“Okay, guys, so we’re playing truth or dare and if you don’t answer honestly or complete the dare then you have to run down the road naked. Those are the rules, now, who’s going first?” James said, winking at Holly. I’d like to see him try and make her run around naked, she’d rip his head off.
“Don’t look so worried, you have an awesome body,” Kai said, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes and nudged him in the side with my elbow. My body – minus my face – was about the only thing I was happy with, but I wasn’t happy with what I’d done to it.
The game started pretty slow, mainly because everyone was wisely picking truth. But with each empty glass more and more dares started to creep in. Sophie had eaten a red chilli, James had to put a lot of make-up on, and Kai currently had hot pink fingernails.
I bit my lip as I took another peek at them. He glared. “I am man enough for this not to bother me, you’ve been under and over me, you know.”
Oh, good, we were getting into the history of our shared sexual past.
“I never said anything. I think you look very pretty and, hey, the pink is a nice contrast to all that black and grey on your arms.”
“Just wait until it’s your turn.”
“Like I’d ever be dumb enough to choose a dare from you.”
He glared one last time and turned back to the game. I was having a really good time and not just because of all the funny shit happening tonight. I was with people that didn’t know about what I’d done and the one that did know never treated me any differently. Those were definitely things to smile about.
“Tegan,” Adam said, “I dare you to dye your hair brown.”
“No. No, no, no.”
“Excellent, a naked Tegan,” he replied, giving Kai a high five. Pricks.
“Adam, come on, anything else.”
“You know the rules. Clothes off, princess,” Kai said, grinning from ear to ear.
I groaned and put my head in my hands. “Not a permanent dye. I’m serious, I want it to wash out quickly.” Why, why, why was I doing this?
“I’ll run to the supermarket and get it.”
“Get a black one,” Kai shouted to Adam. “Hey, a drastic change isn’t always a bad thing.”
That had a heavier meaning to it. “Yeah, what was yours?” He tapped the Isaac half-sleeve on his arm.
“It’s not the same.”
“Kind of is. Doesn’t matter what change it is, sometimes you just need to be broken from the cage you’re trapped in. It can happen in so many different ways, not always what you’d expect.”
“What broke you?”
He smiled sadly. “That’s a story for another day.”
I was determined not to be a pushy person but man, I wanted to know what he’d been through. He didn’t share that much about what he was like before he’d sorted himself out. Not that I could blame him, I didn’t particularly like visiting that part of my life either and I hadn’t come through it yet.
I had no idea what would break me.
Kai’s semi-admission had my mind spinning and I only remembered that I was about to dye my hair, for the first time ever. I was also dying it brown. You don’t want to run naked, you don’t want to run naked, you don’t want to run naked. Perhaps if I chanted it enough times I would believe it.
Right now I’d rather strip off. I’d always been blonde, from the moment my hair lightened at the age of seven weeks I’d been a blondie. Going brown, and for a fucking dare, was drastic. But then perhaps Kai was right, maybe I needed drastic.
Grabbing the box out of Adam’s hand, I checked that it wasn’t permanent. Twenty-four washes it lasted for. I could easily do that in a day. “I can’t do this to myself so someone is going to have to,” I said.
Sophie jumped up. “I volunteer.”
Glaring, I replied, “I have no best friend.”
“You’d so be first in line if this was the other way around. That,” she said, pointing at me, “is friendship. Now sit down and stay still. I am going to really enjoy this.”
Sophie applied the, thankfully, light ash brown hair dye and I closed my eyes through the whole thing. I pictured myself and thought about the fact that I didn’t really know who that person was anymore. How much difference could hair dye make? I wanted to believe that it would be the answer but how could it be? Hair colour didn’t have that much power and certainly not magical ones.
After twenty minutes me and Sophie went upstairs to wash the dye out. “I’m going to look stupid,” I said.
“You’ll rock brunette.”
She rocked brunette, I was going to look stupid.
“It’s not me.”
“What is you, Tegan?” My stomach turned to ice. That was the first reference to the fuck-up I’d become she’d ever made.
“I don’t know.”