‘Ask Jess for a hot water bottle,’ Justin advised, sounding like he always did, as near normal as it was possible to be in the abnormal shit-fest their lives had become. ‘Take a couple of paracetamol and curl up under the duvet for a while.’
‘I will,’ Sophie said, thinking that a truckload of paracetamol might be the only thing that would make this pain go away. ‘So, why the call?’ she asked him, bracing herself for bad news – which it would be, whatever he said. If he didn’t tell her, he’d be lying, leaving her with the uncertainty of when the bomb would drop. And if he told her… Sophie tucked her knees closer to her chest. She didn’t think she could bear it.
‘I just wanted to let you know your mum’s on her way over,’ Justin said, causing her to immediately uncoil.
‘Why?’ she asked apprehensively. ‘I mean, why’s she coming here now? I’ve only just got here.’
Justin hesitated. ‘There’s been a problem… at home,’ he said carefully.
Sophie almost laughed. That was one way of describing a total fucking catastrophe, she supposed. ‘What kind of problem?’ she asked warily, praying that if he couldn’t tell her the whole truth, he wouldn’t give her a load of bullshit. He’d be struggling with it as much as she was, after all. His pride would be badly bruised this time. His heart pulverised, all thanks the woman who had vowed to stay faithful to him. Cow.
‘A break-in,’ Justin supplied, after a pause. ‘Nothing major taken,’ he added quickly, obviously trying to reassure her. ‘Some jewellery: your mum’s gold locket, a few other things. No items of yours, as far as we can see. I think your mum will feel safer there with you and Jess though.’
‘A break-in?’ Sophie felt goosebumps prickle her skin. ‘But… when?’ she asked, disbelieving. How? How did this shit just keep happening?
‘While we were out. At the funeral.’
It took a second for Sophie to digest. While we were saying goodbye to Luke, someone had… Tears springing to eyes, she glanced upwards.
‘Okay, Pumpkin?’ Justin asked softly, which only made it worse.
‘Yes,’ Sophie blurted quickly. She couldn’t cry. All the hurt stuffed inside her would come tumbling out if she did. She couldn’t talk to him either. How could she? From him, at least, she wanted honesty. She didn’t want to be pacified. She wanted the truth. The unedited, ugly truth.
‘You didn’t notice anything missing or moved in your room, did you, Sophie?’ Justin asked her.
Shaking her head, Sophie tried to focus. She hadn’t. But then, she’d been in such a state of shock that she probably wouldn’t have noticed if Santa Claus plus his reindeer had dropped down the chimney. ‘No,’ she said. ‘What about you? Are you coming here too?’ She hoped her broaching of the subject sounded innocuous.
‘I, er…’
Sophie tried to suppress her growing sense of dread as Justin searched for an answer.
‘No,’ he said, eventually, over a long intake of breath. ‘I’ll, er, be staying in a hotel, just for a while. I… have a work trip, a conference,’ he went on falteringly. Lying badly.
And Sophie’s heart splintered. ‘Right,’ she choked, feeling the knot in her stomach tighten into a fist. ‘I have to go. Dinner’s ready. I’ll see you… whenever.’
Twenty-Three
ALICIA
Alicia gazed out of the taxi window, seeing nothing of the normality going on around her, her mind instead full of disjointed snapshots of her life: Justin in the delivery room, nestling Sophie gently in his arms, swearing to his new baby girl that he would die to protect her.
His awe when he’d watched Sophie take her first steps. His fierce sense of pride as she’d accomplished each achievement in her life, big or small. The adoration that shone from his eyes whenever he quietly listened to her singing. The same adoration she’d seen in his eyes for Lucas, as he’d watched his baby boy grow.
The tortured, terrifying heartbreak when he’d realised he couldn’t save him. Alicia would never forget that look in his eyes.
The thunderous look, bordering on hatred, she’d seen when Paul had followed her into the house. She would take that memory to her grave.
He knew – at least part of it. He would be beyond devastated, and she didn’t dare hope he could ever forgive her, but if he ever found out about Sophie, the possibility she might not be his, it would kill him. At least Paul couldn’t disclose that to him, though. He couldn’t reveal what he didn’t know. She’d never told him about her pregnancy. For Justin’s sake, she’d sworn she never would.
Realising they’d arrived at Jessica’s, Alicia paid the taxi off and climbed tiredly out. She needed to be with Sophie. To hold her close and never let her go. To try somehow to stop the hurt, the immeasurable pain her daughter would be going through. She had no idea how she could, apart from simply being there for her. She knew she hadn’t been, through all of this. And now some heartless animal had invaded their home. Sophie would be terrified by that knowledge.
She’d barely taken a step when a car drew up as the taxi pulled off. Paul Radley. Alicia’s blood turned to ice as she recognised his car. How in God’s name did he know Jessica’s address? Jessica had gone out with his friend for a while, not him.
‘Alicia,’ Paul called, winding his window down.
Alicia glanced towards the house, and then took a breath and walked towards him.
‘I just wanted to check you were okay,’ he said, smiling as she approached.
‘So you followed me?’ Alicia looked at him, astonished.
Paul furrowed his brow. ‘Why would I do that? I know where your sister lives. I dropped David off here from the tennis club several times. I was just concerned, that’s—’
‘What do you want, Paul?’ Alicia asked him tersely. Maybe he was genuinely worried – she’d always been rubbish at reading the signs where Paul Radley was concerned – but whatever his reasons were for hounding her, he must know that he was putting her marriage in jeopardy.
‘Look, Alicia.’ He sighed. ‘I know I took off suddenly, and that you probably don’t want to see me…’
Probably? Alicia laughed incredulously.
‘Can we talk? Please?’ he asked her. ‘Five minutes. No more, I promise.’
Alicia glanced nervously back to the house. She didn’t want him anywhere near her daughter.
‘We can drive around, if you like? Or we can just sit in the car.’
Alicia hesitated, and then braced herself. ‘Just five minutes. And we’ll stay here,’ she said, walking around to his passenger side. ‘So?’ she asked, climbing in.
Paul looked her thoughtfully over. ‘I’m concerned, Ali, that’s all,’ he said kindly. ‘I know asking you if you’re all right is ludicrous. Clearly, you’re not going to be, after all that’s happened. I’d just like to help, if I can.’
Alicia glanced warily at him. Surely he must know that the only thing he could possibly do to help would be to leave her alone? ‘There’s nothing you can do, Paul, really,’ she assured him. ‘Thank you for the lift to the reception, and for bringing my phone back – it was kind of you – but I really think it’s best if we don’t have any further contact. I have my family to think of.’
Letting out another heavy sigh, Paul nodded. ‘Your daughter,’ he said.
‘And Justin,’ Alicia reminded him. ‘Look, Paul, I really should go inside. I need to talk to Sophie.’
‘Right,’ Paul said, as she reached for her door. ‘Give her my love.’
Her heart immediately skipping a beat, Alicia froze.
‘Sophie,’ Paul clarified, as she looked cautiously back at him. ‘Give her my love, will you?’
‘What?’ Alicia stared hard at him.
Paul looked away, placing his hands on the steering wheel and fixing his gaze straight ahead. ‘I’ve been wondering… about the timing of your pregnancy.’ He paused pointedly. ‘I talked to Jessica at her party. She mentioned she’d been thinking of having a joint party with Sophie for her upcoming sixteenth. Naturally, that gave me pause for thought.’
Alicia’s heart stopped dead. Jessica? But, surely she would have realised she wouldn’t want him to have her date of birth?
‘Is she mine, Alicia?’
Alicia didn’t answer. She wasn’t capable of formulating an answer.