Burden of the Soul

12.

Dave stood next to me as the others led the way. His hand slipped into mine as we all waited for a chance to cross through traffic. His palm was cold. The sudden touch took me by surprise and I turned to see him looking at me with a comforting smile, his eyes reassuring me everything was going to be okay.

I looked around as we walked and saw the bar code tattoos on the inside of each of their left arms, similar to the ones I had seen on Mom or Aunt Grace, yet a little different, each one just a bit unique.

Down the street Brik stopped in front of a gray brownstone. “Dave, why don’t you go grab a change of clothes and whatever you need for the night. Your parents would have a few choice words for us if we let you out of our sight right now.”

Dave looked at me as if he was asking for my permission or endorsement of this idea.

“Dave, it wasn’t a suggestion. We’re working with limited time here.” Brik’s eyebrows raised above the rims of his glasses as he said it and his arm swung up motioning to Dave’s front door.

Dave released my hand and I immediately wanted it back. I noticed that Brik’s eyes had shot down to witness our hands parting and mine traveling after Dave’s as if to ask it not to go. Dave took a few steps up to the door and then stopped when he realized Demetrius was following him.

“Lets give the kid a break, Demetrius,” said Brik, curving one eyebrow up.

“I’ll go.” Oliver’s voice was enthusiastic and cheerful. It held a spotlight to my mood, but I had an excuse to be moody all things considered.

Oliver followed Dave through the door, which was left open behind them. Their shadows ascended the steps and disappeared into darkness. Brik smiled as he watched me watching Dave. The speculation made me feel uncomfortable.

“You’re really pretty, ya know?” It was Liv. She was leaning against a thin seedling to my left, eyeing me with a smile.

“Liv,” Brik scolded with a slight shake of his head.

“What? It’s just weird to see her so young, that’s all.”

“She’s been younger, Liv,” said Rose from behind. The fact made Liv turn to me.

“It’s true. I used to be younger.” My tone wasn’t joking, but being facetious took the sting off of my grief.

“I mean, I know that, but it’s still weird. You know what I mean.” She was speaking to Brik when she said it.

“I do,” he retorted, turning his head back up to the open door at the top of the stoop.

She turned her cheerful gaze back to me and stood upright on the sidewalk, relieving the sagging seedling. “You don’t know what I mean, but you will. It’s kinda funny if you…”

“Liv.” All three of them said her name at the same time, stopping her tongue in its tracks.

“What did I do?” Her shoulders shrugged at the reprimand.

“I recognize you,” I said to Liv. “From the roof that day.”

“Oh, right. We couldn’t have you jumping off or something. You’re far too important to…”

“Liv. Enough,” Brik barked at her, which shut her up for good it seemed.

We all stood in silence watching the shadows behind the open door for another minute before both Dave and Oliver came out, Dave now carrying a bag he was zipping up while crossing the threshold. He closed and locked the door then stuffed his house keys into one of the smaller pockets, then returned to his spot next to me.

Brik continued along the sidewalk, all of us following at an even pace. Liv’s hand reached out to the small of my back and she leaned in close to me without breaking a stride. “By the way, happy birthday.”

Was she serious? I was all for bubbly optimism on an average day, but this wasn’t an average day.

“It wasn’t,” I said.

“Oh, right. Sorry. Sometimes I say the wrong thing.”

When we reached my front door, Brik went up the steps while pulling a key off the key ring he had yanked from his pant’s pocket.

“Oliver, take care of the car for me.” He tossed the key through the air toward Oliver, but a long arm from behind him snapped the key up.

“Sorry, kid. But your parallel parking isn’t worth a nickel.” Demetrius patted Oliver on the shoulder with two loud thuds and went off to the double parked, black sedan.

Brik flipped through the remaining keys on his ring, found the one he was looking for and unlocked the front door, letting the door coast open and motioned for us to walk in ahead of him. Liv took off first up the steps walking through the door, then Dave and myself with Rose and Oliver following behind. I heard the slow beeping from behind the door and went to make my way to punch in the code, but Brik had already beaten me to it. He punched in the numbers and the beeping stopped.

I glared at him. “I didn’t realize my alarm code was public information.”

“It’s not only your alarm,” he said on his way into the kitchen.

“I’m starving,” said Oliver as he walked out from behind me and took to the hallway at a gallop. I heard crinkling a moment after he disappeared. “Ah, man. Who ate all the Cheetos?”

Everyone followed, but I stayed for a moment taking in how perfect everything looked. The pictures hung on the wall as they always had. The stairs looked completely untouched. It was like nothing had even happened, but I knew it had. My mind was able to wrap around it with a bit more ease than last time, but only because there had been a last time. I didn’t allow myself to fall into the comatose state of shock I had a year ago. I took a deep breath recollecting myself and went to the kitchen toward the sounds of cupboards opening and channels flipping.

“You left the TV on,” said Liv.

“Yeah, I was a little busy,” I said as I slumped into a chair at the table. The group of strangers making themselves at home in my house at 1 am was beyond absurd.

Dave took a seat in the other chair with his body turned slightly so he was open to me. We shared a quick glance and he smiled letting his hand rest on my shoulder. He was being such a trooper, considering he was essentially being held prisoner by a bunch of strangers who seemingly knew his parents.

“There is seriously nothing worth eating in this house. Someone call Demetrius and tell him to bring back a pizza or something,” said Oliver. He gave up on the kitchen and went to the living room. He snatched the remote out of Liv’s hands and changed the channel on her before plopping down onto the opposite couch.

“Hey!” Her yelp was shrill, but she gave in with little fight. I remembered the episode too. It hadn’t been worth watching the first time, let alone a second.

“I don’t know why you’re getting comfortable, Ollie. You have first shift tonight.” Brik had settled on water and an apple.

“Oh come on, Brik,” Oliver whined, his head scrolling up over the couch to look at him. “I had the perimeter all day.”

“It’s fine, I’ll take the first shift,” said Rose, still looming in the doorway, her silver hair shining under the light of the hall.

“Thanks, Rose. I owe ya.” Oliver was already turned back to the TV before he had finished the sentence.

This was all too casual. A couple days ago it would have been a welcomed change, to have people buzzing around the house rather than Dad and I moving silently about our business, being careful not to bump into one another. But now, in this context, it was too overwhelming. I rested my elbows on the table in front of me and let out a deep sigh.

Brik sat across from me, taking a swig of his water and biting a chunk out of the apple.

“So,” he said still chewing. “Why don’t you start. Grace had filled me in about today with your dream, and that this sort of thing has happened before. I am a bit disappointed in you that you’re only telling us about this now.”

“I don’t even know you,” I said with bite to my voice.

“Just tell me what happened,” he said.

“After you,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Clara, this isn’t a game. I need information from you about what happened to Grace and your father in order to fully explain to you what’s happening.”

“You didn’t have any answers for us the last time, so why should now be any different?”

His eyes paused measuring mine and then scanned down to my right wrist. The key dangled freely below my elbow.

“Alright, what do you want to know?” He conceded and leaned back in his chair preparing himself for a long night.

“Start at the beginning,” I said, but that made him chuckle.

“I told you before that you’re half of the oldest soul, so you would be better fit to start from the beginning than I.” He was proud of his joke. Not a single muscle in my face moved and I thickened the glare I shot at him. He cleared his throat and adjusted himself in the chair.

“Reality as you know it is only a piece of a much larger whole. Yes, you’re your body, which lives in your house, which is in New York City, which is in a state, which is in a country, which is part of a planet, and so on. Humans are still discovering beyond the ‘so on’ part. It exists, but knowledge of it or even understanding it is a work in progress.

“Your body is the vehicle for your soul, a unique source of energy. This physical reality you know isn’t the only realm in which your soul can maneuver and live. This physical world is, …well, I guess you could call it a sort of training grounds or boot camp.

“For millennia, this is where souls come to learn, to elevate themselves to grow closer to peace. The Buddhists call it Nirvana. Christians call it Heaven. Hindus call it Brahma. Muslims call it Jannah. For all the focus on where they disagree, they often forget to pay tribute to the things they agree on. It’s all the same thing, just with different names.

“Every time your soul is born into the physical world, you essentially forget everything. Sorta like soul amnesia. It’s like you’re sleep walking, not aware of the full set of tools you have at your disposal. You’re unaware of the truths that are already rooted deeply in you. The goal is to ‘awake’ during your physical life. Few have ever achieved it, and once they do they ascend.”

“This all sounds like a lot of hocus pocus,” I said, more and more skeptical of him.

“That’s ironic coming from you,” he said. “You’re one of the ascended.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Trust me, it’s difficult for me to believe it too… given that I’ve actually met you now and you’re not exactly who I would pick for a savior.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. All the religious and spiritual talk made me uncomfortable. It was over my head and I ony had basic knowledge at best on the subject. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dave sitting still, seemingly engrossed with the conversation. It kinda surprised me that he was still there, sitting next to me, as if he fit into the greater scheme somehow.

“So I’m supposed to be one of these ascended people?”

“Ascended souls, yes. You’re the oldest.”

“Before you said I was half of it,” I corrected.

“That’s also true. Usually a soul is in halves—one comes into the physical world and one stays on the Other Side to help guide it and protect it. Sometimes the two halves come into the world together as one person. To be able to do that, the soul must be older, wiser… able to navigate its way without the help from behind the curtain. At that point, the reconciled soul can ascend, or move on to whatever comes next. Your soul split, leaving two halves.”

“That sucks.”

“Yes, it sucks for everyone. You were coming in to help us with the fight. Then you got cut in half, for lack of a better term. So back it was back to soul amnesia for you. No offense, but you haven’t really been much help yet. The split took away half of your resources and all of your awareness of what’s going on.

“This war has been going on for a long time. Guardians, like us, have been around in some form or another since the beginning, keeping an eye on things and ensuring the safety of souls in transit. But we’ve never encountered anything like this in history, a fight to this degree. If we step back and do nothing, the scales of balance will tilt so completely the world will be led down a destructive path that will eventually end the cycle.”

“The cycle?”

“Of life, of birth, of death, of growth… the world as we know it will be destroyed and everything in it, which includes souls. The universe is built with its own failsafe system. It’s pretty amazing, actually. If humanity as a whole continues down this path, the universe will be forced to hit the restart button.”

“Where’s Elijah Wood when you need him, right?” I turned to see Oliver glowing with pride, preparing for his punchline. “I mean, how many times has that dude saved the world from annihilation?”

“Part of the problem is the light, which you’ve come to know quite intimately,” said Brik, bringing our attention back to the conversation at hand.

“The light, as we call it, is sort of a thread that keeps the souls connected while they’re here in separate bodies,” Brik continued. “It’s a helper, a safety net… a little bit of the soul’s realm here for souls to tap into and recharge. The problem is, it’s been captured and contained. It can’t be destroyed, so it still exists. But apparently it can be held prisoner.”

“The Reservoir,” I said through a breath. My mind was starting to piece together bits of old hushed conversations, or stories my mother told me.

“Yes, the Reservoir. We never anticipated the light could be used as a weapon against us,” said Brik.

“You mean against me.”