Burden of the Soul

13.

The front door opened and closed with a soft click as Demetrius walked in carrying two large pizza boxes.

“Yes!” Oliver was off the couch with a leap and trailed behind Demetrius trying to get at the pizza. Liv got up and walked to the kitchen as well and I noticed my own stomach growling. I hadn’t eaten anything when I got home from school the day before.

I watched as Demetrius flipped open one of the boxes and saw Big Nick’s name. It was a local pizza dive about ten blocks south that Aunt Grace always ordered from whenever she came to town. She loved their pizza. The scent wisping through the air reminded me of her—her horrible eating habits and all.

Liv prepared three plates and brought them to us at the table. “You guys really should eat something,” she said with a smile.

I couldn’t help but like her. She reminded me a lot of Aunt Grace although smaller and far more polite. I took a bite out of the piece and pulled back as the melted cheese formed a rope I had to tear apart.

“How did the ‘Light’ get captured?” I used my fingers to put air quotes around the word “Light”. I still wasn’t sure how much of this I was buying. It certainly didn’t help that I was hearing it all from a practical stranger and hadn’t decided yet whether he was sane or not.

“We know who is responsible, but that’s all we know. We don’t know how he did it. We know it’s kept under the Reservoir, sort of like a water prison. We just don’t know how to get it out. That’s why there are so many Guardians in this area. We’re watching, making sure we know if he attempts to destroy the light in any way. We don’t think it’s possible, but then again, we didn’t think it was possible to capture it either. He’s surprising us at every turn.”

“Who is?”

“Rex Dimun, though he’s gone by a lot of names. He’s responsible for all of this. He’s a fallen soul. Guardians generally keep the fallen in check and remove them before any serious damage is done, but he’s powerful—more powerful than we were prepared for. As he began to awake during his stays here, he began to realize the power he could have over this physical world. He learned how to switch in and out of bodies, so as to never be without a ‘vehicle’. We call it ‘body hopping.’ It’s the equivalent to being immortal in the physical realm, never having to leave.

“The other half of his soul tried as much as they could from the spirit realm to pull him back, but it was useless. So it went into the world to find him, but it ended… badly.”

I could see both Demetrius’ and Oliver’s shoulders slouch. They both froze as Brik said it, creating a moment of silence around them.

“How did it end?” I was hanging on every word now and wanted to understand what Demetrius and Oliver did.

“He killed the other half of his soul,” said Brik, his eyes lowered. “It’s the highest crime anyone can commit. Understand we are the embodiment of our choices. Our souls mature as our choices become more deeply rooted in a foundation of wisdom, or depreciate the deeper it falls into fear, anger or selfishness. Nothing can ever destroy us, it can only change us. Except when a soul, makes the ultimate choice—to kill its other half.”

Without looking up, Oliver took another slice and headed back to the living room and tousled Liv’s hair on his way back to the couch. She looked up and smiled at him, then turned back to her pizza and TV show.

The air was hushed as everyone listened to the story they seemed familiar with, but still affected by.

“It shocked us all. You have to understand, two halves of one soul in the world at the same time is the strongest possible connection in existence. They can come in as different people—siblings, friends, lovers. It’s an intense and passionate relationship no matter what form it takes. They’re called ‘Twin Flames.’ No matter the distance between them, no matter the struggles, they will come together like two magnets pulling at each other, with no relief until they’re back together.”

I understood immediately. My mind was far away then, back in a green field as a light-haired boy reeled toward me in vivid snaps, cutting down the distance between us in seconds.

“There are so many levels to love, and more to discover. Twin Flames help us find those new levels and grow. We just never realized there were also new levels of evil, of hate that could be discovered too. It was a lesson that cut all of us quite deeply. It’s the ultimate betrayal. When it happened and then the light was captured shortly after, we were all scrambling, begging the Masters to help. That’s when you enter significantly into the story. You offered to come into the world and help us.”

“I was trying to help?” My stomach felt warm and full, and my body started to relax, but my mind was freed up now to really race with every word that Brik offered me. I dissected each sentence, each element looking for the logic. There was none, but oddly enough it didn’t deter me. Somehow, this all felt familiar.

“Well, yes… but understand that the ‘I’ you’re referring to is only half of the whole. But yes, for all intents and purposes, you were coming into the world to help,” said Brik, taking the opportunity to tear a bite from the slice he had been holding.

“How?” I saw Dave’s gaze turn to me as I asked it. He had been quiet this whole time and only now did he shift position in his chair away from me, closing off his body from mine.

Brik noticed his movement. I watched as he made a mental note of Dave’s body language before turning back to answer my question.

“That part is a mystery. You never got the chance. I assume the life path you were heading into would have been one that would counter the damage Rex is doing, convince those who now follow him to resign, and prevent other souls from falling, but that’s my speculation. You were stopped before you got in. He tried to take all of you, but he only managed to get away with half.”

“Devin.” The name slipped over my lips before I could pull it back in. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dave shoot a look at me and then slump his shoulders, his elbows in front of him on the table. Again, Brik’s eyes took in every motion Dave made before turning back to me.

“Yes, the Fallen Soul or Renegade Soul, whatever you want to call him, managed to run away with your other half which has grown into the young man Devin. We’ve worked very hard these past seventeen years to keep you away from him, to keep you hidden. It was the charge your mom and aunt accepted as Guardians, your father too by default. Your mother and he were soul mates, another strong connection between souls, a familiarity that comes with centuries spent together, but still not one soul as in Twin Flames.”

The thought of them and their disappearances being my fault made me sick.

“They always knew of the risk, Clara. And you were always more than worth that risk. They cherished and loved you.”

A tear nosedived from my eye and landed on the table, splattering into the shape of a star. My mind fluttered back to something he had said earlier, and hope rose up in my throat.

“You said a soul couldn’t be destroyed, only by their other half. That didn’t happen to them so my parents are okay, right? And Grace? They’re just on the Other Side, or whatever you called it. Can I see them? Can I go there and…”

He cut me off by placing his other hand on top of mine over the table. “Like I said the last time, there are only two places a soul can be that we know of, here or there. There hasn’t been any sign of your mom on either side. I’m so sorry.”

“So… they’ve been destroyed?” The words shook as I pushed them out, but I was relieved to see Brik immediately shaking his head “no” before I lost all composure at the possibility of what I said being true.

“No, if they had been we would know. It leaves a mark on the other side when part of a soul has been destroyed. More and more souls are following him now, body hopping and dooming the other half of themselves to non-existence.”

“So they’re somewhere. We just need to figure out where and how to get them back, am I right?”

“To be completely honest, Clara… and I know this will frustrate you, we’re really looking to you for a lot of answers here,” said Brik as he leaned back in his chair, Dave mirroring the movement to my right.

“You’re kidding, right? I didn’t know any of this would happen or how it happened.” There was a defensive edge to my voice that exposed the strand of guilt I felt. I couldn’t help but think what if this all was my fault. It seemed to be adding up to as much.

“No, you didn’t, but you’re the only one who has any chance of beating him. For all the evil he has chosen to possess, our only hope is that the oldest soul can stop him.”

“And if I can’t? I mean, what if I never remember what I came here to do? And what if I can’t beat him anyways?”

“Then he’ll win, and in the bigger picture everyone else will lose,” he said, giving me a second to let the gravity of that thought sink in.

“We’ve done what we could to trace Rex and buy us time while we waited for you to grow up and remember. Grace was part of that guard chasing him and The Fallen all over the world while the other half of the guard remained here watching over the Reservoir in case he ever came back for it. We always figured it was safest to keep you where you could be protected and help could get to you immediately, which meant keeping you in the city. We figured if he ever came looking for you, we could protect you.”

“Look for me?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking uncomfortable at what was about to come. “See, Grace tracked him to Ireland. As far as we know, he’s there with Devin.”

He lifted his head at the name, and bounced his eyes between Dave and I. “So… if we were looking for him, it’s safe to assume he’s also looking for you. That’s why we’ve needed to hide you from him and Devin.”

“Well, I think someone should get some sleep tonight,” Dave said as he pushed his chair back. “Besides, I think I’ve taken in as much as I can hold for now.”

I looked up at him, trying to read his expression. It seemed tense and aggravated.

“There’s a den on the second floor next to my bedroom. It has a pull out coach. Here, I can go get you set up.” I pushed my chair out from the table to lead the way upstairs, but his hand caught the chair back and kept it from budging.

“Nah, that’s okay. I can manage,” he said, picking up his bag from the floor and heading down the hall.

My eyes followed him until there was no more for me to see, and as I turned back my eyes met with Brik’s. He was staring at me.

“What?” The defensive edge was back in my voice.

“Go easy on him,” he said. “This has got to be difficult for him to deal with.”

“No kidding,” I said snidely.

“I mean more than you realize,” he said. “It has to be hard for him to hear he has pretty significant competition. It’s pretty impossible for a soul mate to win out over a Twin Flame. It’s only ever happened once before, and even that was a different circumstance altogether.”

From behind the counter I watched as Demetrius looked at the back of Brik’s head, a shade of concern in his eyes, but just for a moment. He took a breath in and straightened his shoulders before leaning back against the counter and looking off at nothing in particular.

“Excuse me?” I was beginning to fume a bit. I felt completely exposed in front of them. Demetrius was still listening to us and I could hear Liv on a couch behind me shuffling her weight around. The only person I could be sure hadn’t been let in on the most private aspect of my life at that moment was Oliver, who was happily snoring away.

“You’ll have to forgive us, but we saw no other way. We’re always trying to cover as many bases as we can. And if we can’t be a step ahead of Rex yet, then we at least want to be neck-and-neck with him,” Brik was scrambling a bit now. He seemed sincere.

“Rex found a soul mate for Devin, so we nabbed Dave for you as a distraction. Possibly to make it more difficult for Rex to get to you through Devin, as we can only assume he was intending as well.”

My head was spinning now. Dave Shaw was a soul mate?

Man, that would really piss Trischa off.

“Dave isn’t completely aware of all of this though, and certainly not of our intent for him. He’s only aware of his feelings for you. He was born into the Guardianship, and when we realized the asset we had in him we changed his parents’ assignment to your personal security, so it was an easy transition to give him Hunter detail. We just left out the information he didn’t need.”

So that was Dave’s role in this—another Guardian and an incognito romantic distraction to keep me from my Twin Flame.

Struggling to focus, I pulled my mind back from the floating sensation.

“Why do you think Rex was going to use Devin to get to me?”

“Because it’s the only way he can definitely win. Rex can’t destroy you, but Devin can.”

“So you think Rex wants this Devin guy, the guy who was in my dream, to kill me?”

“Yes.”

He was so confident when he said it, not a single sign of doubt or hesitation showed on his face.

“What makes you so sure?”

I saw Demetrius turn his head to me beyond Brik’s shoulder. As if on the same wave of motion, Brik leaned forward over his elbows, the light over the kitchen table casting deep shadows under his glasses and nose.

“Because we want you to kill Devin.”

I heard the front door open and click shut down the hall and the soft patter of Rose walking into the kitchen, but I never turned. My eyes were still locked with Brik’s across the table from me. Behind me I could hear Liv get up from the couch and come closer while Oliver’s snoring stayed even and undisturbed.

“You’re joking,” I said. It wasn’t a question. I was telling him that he better be joking.

“Do you see any of us laughing, Clara?” The shadows danced above his lips as he coolly stared me down.

“Then you’ve lost your mind.” I was yelling now, pushing myself up from the table and for the first time feeling just how tired my body actually was. I ached all over, and my knee was throbbing. My whole body felt heavy. I couldn’t take anymore tonight.

Brik stood as I stood. “Clara, consider what’s at stake here,” he said.

“Exactly how will killing him make a difference?”

“Just killing him wouldn’t make a difference since his energy would keep circulating, or else one of us would have done it a long time ago.”

Something burned inside of me when he said it. My hands tensed with aggression and I could feel my teeth grind.

“We need you to kill him. The only way to truly destroy energy is for one soul to kill its other half. That energy is gone. Erased. We need you to do that because Rex is strengthened with the power of a Master on his side.”

“So are you.”

He let those words hover in the air between us for a second.

“We’re at war, Clara,” he said. “Please give us credit for at least being honest with you. It’s a consideration I doubt Rex is giving to Devin.”

“Honest with me? You think you’ve been honest with me? Today I found out that I’ve been lied to my whole life. Today I found out that everyone around me, everyone I have ever loved was in on it. Today I lost everything I have ever had. So don’t you tell me to consider what’s at stake for you. No one has been honest with me. No one.”

I stomped past Rose and out of the room. I heard her soft, gentle voice behind me say, “Your bedside manner stinks, Brik.”

She was right. I wanted to be as far away from that man as possible, so I took to the stairs two at a time, my head throbbing as all the emotions I had been holding back over the course of the past few hours flooded up inside of me. But I could feel his arrogance from behind.

“I know you’re angry, Clara, and you have every right to be. But please understand we’re all at risk and Rex is going to lie to Devin and anyone else to get what he wants.”

I was at the top of the stairs then and turned, seeing him and the small gathering of Demetrius, Rose and Liv off to the side.

“Isn’t that what you want me to be, Brik? A puppet? Isn’t that what my family was to you, just a bunch of puppets doing your bidding?”

His shoulders stiffened at the accusation. His face and tone became fierce.

“I have never taken away anyone’s ability to choose. You are not the only one who lost people you love today, Clara,” he said turning to hide the fact his voice cracked at the end.

“But I am the only one who lost everything else. Come and find me when your world crumbles, and then we’ll talk.” I turned quickly, the ends of my hair completing a full revolution, and went into my room. I slammed the door behind me and fell onto my bed, pulling at the loose, scattered covers. My back was heaving and the tears came out with a mind of their own, clenching at the back of my throat making me gasp for air between wails.

After a few minutes of letting the pain fall out onto my bed, breathing came easier and the tears no longer stung at my swollen eyes. That’s when I heard the bedroom door click open and shut quietly.