“I know that’s a lie, but I’m going to take it as a good sign that you care enough to lie,” Kari smiled.
“You can take that for whatever you want to.” I leaned back against my chair, getting situated so I didn’t bother the old lady on my right.
“Chicago seems like a fun place,” Kari said thoughtfully. “We will just think of this like a mini vacation.”
“I suppose so.” I sighed sadly, knowing this was not going to be a vacation of any sort. “You know, Chicago is where I wanted to be originally after my divorce. It’s kind of bizarre that I’m ending up there now, don’t you think?” I paused, thinking about what I had just said. “There’s that saying, ‘For every door that closes, another opens.’ Mom used to say that. Do you remember?”
Kari nodded.
“I feel like a door in my life may be closing. I’ve worried about it for a while, but sitting here on this plane, heading for Illinois, it just seems very … real.” I closed my eyes for a second, absorbing the words I had just spoken.
“I’m grateful for this door opening, Kari. I have options and a lot of people don’t. But I just really liked the door that closed, you know?”
“Yeah,” Kari said, looking at me warily. “I’m really not liking how you’re talking right now.”
I shrugged sadly. “I can’t be afraid to lose something that may not be meant to be.”
“I’m calling bullshit on that.” Kari reached over the walkway and grabbed my hand. “For the record, although I’d like to chop his balls off right now, I don’t think necessarily that any door is closed right now. Just leave that one cracked a little, okay?”
My heart clinched.
I loved Cane. There was zero doubt about that. But with everything that happened, I wasn’t sure that I could trust him. He didn’t tell me about Simon and he was pulling away before any of that started. Well, before I thought it had started. He had lied so much about that, I wasn’t even sure when it began. And then Ashley was in his office.
Had she been calling him? Did she have something to do with his retraction from me? Or was his pulling away really about the Simon thing and work, like he said? Was I in the beginning stages of the same thing I was in with Decker?
I began to feel overwhelmed and a bit claustrophobic as the last people boarding the plane took their seats.
I had a vision of Cane running on to the plane and asking me to stay and as the doors began to close, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I was leaving him behind in harm’s way.
My chest began to squeeze and I forced air in and out of my lungs.
In. Out. In. Out.
He has to be okay. He just has to be.
I blew out a breath hastily, shaking my head. I needed to stay calm. Panicking wasn’t going to help anything, but it was easier said than done.
The loudspeaker buzzed and the flight attendant went through the rules and safety regulations and I was reminded that I hadn’t turned off my phone. I rummaged through my carry-on until I found it at the bottom and touched the screen to turn it off.
The screen lit as it unlocked and I saw a message staring back at me.
Cane: I love you.
My eyes filled with tears as Cane’s name sat on my screen.
Me: Be safe, please. <3
Cane: <3
I smiled at his emoji before turning my phone off, burying my head in a pillow, and silently crying myself to sleep.
“I love Escalades!” Kari exclaimed as we walked to our rental car a few hours later. “I’ll drive.”
“Yeah. No,” Max said sternly.
“What?! I let you come on this trip. The least you can do is let me drive!” Kari whined.
Max raised his eyebrows at Kari, giving her a no-nonsense look. “You didn’t let me do anything, sweetheart. You had no choice.”
“That’s what you think,” Kari said, rolling her eyes.
I couldn’t help but laugh at their banter.
We piled into the SUV and Max took the wheel with only a sigh from Kari. I took the backseat, needing a little space of my own for the ride to Heather’s.
I took out my cell to text Heather and was disappointed that there were no additional text messages from Cane. I didn’t know whether to send him a message or not, unsure of what he was dealing with. I scrolled past his name and clicked my friend’s instead.
Me: Just landed! Be there in a few. Have wine.
Heather: LOL! I’m excited to see you, Jada! And I always have wine! ;)
“No! Absolutely not,” Kari said as I looked up to see her changing the radio station. “I let you come. I let you drive. I will not let you pick the radio station. I can’t even begin to take Miranda Lambert right now.”
I laughed as Kari gave Max a look and switched through the stations until she found a nineties pop station and Britney Spears blared through the speakers.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Max grumbled. Kari leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
“You know you love it!”
“I love Miranda. Not Britney.”