The Fate of the Muse

chapter SEVENTEEN

ACCUSED





I’d just shimmied into my swimsuit when my phone rang. I scrambled for it, nearly tripping over my bag.

“Ethan?”

“It’s me, Shayla! Did you see the pictures? Everybody’s going nutsoid over here!”

“Yeah,” I said grimly, “Here too.”

“This is insane! I keep trying to tell them that it was you, not me, but–”

“NO!” I cried, “Please! DO NOT mention me! Keep my name out of this!”

“But–”

“Shayla, please. As far as you know I had nothing to do with it… okay?”

“Okay, I guess… But they’re trying to make me out like some kinda hero! They all want to interview me! I mean, Matt would totally be dead if it wasn’t for you! I still don’t know how you did it…”

“You got him breathing! That’s what saved his life!”

“I can’t take all the credit!”

“You’re going to have to,” I pleaded, my voice low and urgent. After my meeting with the council the last thing I wanted to do was attract any more attention to myself. “I really don’t want any more reporters after me… You know, after what happened,” I said morosely.

“OK, I guess… Are you alright?” Shayla asked.

I sighed, telling her about the tabloid photo that placed me and Kimo together at the scene. I told her how Ethan saw it and didn’t believe that I hadn’t planned the whole thing; it felt good to complain to someone who knew I was innocent. I almost cried when I told her how angry he was.

“He’s a total idiot!” She commiserated with me, “How were we supposed to know Kimo was gonna show up?”

“Yeah,” I grouched, grabbing my wetsuit and a towel. “I have to go,”

“Marina… Don’t do anything dumb, okay?” she said perceptively.

“Don’t worry about me. Good luck in the shows… I’ll talk to you later.”

I was starting to feel self-righteously angry as I carried my board down to the beach. I never dated Kimo, and I didn’t lie to Ethan about meeting him in Hawaii. He was the one who had lied to me about being out with his ex-girlfriend. I wanted to scream out loud in frustration. It felt like fate was conspiring to make me as miserable as possible, plunging me right back into the violence of existing only to surf.

It was only when I got myself a good distance from shore that I started to relax. The swaying rhythm of the rolling water was soothing, and I enjoyed a moment of solitude before Lorelei burst out of the water exuberantly. I was instantly reminded of the painting in the Louvre, looking at the face of our long distant relative.

“Marina! Can we go wave riding?” she asked, as if it were the very first time.

I smiled sadly, at least one thing would never change, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“I know…” she smiled, wild and fiercely joyful, “Let’s go see Nerissa and Nixie!”

I held on tight, watching the distant shoreline speed by as I was towed once again out to the remote and isolated chain of tiny islands. The surf splashed wildly onto the rocky outcroppings, and dozens of pelicans swooped and dove headlong into the sea all around me. I watched them surface, expertly draining the water out of their pouches, and raising their heads to toss the fish down their gullets. Witnessing it up close for the first time, I was so engrossed in the spectacle that I failed to notice the two mermaids surfacing on either side of my board.

“Oh!” I gasped, when I looked down to see Nerissa’s emerald eyes. Then I saw Nixie, and I nearly fell off my surfboard again.

“Marina!” she squealed, her high pitched voice sweeter than a violin.

I was speechless for a moment, for just as Nerissa’s pregnancy had been accelerated, so had Nixie’s growth. In just a few short weeks she looked considerably bigger. Her red hair was as shiny as a candied apple in the bright sunlight, and her dark green eyes sparkled with energy. She was roughly the size of your average two year old, and as cute as any toddler I’d ever seen.

“She’s gotten so much bigger!” I gasped to Nerissa, “Is that normal?”

“No,” she said, her beautiful face puzzled, “That’s Nixie!”

I sighed, smiling with amusement, and turned my attention to the little mermaid, who greeted me as jubilantly as her sisters always did. Enthusiastically leaping out of the water, she frisked about me like an otter, popping up on one side of my board after another in an aquatic game of hide-and-seek.

We surfed and played, and there was no need for conversation, as we all understood each other in a non-verbal way that was eerily familiar. I alone had to stop and rest, sitting up on my board while they patiently waited for the game to start up again. I got an amazing amount of surfing in, for not an ounce of my energy was wasted on paddling into position, and we all instinctively knew which waves weren’t worth trying to ride.

“Look!” cried Nerissa, pointing out a flurry of activity off in the distance. A concentrated spot in the ocean was getting the full attention of hundreds of sooty shearwaters, the dark birds circling and screeching as they landed on the small patch of sea. Pelicans circling overhead dove in, making big splashes as they sliced through the crowd. I could see the fins of dolphins and the shiny black heads of sea lions pop up on the periphery.

“Let’s go!” Lorelei cried with excitement, taking my board in hand and pulling me over to the edge of the feeding frenzy. Once I was closer, I could see the water bubbling with vast shoals of panicked sardines swimming in a dense cloud just beneath the surface. There were silvery striped mackerel nipping at the edges, and they in turn were being preyed upon by the excited dolphins and seals.

The sound coming from the hundreds of birds circling in the air was deafening, and I perched on my board watching the primordial spectacle in awe. The creatures moved in the water like one giant organism in a choreographed dance, bloody and violent, driven by a fierce and terrible need. All three mermaids laughed and flung themselves right into the middle of the action, diving and surfacing with their mouths full of fish, munching away with enthusiasm.

I watched them feeding, fascinated, and it occurred to me that they were a strange combination of child and animal. Their human side was curious and naive; the animal part, wild and wary. I remembered Evie once wistfully saying that the only thing more fleeting than summer was childhood, and I realized that even though their infancy was shortened, a mermaid’s childhood was eternal.

Perpetual children, they were playful, irresponsible and free. Watching them, knowing that they’d be exactly the same centuries from now, was both comforting and humbling. It also made me a little sad in a way I couldn’t quite define.

Nixie was even more excited than her sisters, building up speed to breach the water, leaping over my board like a dolphin. Lorelei and Nerissa laughed at her antics, and their combined voices were almost unbearably harmonic. I wished that someone else could hear it too… someone human, someone I could talk to.

After a while the fish disappeared and the animals drifted away, leaving behind only a few feathers floating on the surface as a testament to what had just occurred. The four of us went back to surfing, and as the day wore on, I ignored my growing fatigue. I was thirsty and tired, but I didn’t want it to end. I was right on the verge of having to ask Lorelei to bring me home when a vision struck me like a bolt of lightning.





I was running through a heavily wooded area, with someone crashing through the trees hot on my heels. I was desperate to escape, but I was dizzy, and the darkness slowed me down as I aimed for a break in the foliage. As soon as I entered the clearing I realized I’d made a terrible mistake, stopping just in time to keep from flying off the steep cliff and splattering on the rocks below. I turned to face my pursuer.





I opened my eyes, and looked into Lorelei’s frightened face. She had seen it too.

I sat up blinking, rubbing my throbbing temples as I came back to reality. The three mermaids were all around me, holding my board steady and looking at me with wide, confused eyes. They had all seen it, only they were unable to make sense of what it could mean. They were speechless– their thoughts confused and scattered. The pain in my head eased, and I tried to smile reassuringly at them.

“Don’t worry,” I said, even though I knew they could feel the weight of my fear.

I had the long tow home to try and imagine exactly what it meant. I was being chased, but by who? Maybe it was just one of those dreams where you can’t get away and you can’t scream; at least nothing really bad happened to anyone in it. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t visualize who my pursuer was.

It was after dark when I got home, surprising Abby and Dutch. They looked cozy, snuggled up on the couch, watching television. I couldn’t help thinking that was exactly what Ethan and I should be doing.

Apparently Abby could read my mind. “Where’s Ethan?” she asked.

“He’s at home,” I said nonchalantly, waving a casual hello as I passed by them, “I was out surfing with friends.”

“Do you want something to eat?”

I kept moving, walking down the hall, “No thanks.” I closed the door behind me and collapsed on the bed, images of Nixie’s happy little face flashing before my eyes. I remembered her laughter as she slid down the wave on the front of my board, and I wondered what Evie would think about her unusual growth spurt. Right on cue, the phone in my purse rang. I did the time calculations– it was morning in Paris; Evie must have had gotten wind of my Hawaiian adventure.

“Marina, darling, are you alright? Tell me what happened.”

“I’m fine, it was no big deal, just a surfing accident.”

“I can only imagine… Shayla tells me that you singlehandedly pulled two grown men out of the ocean.”

I cringed, realizing that Shayla could never stand up to an interrogation by Evie.

“I just helped a little. Shayla was the one who performed CPR…”

Evie laughed, “To hear her tell it, she’s being forced to take the credit for something she didn’t do. The press is going wild over her– They can’t get over how modest she’s being. She’s absolutely the toast of the town!”

“That’s good,” I said, flopping my head back down on my pillow.

“No dear, she’s fine,” I heard Evie’s muffled voice, and the murmuring of another in return.

“Is Shayla there?” I asked, “Can I talk to her?”

“No, I’m breakfasting with my dear friend Olivia… You remember her from the meeting, right? She was so very disappointed not to have the opportunity to get to know you better.”

My hair stood on end, and I sat bolt upright, “Uh…Uh, Yeah… Well, I wanted to be there for Shayla.”

“I understand dear, we were just making plans for Olivia to come for a visit to San Francisco. She’ll stay with me, and that way she can meet Cruz as well. Won’t that be lovely?”

“Yeah… lovely,” I said, icy fear sitting in the pit of my stomach.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked, concerned.

“Yes, absolutely. I have to be going. Enjoy the rest of your time in Paris.”

“Oh! Marina–”

“Yes?”

“They’re putting Shayla on the cover… That sports magazine thingy? She’s very excited about it.”

I hung up the phone and paced around my room, fatigue forgotten. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being pushed into a corner. It felt like a trap was closing in on me, and my skin was crawling with the sensation of being stalked. I thought about my new art studio sitting empty, and it felt like my only safe haven. Shayla and Megan were the only ones who even knew that I had rented it, and they were both out of town.

I turned off my phone and dressed, packing an overnight bag. I hurried out the front door, cheerfully telling Abby that I had plans, and not to bother waiting up for me. She nodded, and I was relieved when I saw her check herself, refraining from questioning me. As more and more time passed without incident, Abby was starting to let her guard down and keep from fretting over me so much. I think she realized I was chafing under her stewardship, and getting a little old for such babying. She’d have a real baby to fuss over pretty soon, I thought with relief.

She smiled up at me tiredly, her head on Dutch’s shoulder, “Have fun sweetie. Drive carefully.”

I turned into the dark, deserted alley, parking and nervously making my way up the stairs. I slipped in the door quietly, and looked around, relieved to find the place exactly as I had left it. I rummaged through the little refrigerator and sat down to eat some crackers and cheese. Candles unused in the holders stood next to a sad bouquet of dead flowers, dredging up memories of how I’d let Amber spook me out of bringing Ethan here.

I wandered over to the easels with their big blank canvases and closed my eyes. I was seized with the urge to paint, and decided to try and capture the beautiful waves of Hawaii. I started hesitantly, and as I picked up the tempo I got lost in the memories. I could almost feel the warm turquoise water surrounding me, and smell the ocean’s perfume on the balmy breeze.

I dove into the work headfirst, focusing only on the white canvas, blocking out all other thoughts and giving myself over to the sweet relief of forgetting. Before I knew it, the sun was rising, and I was shocked to discover that I’d been painting all night. Mission accomplished; I had successfully kept my mind off of Ethan, forgetting Olivia and the strange vision to boot. I flopped down onto my own comfortable couch, pulled a throw blanket over me, and fell into an exhausted sleep.

By the time I woke it was Saturday afternoon, and I sat up and stretched, pondering what I should do next. I splashed some water on my face and studied the painting I’d gotten so lost in. It had morphed from a simple wave into the blue tube of water I’d been so thrilled to surf on. Looking at it made me want to be in the water, and I decided I’d go out surfing again, thinking that at least my sisters would be happy to see me.

When I pulled up at Abby’s to retrieve my board, Ethan was there before I could even step out of the Rover.

“Where have you been?” he asked loudly, “I’ve been looking all over for you!”

I squared my shoulders and hardened my face, “You told me to go away.”

I brushed past him and made for the house. I wanted to go surfing, not be accused of chasing around after Kimo again. He darted past me onto the porch, positioning himself between me and the door.

“Please,” he said, softly this time, “I was wrong… I’m sorry.”

I looked at him skeptically, not even close to forgiving him, “Really? Why the sudden change of heart?” I asked sarcastically.

“Shayla called me… she told me what happened.”

My eyes flew open with outrage, and now it was my turn to raise my voice, “You believe Shayla, but you won’t believe ME? That’s just great!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I saw that picture of you with him… and–”

“Could you please move?”

“Marina, I wasn’t thinking straight… it made me crazy.”

“Go away!”

“No. I’m not leaving.”

There it was again, another “no”, and it aggravated me once more. Evie had to be wrong about that whole “no” thing.

“Let me go in,” I said through gritted teeth, like an angry ventriloquist.

“Not until you talk to me,” he held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.

“Like you talk to Amber?” I hissed, surprising myself. I guess I was never going to get over it.

“It’s not like I can avoid her when I’m at work,” he said defensively.

“At least I’m not talking to Kimo about you!” I replied harshly.

“I told her we were getting married!” he yelled.

“Yeah? Well, I told Kimo the same thing!” I yelled back.

He paused for a second, and his eyes flashed blue at me, beautiful. They crinkled up at the corners, “I thought you said you didn’t talk about me.”

He had me there, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t suppress the smile that started to play on my lips. He stepped towards me with his arms wide but I shied away, missing the porch step and staggering backwards into the rosemary hedge to land on my butt.

To his credit, he didn’t laugh, even though it was probably a pretty funny sight. He sprang forward, taking my hands, and pulled me up into his chest. Then he put his arms around me and I let him, in spite of myself. Why did he have to feel so damn good?

He pressed his face in my hair, “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice muffled. “I don’t wanna fight with you. I missed you so bad… I acted like a jerk… I’m just a jealous guy.”

I sucked in a breath, but nothing came out. I didn’t know what to say. He took my hand and led me over to the bench on the porch, pulling me down to sit next to him.

“Tell me what happened in Paris,” he said solemnly, “Please.”

I bit my lip and looked into his earnest eyes. My first impulse was to keep it all to myself, and I very nearly did. After all, there was no point in upsetting him when there was nothing he could do about it. Then he kissed me, slowly and tenderly, like he really meant it.

His voice was husky, and he spoke with an imploring tone that was irresistible, “Tell me.”

I started out haltingly, telling him about the woman who came to summon us at Shayla’s show, explaining how I could tell she was a hybrid from across the room. Then I told him about the actual meeting, describing the various women in the room along with their questions and my answers. He listened to me intently, and surprisingly, the more I talked the better I felt.

“When you called me from Hawaii, you said something bad happened. Why did you need to leave Paris?”

I met his eyes again, wringing my hands as I told him about Marissa, repeating the warning she gave me.

“Did you tell Evie?” he asked in alarm.

I shook my head no, “Olivia is her good friend… it turns out she’s been advising Evie about me all along.”

“That’s not good,” he said, pulling me a little closer.

“She called me yesterday… and Olivia was right there with her. She told Evie she was sorry she didn’t get a chance to get to know me better… and she’s coming to stay with her in San Francisco,” there was a little hitch in my voice, “And she wants to meet Cruz.” I was scared for them, and I looked at him with worried eyes.

“What are we gonna do about it?” he asked.

I smiled wryly, “We?”

“Yeah, we,” he said, just before he leaned in for another kiss.