Besides being mean, what she said didn’t even make any sense. Toni isn’t wearing a binder this weekend, and aside from the now permanently affixed Red Sox baseball cap, T really doesn’t look any different than before.
Toni said, “I’m hoping the neighbors will think you’ve taken in a stray,” and it went downhill from there. Toni and Mrs. Fasseau will look for any excuse to get in an argument. Soon they were both yelling so loud, Consuela had to go into the dining room to roll the pie crusts.
It’ll be okay after tonight, though. Sometime in the next hour, Toni will talk to Audrey. Audrey will be cool about everything, and then Toni will calm down.
It’s going to be an awesome weekend. Toni and I will spend as much time together as we possibly can. Things will get back to normal for both of us. And for us, us.
“Cheating is basically the worst thing ever,” Toni says.
“I know,” I say. “I totally, completely agree with you on that. Steven is a total jerkface for cheating. It’s just—maybe I’m a crazy romantic, but I also think that forgiveness is basically the best thing ever.”
“I know,” Toni says, sighing. “You’re right. You’re always right about this stuff.”
I sit back in my seat, surprised. I don’t remember the last time Toni said I was right about something.
“Maybe when we come back for Christmas we can try to hang out with them together a little bit,” I say. “Maybe see if you can forgive Steven, too.”
“I won’t have to,” Toni says. “They’ll be broken up again by then.”
Toni’s worked up. It’s only natural. I should try to do something about it, though. It won’t be good if Toni’s still in this mood when we talk to Audrey.
“Oh, come on,” I say. “That’s what people told us when we started college, remember? That we’d be broken up by Thanksgiving?”
“People are stupid,” Toni says with a grunt.
We’re at a stoplight. There’s got to be another way to put Toni in a better mood.
“What did you think of that outfit Renee had on?” I try to sound light, teasing. “Her top was more of a bra than a shirt. Do you think I could pull off that look?”
“Your light’s green,” Toni says.
Wow. Okay. I pull through the intersection and pretend that didn’t faze me.
“Are you nervous?” I finally ask.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” I try to think of something else to say. Talking to Toni isn’t supposed to be this hard. “Can you believe how tan Marie got? I mean, I know she goes to college in Florida, but what does she do, spend every day on the beach? Do you think classes are optional there or something?”
“Can you pull over?”
“What? Oh, uh, sure.”
We’ve just turned into Toni’s McMansion neighborhood. There’s a grove of trees inside the front gates. I pull the car in under them, away from the streetlights. I don’t know if Toni just wants to take a breather or is about to have a full-on meltdown, but either way, privacy will be good.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“I’m sorry,” Toni says.
“For what?”
Toni shrugs. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter now. I just have really stupid ideas sometimes.”
“No, you don’t. Telling Audrey’s a good idea. I know it’s scary, but—”
“That’s not what I mean.” Toni pinches the bridge of T’s nose. “Chris was right. I was being an idiot. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Chris? About what? I didn’t even see you talk to him tonight. Was there something—”
“Can you come over here?”
I unbuckle my seat belt and climb over until I’m perched on the edge of Toni’s seat. We’re in my mom’s ancient SUV, and it doesn’t have the easiest setup for cuddling, but I put my arms around Toni anyway.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. I smooth Toni’s hair back and kiss T’s earlobe.
Toni kisses me, hard, and I forget about the rest of it.
We move into the backseat, because the front doesn’t have tinted windows, and Toni always thinks about these things. I don’t. I can’t. I’m too caught up in the way this feels. Toni’s hands on me, our lips moving together. Our bodies that know every rhythm of each other.
“I love you,” I say.
Toni doesn’t answer. I wish I hadn’t said it in the first place.
I close my eyes and move in for another kiss and stop thinking altogether.
*
Toni’s parents go to bed early, so when we get to the house, most of the lights are out. Toni has managed to be back in town for twelve hours without seeing Mr. and Mrs. Fasseau for more than five minutes at a time. I don’t know how they can keep this up all weekend, especially with Thanksgiving tomorrow, but if any family can pull it off it’s this one.
I knock on Audrey’s bedroom door a couple of minutes later. She’s got an Amy Winehouse song playing, which makes me smile. I haven’t seen Audrey since August, so when she opens the door, for a second I forget why we’re there and I give her a happy hug. Then Toni coughs behind me, and I remember I promised to kick off this conversation.