A Symphony of Cicadas

Twenty-four



I was coming to the end of my time here on earth. It seemed like so long ago that I had entered this divide between Heaven and Earth, and it made me think back to that very first day when I had been knocked from my body and found myself lost and alone in a forest filled with both wonder and fright. And to think, I’d had no idea before it happened that I was taking my last breaths among the living.

When a moment is so tremendous it knocks the familiar part of the world off balance, you’d think there would be some sort of clue before it happened. Maybe just a hint, or even a premonition that would have allowed me to at least hold my breath until the moment had passed and I could find my footing once again.

But life doesn’t work that way.

Life is often unfair. Sometimes things have to hurt, sometimes they’re even unbearable, and sometimes the pain is necessary.

I learned this lesson the hard way. But I learned much more than just that.

Bad things can happen to anyone. Or rather, things happened that I wouldn’t have chosen for myself. When it came down to it, any notion that I’d had absolute control during the course of my life was but a comforting thought covering a cloud of absurdity. I was merely a miniscule blip on a very large course of time that had only just begun.

Sure, I’d been able to mold my path in the general direction of my choice. I took half-blind leaps of faith, and conjured up my very best intentions in a five-year plan in which I’d banked all my hopes and dreams. But as it was, even my most fervent efforts at success were thrown off-course by someone else who had the same freedom of choice that I did. Because of this, I was cast into the Bermuda Triangle of Life After Death, leaving me in uncharted seas where my only chance of survival was to tread water until I became familiar with my surroundings.

But perhaps that was supposed to be the plan all along.

I’d learned so much about myself since the day I had died, and I’d learned so much about life and love. Once I finally stopped fighting the current and trusted in the mercy of the waves, the tempests, and the creatures that lurked at my feet, the storm began to calm and revealed a really beautiful ocean. It was only when I abandoned control that I was able to discover pure freedom.

In my death, I discovered what it was like to truly live.