‘Hey!’ He grabs my arm. ‘Whoever they were, they’re long gone. We need to go back in.’ He nods at the front door where Sandrine is standing in the doorway looking petrified. ‘We’re freaking her out, Jess, and all of this is going to wake up James. Let’s just go back in, OK?’
He slips his hand into mine, and gently starts to lead me away as I look desperately over my shoulder up the now completely empty and eerily still street.
Chapter Fifteen
‘So tell me again what this person looked like?’
‘I don’t remember.’ Sandrine is looking worriedly between me and Ed, all three of us stood in the kitchen, her leaning right up against the kitchen units as if she’d like to get further away from us, but can’t.
‘You’re not in trouble, Sandrine, it’s OK,’ Ed reassures her. ‘We just want to make sure we know everything.’
‘Did they have glasses? Do you think it could have been a woman?’ I interrupt.
‘It was dark. I’m sorry, Jessica. I think maybe glasses, yes, but it was a big cover over their head. It was fast and I wasn’t sure what was happening.’
‘It’s OK, Sandrine, we understand.’ Ed offers her a kitchen chair and sits down opposite her. ‘I don’t know if you have this in France, but in this country we have people that go and visit houses to talk about God. They give out leaflets—’
Sandrine looks at him blankly.
‘Sorry, um, they give people pictures of their churches and some writing about how they love God. I think this is what this person was doing, that’s all.’
‘But Sandrine said they were waiting outside the house,’ I cut in.
‘Jess, please!’ Ed gives me a look. ‘Everything is OK, Sandrine. I can see it was not nice for someone to come out of the dark at you like that, but I don’t think they meant to scare you.’
I look at her – tiny and looking much younger than her eighteen years, trying to swallow down her fear – and get a sudden picture in my mind of Ed and I stood in front of her weeping mother, her father saying ‘but why didn’t you do something? She told you someone was following her!’
‘I don’t want you to go to your friend’s house now though, Sandrine,’ I say quickly and force myself to smile. ‘It’s late. Just stay here.’
‘OK, Jessica.’ She unwinds her scarf. ‘I don’t want to go now anyway.’
‘I understand completely. Do you want to go up and watch some TV in your room, or sit in the living room? Whatever you want. I’ll make you a hot chocolate?’ I walk round the table, put my arm round her and just for a moment she rests against me. She’s so fragile and light – I can feel her shoulder bone – it’s like touching a bird.
‘Thank you,’ she whispers. ‘That would be nice.’
She closes her eyes with relief, just for a moment, then opens them quickly and says: ‘I think I will also go and speak to my mother, if that’s OK?’
‘Of course.’ I let my arm fall away, and she stands up. ‘Come and get us if you want us to talk to her and explain what happened.’
‘Thank you.’ She tries to smile, but leaves the room, head down.
‘You’ll do that then, will you?’ Ed says, once we’re on our own. ‘My French isn’t up to a rundown of what just happened. I didn’t know yours was either, to be honest?’
‘You know it’s not.’ I sit down heavily at the table and put my head in my hands. ‘Do you think we ought to call the police?’
Ed looks astonished. ‘And tell them what?’
‘Did you not hear what I said to you earlier? That’s almost exactly what that stranger said to me the morning Beth fell. A woman on a bicycle, in glasses.’
Ed looks at me steadily. ‘I get why it’s making you react this way, but Sandrine didn’t actually say she was wearing glasses, or even that it was a “her”. You suggested that. Jess, you go past women on bikes every day of your life, and it doesn’t register, right?’
‘Yes, of course, but that’s because they don’t all make a point of coming up to me or someone I know, and announcing God loves me, or them.’
‘I’m coming to that. Like I said, my first assumption is that this person was probably a Jehovah’s Witness. In a minute I’ll go next door and ask one of the neighbours if they visited them. I expect they were coming to knock on our door – which is why they were right outside – Sandrine appeared, they followed her to talk to her, then realised she’d freaked out and rode off.’
‘Ed, one of the things I was never able to explain the morning Beth died was that woman who came up to me in the street: who she was, or why she said what she did. It was something I worked really hard to let go of in counselling. You know that. I have tried to come to terms with the fact that it was an unrelated event, just a random occurrence. So imagine how it feels to have it happen again, tonight?’
‘You honestly feel someone going up to Sandrine and saying something similar, seventeen years later, is connected? You think this person is some sort of angel of death?’ he speaks seriously, no hint of sarcasm. He’s really asking me.
I exhale. ‘I think a stranger came up to me and said my daughter needed to be told that God loved her, hours before she died in a freak accident, and now in uncannily similar circumstances, someone has approached Sandrine and said the same thing. Yes, I’m frightened.’
‘Frightened that something bad is now going to happen to Sandrine?’
‘Just frightened full stop.’
‘OK. Let’s go next door and ask one of the neighbours if they saw or spoke to anyone. I don’t think it’s too late to go round. What time is it?’
‘It is—’ I grab my phone to check. ‘Hang on—’ I touch the screen quickly. ‘I just called Natalia by mistake. That’s weird.’ I peer at the phone, and tap it again, going to the recent calls. ‘Outgoing, thirty minutes? I’ve been on the line to her for half an hour? She was the last person I called much earlier, but my phone has been locked. I couldn’t have dialled again by mistake.’
‘You were talking about her before. Are you sure you didn’t accidentally press Siri and it dialled her when you said her name? It doesn’t need to be unlocked for that to happen.’
‘Oh God.’ I go white. ‘Do you think she heard everything I said? I should call her.’ I hold the phone up to my ear, but then instantly hang up again. ‘Actually, what am I doing? We need to sort out what just happened.’ I look at Ed in disbelief. ‘I can’t think straight.’
‘You’re right, let’s focus on one thing at a time. I’ll go next door. Are you able to listen for James?’
I stand up. ‘Yes, but if you hang on, I’ll come and—’ Only, as I get to my feet, the phone starts to buzz in my hand. ‘Oh God, it’s Natalia calling back. I’d better pick up. You go while I speak to her.’
He leaves the room.
I take a deep breath and answer. ‘Hello?’
‘Hi,’ Natalia replies. ‘You rang, again?’
‘Yes, just to say I’m sorry. I called earlier by mistake and I think I might have left you a long, rambling message of rubbish. Just—’
‘Jessica, I heard it. I heard what you said about me. I picked up when you called. You were talking to Ed and I tried to shout hello, but you just carried on talking.’
I close my eyes and feel the hot shame of embarrassment wash over me.
‘I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall in someone else’s house, to listen in and find out what they actually think of me. I didn’t imagine for one minute it would be such an unpleasant experience.’ I can hear the hurt in her voice.
‘I’m so sorry, Natalia. Obviously I didn’t mean for you to be party to what I said. I was a little upset earlier, and—’
‘Yes, I get now why I touched a nerve. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell anyone about your past, Susie.’
I flush. ‘Natalia, there are good reasons for my not having been open about what I did a long time ago, but for the record, I didn’t know the man I had an affair with was married. I—’
‘Jess, you don’t owe me an explanation. Everyone is entitled to privacy. What was upsetting, was the way I heard you speak about me. I get that I wasn’t supposed to hear it, but I did. And I can’t pretend that I haven’t. I’m going to go now. All the best.’ And then she’s gone.