, trying to prevent the chains on my Sciath from clanking against the hard metal cuff with every step I took. God-damned stupid thing! I felt like a cat wearing one of those bell-collars.

As I reached the doors to the office I heard two familiar voices coming from the adjacent hall, and found Mr Anderson and Mr Reid walking toward me. I sighed with a smile, relieved that I wouldn’t have to walk into the meeting by myself.

“There, now!” Mr Anderson called with a smile as he saw me.

“Good morning.”

“Oh, Becca,” Mr Reid said, placing a hand on my shoulder as he arrived next to me “How are you? I stopped by Min’s rooms last night to see you, but you’d already gone. Are you feeling better?”

“Much, thank you,” I said, touched that he’d thought to come and check on me. The fact that Jocelyn had not bothered to do so – even though he’d had time to personally make sure that Ryland was taken care of – was not lost on me, but for the moment I chose to ignore it.

“Now then,” Mr Anderson said as the three of us stepped up to the carved dark wood doors of Jocelyn’s office, “let’s see what our little lass has for us.” He winked at me as he held open the door, allowing us to pass.

I hadn’t given any thought to what Jocelyn’s office might be like, but the moment I entered the room I realized that I should have, because I was in no way prepared for it. The look, the feel of it all, hit me as hard as the smell of a bakery would a starving man, and I was instantly transported back to my childhood. Back to the house in Maine where a little girl laid on the floor of her daddy’s office, coloring in her coloring books, while he sat at his desk grading term papers. The dark wood bookcases, the wine-red drapes, the large mahogany desk with the high-backed leather chair; it was all so familiar. Different, but somehow exactly the same. This office was of course much bigger, but was set up was just as I remembered – desk facing the room, bookshelves on the left, windows on the right. The drapes were the same color, but these I could see were velvet, not the thin cotton they had been at home, and there was now a fireplace against the far wall where, in Maine, a TV had been.

However, for all the differences in appearance, both big and small, one thing was exactly the same. So much so that, if I’d have let it, it would have brought tears to my eyes.

The smell.

Musty leather from his books, sweet peppermint from the candles he’d always liked, and a musky tang from the same cologne he’d always worn. It was the smell that used to greet me every afternoon when I came home from school. It was the smell of the scarf he would take off and wrap around my neck and face when we’d been out playing in the snow for too long. The smell of him hugging me goodnight.

I quietly cleared my throat, forcefully shoving the unwelcome memories to the back of my mind where they belonged. Having regained my composure, I followed Anderson to the center of the room where there were two leather couches, as well as four armchairs. Min was on one couch with Taron, while Jocelyn was leaning against the desk, talking with Cormac. It wasn’t until I took a seat on the second couch that I noticed Alex sitting in the armchair nearest the desk – and, no sooner did I see him, than my worries were overwhelmingly confirmed.

Something was very wrong.

He sat listlessly staring at the side wall, eyes sunken and bloodshot, his elbow on the arm of the chair while his mouth and chin rested against his closed fist. He was very pale, looking as though he hadn’t slept at all the night before, and it was obvious he hadn’t shaved that morning.

I felt an uncomfortable stretching in my chest that made me squirm in my seat, and I had an almost overwhelming urge to run over and give him a hug. What could be wrong? Was he sick? Could be, though he didn’t look congested or feverish. He just looked… sad.

As I sat there watching him, everything in me seemed to cry out to help. Problem was, I had no idea what to do, much less what to do in a room filled with other people. I continued to stare at him, hoping he might look up and catch my eye so that maybe I could quietly ask him what was wrong, or at the very least give him a sympathetic smile.

Unfortunately, he didn’t look up until Jocelyn’s voice called all our attention to the front of the room.

“Everyone,” he said, standing up straight, lacing his hands together in front of himself. “I think we ought to begin. There is quite a lot to discuss this morning, but before we move to that, Cormac thinks it would be best to start with the Reading.”

My neck grew hot as I could suddenly feel all the eyes in the room on me, causing a ball of prickly anxiety to begin rolling around in my ribcage. Cormac took a step in my direction and I made a move to stand.

“No, no,” he said, raising his hand gently. “Stay seated, please. No need to be uncomfortable.” He smiled, taking the place on the couch next to me. “Now then,” he said, as I shifted to face him, praying it wasn’t obvious how nervous I was. “We will go slowly and I promise you won’t feel a thing. Does she have a Block?” he asked, turning to Min.

“Yes, on her Sciath. I thought it best until we knew what we’re dealing with.”

“Indeed,” Cormac agreed. Then, turning back to me, “Min has put what’s called a Block on your Sciath, making it impossible for you to access your ability as long as it’s there, did she explain that to you?”

“Yes,” I said, nodding.

“A Block can also interfere with my reading, so we will have to remove your Sciath before we can continue.”

“No argument here,” I said, looking forward to being free, even if it was only for a minute.

Min came over and reached for my arm, but I pulled away from her, remembering what she’d told me about the chaos that ensued during yesterday’s test.

“Wait,” I said. “What about yesterday? All the crazy stuff that happened because I didn’t have this on? What if someone gets hurt this time?”

“Aye,” Mr Anderson agreed, looking as concerned as I was. “Duck and cover then, shall we?” to which I heard someone – probably Mr Reid – punch him in the shoulder.

Min smiled at me comfortingly, ignoring them. “Everything will be fine. The issues we had were the direct result of your unprotected contact with the Iris. Without it here, we are all perfectly safe.”

“You’re sure?”

“Don’t worry,” she said, reaching down again for my Sciath.

She undid the clasps, then looked to Cormac who took my free hand in his.

“Are you ready?” Min asked him.

“Yes, go ahead.”

I held my breath as Min removed the Sciath from my arm, and the moment it was gone I felt a warm fuzziness come over me. It seemed to generate from somewhere deep inside me, continually flowing in lazy patterns throughout my entire body. I released the breath I’d been holding, happy to find the sensation pleasant and soothing, as opposed to overwhelming and violent like the experience yesterday had been to the others.

As I began to analyze this new sensation, I found that I could sense other fuzzy energy sources, just like mine, coming from other parts of the room. Some stronger than others, some closer or further away, but all made up of the same blurry flowing force. Stranger yet, was that they weren’t anything that I could actually see or hear. It was more of a feel – like soft brushes against my mind.

“What do you feel?” Cormac whispered, excited curiosity in his sparkling eyes.

“I don’t know,” I told him honestly.

“But you do feel them?”

“Them? You… you feel it too?”

“I can feel everything that you are.”

“What are they?”

His eyebrows creased in amused confusion. “I’m not sure. I’ve never encountered anything like this. Min,” he asked without looking away from me, “can you remove the Block?”

“Yes, of course,” she answered, surprised.

She held the cuff between her hands and bowed her head over it mumbling something under her breath. When she looked up again, Cormac nodded downward indicating she should place it back on my arm.

“Let us see if we can clear things up,” he said softly, though I could hear his anticipation underneath.

The moment the cool metal touched my skin everything rushed into focus, and I sucked in a breath so sharp it made everyone in the room jump. The vague haziness was gone, as though a gust of wind had blown through, clearing away the fog. What was left were seven bright, distinct energy fields, each one located in a different spot around the room. Each one coursing steadily yet powerfully within itself, and each one leaving its own unique feel against my mind.

Then, like the crack of a whip, it came to me.

Seven.

Seven energy sources – seven people!

My eyes darted around frantically from face to face, trying desperately to see what I could so clearly feel.

“It’s all right,” Cormac said, giving my hand a squeeze, his eyes dancing with delight. “Close your eyes and try to relax. It is nothing you can see. Just… feel.”

I took a deep breath and did as he said, closing my eyes and concentrating on each distinctive brush against my mind.

“What are they?” I whispered, hoping this time he would know.

“Abilities,” he said.

“What?” I opened my eyes to find him smiling.

“Each one is the corresponding person’s ability. Their power.”

So, I could sense other Holder’s abilities; that was pretty cool. Could have been worse, anyway.

I closed my eyes again, picking out the nearest ability – Cormac’s as it turned out, since he was the one sitting closest me – and focusing on it. As I concentrated on the unique footprint the delicate swirls and waves of power created, I felt an odd sensation within myself. As though my own ability was trying to reach out and connect somehow with his.

“Go on,” Cormac said, seeming to know what I was considering.

I allowed the flow of my ability to extend outwards until it melted into Cormac’s, creating one long continuous flow between the two of us.

This time it was his turn to make everyone jump, huffing out a breathy, “Oh my!”, as though he’d been punched in the stomach.

“I’m sorry,” I said, quickly breaking the connection between us, pulling my own energy back inward.

The whole room was silent for a few seconds before Cormac began to quietly laugh, shaking his head. “No,” he said, his stunned amusement growing, “don’t apologize.”

“Well, Cormac?” Jocelyn asked, after a few more moments of silence. “Is she…?” He didn’t finish, but everyone knew what he was asking.