Mum smiled. “You can go. I see you trying and getting more involved. I’m trying, too, so you can go but there are going to be conditions. Probably a lot of them.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, feeling choked up. “I’ll stick to whatever conditions you have.”
“I know you will. Because you’ll want to leave the house again before you’re thirty.”
I would because I didn’t want her to spend her days worrying that her daughter was going to do something stupid again. She turned her head towards the ceiling and closed her eyes, smiling.
Dad’s pillow was under my head but I couldn’t smell him anymore. My pulse stared to race and I felt short of breath. I closed my eyes and focused on the calming exercises Melanie had taught me. I forced my breaths out evenly and tried to think of something good rather than the heart-tearing loss. Finally, I managed to calm myself down enough to fall asleep.
***
“Hey!” I said, opening the front door to Kai and bouncing on the spot. Today was the day we were going away. Mum had finally trusted me enough to let me go. We were working on trust and so far I had followed every single rule perfectly so I could build our relationship. The sun was shining and I was going away with friends.
“Excited much, princess?” he asked, laughing. I rolled my eyes and followed him as he walked through the hallway. He stopped by the music room. I’d opened the doors this morning and took a peek inside. After staying with Mum and Ava last night I felt a little less lonely, a little less afraid. “Nice piano.”
“You play?” I asked.
“No, but how hard can it be?”
I raised my eyebrows and pushed him into the room. Mum and Ava were watching us from the kitchen and got up to follow when I shoved Kai inside. Little bitch was going to see how hard it could be!
He sat down on the stool and cracked his knuckles. Then he stared at the keys.
“In your own time, Kai.”
He smirked up at me and started to play Just the Way You Are. Well, I use the term ‘play’ very loosely. He hit they keys – the wrong ones – in time to the song. I cringed. It was bad, very bad, but the look of pride on his face made me, my mum, and sister laugh.
Finally the noise stopped and I bit my lip. “That was…great,” I said sarcastically.
“Alright, let’s see you play it.”
I did. I let my fingers glide over the keys elegantly and played the same song he’d just murdered. There weren’t many things I could do well but I could play the piano. I felt heavy hearted when I finished the song. I enjoyed playing but I didn’t want to when Dad wasn’t around to enjoy it with me. When would the guilt over every little pissing thing end?
“Wow,” Kai said, dragging me back from getting sucked in by guilt. He looked down at me; his dark chocolate eyes alight in awe. “That was… Yeah.”
I smiled and stood up. “Thanks. Are you ready to go now?”
He nodded, still looking at me like I’d just cured every disease in the world. I just played the damn piano!
I followed behind with Mum and Ava as Kai put my bags in the boot of his car. “Are you sure you have enough stuff?” he asked sarcastically. I gave him a dirty look.
“Remember, honey,” Mum said.
Like I could forget. I grabbed Kai’s arm. “I shall not leave his side. I swear.”
“I’ll look after her, make sure she eats, gets her naps in, builds a sandcastle and all that,” Kai said, smirking.
Mum laughed. “Thank you. Now, you be a good girl for, Kai.” Oh, good, she was playing along. Bunch of bloody comedians today…
“You all suck.” I got in the car, shutting the door on their laughing at my expense.
“So, I guess you can play the piano,” Kai said after we’d been driving for a few minutes. “You should do it professionally.”
“I thought about it once, but I really wanna be a forensic scientist.” His head snapped round, mouth open and eyes wide. “I don’t really but that was so worth it.”
“Ha ha.”
We pulled into the cafe car park and met up with Holly, James, Sophie, Mark, Adam and Adam’s girlfriend, Megan, for breakfast before we headed out. I hadn’t seen Adam for a while so our hello hug was a squeezing one. I’d missed him.
Three hours later and we finally made it to the beach house. I was quickly informed that I was sharing the twin room with Kai as everyone else was all coupled up and wanted the doubles.
I’d shared a bed with him before. Hell, I’d shared bodily fluids with him before, so it shouldn’t be weird, we had separate beds, but it was. I was fairly confident that I’d be fine with Lucas sharing a room with another woman, sleeping didn’t mean shagging, but I wasn’t at all confident that he’d be fine with me sharing a room with Kai.
“You okay with this?” he asked as we lugged our bags through the bright white house to our room. “I can sleep on the sofa if you want.”