“Ahhh Lauren, good you’re awake and a lot calmer by the looks of things, let’s just take your blood pressure and then I’ll call the doctor to come and check you out.”
I go to move off of Gabe but he holds me tight and shakes his head, I look from him to the nurse, mortified at my earlier behaviour and I need to apologies to the nurse, Andrea, it says on her badge.
“I’m so sorry about earlier, I don’t know what happened, I just panicked, I feel really bad.”
“No worries darl, you’ve been out of it for a couple of days, you were bound to be a bit confused” she says as she puts the cuff around my arm, totally ignoring the fact that Gabe is propped up on my pillows and I am straddling him, whilst wearing just a hospital gown and it would seem, nothing else. My belly rumbles, loudly. She raises her eyes to mine.
“You hungry darl?” I shrug, am I?
“I’ll organise you a sandwich and a cup of tea, okay?”
She looks at Gabe, “And what about you handsome, is there anything I can get for you?”
He looks up at her and it suddenly hits me how bad he looks, he has bags under his eyes at least three days stubble on his chin and his skin is a terrible shade of grey, no hint of his sexy sun tan.
“I would love a coffee, thank you.”
She starts for the door after telling me my blood pressure is a little high.
“But then mine would be too if I was squeezing him between my legs” She declares as she leaves the room.
He pulls me to him again, I can barely breathe but I don’t want him to let me go, because I have a really horrible feeling in my belly, “What happened Gabe, will you please just tell me?”
“Charlie had a heart attack.”
“What? When?” Shit, poor Charlie.
“Out on the water, he was on the back of the Jet Ski with Jackie and he had a heart attack.”
“What? Well what…”
He breaks into a sob, “He’s dead Lauren, my Dad’s dead.”
I lean away from him, needing to see his face so that I can try and make sense of what he’s saying. He pushes the heel of his hands into his eyes and then looks right at me.
“He had a heart attack on the back of the Jet Ski and collapsed forward onto Jackie, she lost control and she smashed into you and Ava, you have been out cold for three days with a severe concussion and…and Ava is in an induced coma and Charlie’s dead and you wouldn’t wake up and I’ve been so fucking scared.”
He is struggling to get his breath as he sobs so hard, I want to be strong for him but I am useless and crying almost as much as he is. My head is spinning and I know that I need to stop panicking and try to think straight but I just can’t, I have so many questions, so many thoughts running through my brain and I can’t seem to put them into any kind of order, I can’t seem to process what he’s telling me and form words to make a sentence, not one that makes any sense. I move my mouth, but I can’t make anything come out and I can’t seem to get enough air into my lungs.
“Breathe Lauren, deep breaths, breathe.”
Now it’s him trying to calm me. He holds me against him and I get my breathing rhythm to match his; as my breathing calms so do my thoughts.
“Gabe where’s Ava, can I see her, what have they said? Oh Gabe I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
I climb off of him.
“Where is Ava Gabe? I want to see her.”
I slide off the bed but everything spins as my feet touch the floor. I lean back and try to steady myself.
“Get into bed Lauren, you shouldn’t be up, the doctor needs to see you, shit, I shouldn’t have told you yet, I should have waited.”
He climbs off the bed and lifts me back onto it, I can’t believe he’s acting like this, why is he here, why isn’t he with Ava?
“Gabe, we need to go to her, we shouldn’t be here, we need to be with Ava.”
“Get back into bed Lauren, just for once do as your fucking told and get back into bed. Ava’s not here, she’s at the Royal Children’s, you’re in the Alfred, I’ve been coming back and forth between the two, Nina is with Ava right now, that’s why I’m here, your nurse called and said you had woken up hysterical and that they had given you a light sedative, I rushed back here before you woke up again, I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke before.”
He’s pulled a chair up to my bed while he was speaking and is now sitting beside me, holding my hand. He looks concerned and exhausted and I feel terrible for keeping him from his daughter’s sick bed.
“You shouldn’t be here Gabe, go, go and be with your daughter, I’m fine.”
“I’ll go as soon as the doctors been, Ryder’s on his way back and I’ve spoken to your Mum on the phone.”
He kisses my hand.
“Ryder’s been here, is he okay?”
“Lauren, he’s fine, you’re the one we’ve all been worrying about, will you please stop worrying about everyone else.”
“Have you been eating?”