My office, the workout room, the shower …
I remembered sitting it on the vanity while I brushed my teeth, fighting myself on whether to call Jada or not the night before. I walked towards the bathroom as it went off again.
I walked in and it was sitting right where I had left it. I looked at the screen and swiped it on.
“What’s up, Nick?”
“Hey, Cane. I have some good news for you, for once.”
I stilled. “I could use some good news right about now.”
“My sources tell me that Simon is hiding out in Casa Grande. There’s a pickup spot there for the cartel he works for. The police are watching it closely, but they can’t go in there guns blazing without a warrant and, unfortunately, they don’t have probable cause.”
“So we wait?”
“We wait. But at least we have somewhere to start.”
I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit: bags under my eyes, the color of my face dull.
“Let me know if you hear anything else. He’s still around. The call to Jada proves that.”
“I know. We will get him. Just hold tight.”
Jab, cross, hook.
Jab, cross, hook.
Jab, cross, hook, uppercut.
I hit the bag over and over again as Powerman 5000 blared through my phone. I had to get some of the aggression out of my system so I could settle down.
It had been a long fucking day.
I got nothing done. I couldn’t focus on anything. I went from being insanely pissed off that Simon wasn’t found, to being sadder than I ever imagined that Jada wasn’t around, to angrier than hell that I couldn’t do anything to fix any of it.
I glanced at the clock.
2:19 AM
Jab, cross, hook.
Jab, cross, hook, uppercut.
I had been at it for a couple of hours and felt no better than I had before. The clarity, the peace I normally found in the gym was out of reach.
I squared up again and started throwing right, left, right when the music cut out and a ringtone took its place.
I tossed off my gloves and grabbed my phone off the dock.
“What’s up?”
“Cane. It’s Nick …”
JADA
I stepped out of the Escalade in front of Heather’s house the next afternoon following a goodbye brunch with Kari and Max. This was the moment I had been dreading more than anything. I watched them get out of the front seats and join me at the back of the vehicle.
“Are you going to be okay? No, don’t even answer that. I know you are going to be okay,” Kari said, blinking back the tears forming in her eyes.
“I’m going to be fine.” I sounded much more confident about that than I felt. Just thinking about the two constants in my life—the two people that had been there for me no matter what—leaving me and going back to Arizona destroyed me.
But I couldn’t go back yet … if I could at all.
I just wasn’t sure which way was up. Or if up was even a viable option.
“Come here,” Max said, pulling me into a tight embrace. “If you need anything, anything at all, you call me. I’ll figure it out.” He pulled me in tighter. “Cane is a handful. Just remember that everything he does is because he loves you, all right?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, sniffling.
His shoulders rose and dropped, a smirk on his face.
“Thank you for everything.” I pulled back from him and smiled. “Take care of my sister, okay?”
“Don’t worry about that.”
I turned to Kari, hugging my sister goodbye. Neither of us could find the words to express what we were feeling, but we both knew the other understood. “So, call me when you make it home. Your flight leaves first thing in the morning, right?” I asked, wiping my face dry with the back of my hands.
“Yeah, at ten, I think,” Kari said, looking at Max for confirmation; he shook his head.
“Okay. Well, let’s not delay the inevitable and make this hurt more than it’s going to,” I said, walking backwards towards the house. “I will see you guys soon.”
I watched as they got into the Escalade. Max drove and Kari blew kisses out of the window as they pulled out onto the street. They pulled farther and farther away and a piece of my heart went with them.
I had never felt so alone in every way.
Taking a deep breath and summoning all the strength I could muster, I put on my bravest face and marched back inside.
“I’m back!” I called as I walked through the front door.
“I’m in the kitchen,” Heather shouted back as I made my way through the living room. “Where in the world did you go? I was getting ready to call someone to go find you.”
“You mean you wouldn’t come look for me?” I asked, laughing.
“Hell, no! If you had gotten kidnapped, I wasn’t putting myself out there to be a victim, too!”
“Nice,” I said. “Anyway, we had brunch and then did a little sightseeing. I’m pretty much worn out. I think I’m going to hop in the shower and go to bed.”
Heather looked alarmed.