Ryan rolled down the windows of his black Toyota Tundra and cranked the radio to the first rock song he turned to. The boys sang along, but I still couldn’t understand the words. Beth and I giggled at the funny faces they made as they serenaded amused and sometimes bewildered pedestrians as we passed.
At the salon, Beth and I stepped out onto the sidewalk and waved as the Tundra disappeared around the corner.
“Those boys.” Beth shook her head before turning to me. “C’mon!” she said, yanking me inside.
I sunk into my seat as my hands and feet were brushed, scrubbed, filed, de-cuticled, polished and lotioned. Beth prattled on to the nail techs about our plans for the night, how wonderful her boyfriend was and her upcoming apartment hunt.
“You’re staying in Providence?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting upward.
She smiled. “Chad wants to get an apartment together. I didn’t want to say anything before… with everything going on.”
“You didn’t want to upset me.”
Beth bit her lip and nodded.
“You could have told me, Beth. I think it’s fantastic,” I said, grabbing her hand.
“You do?”
“You two are amazing together. You don’t need to worry about me, I’ll be fine,” I said, squeezing her hand.
“Yeah…you being fine is exactly what I’m worried about,” she grumbled.
Two hours later, Ryan’s Tundra honked from the curb. Ryan opened the door for us and then hopped back in, turning the music down.
“Did you have a good time, Babe?” he asked, kissing my cheek.
“Yeah, it was fun,” I answered.
“Well, you look gorgeous. I’m afraid to take you anywhere looking like that. I might have to fight somebody,” he said, winking.
“Quit it,” I smiled, rolling my eyes.
We arrived at the pub, and I could hear the music thumping from the street. I knew Kim had beaten us there, because it was her crazy music filtering through the door. When we walked in, our friends were already on the dance floor, arms up, bouncing around. Ryan grabbed my hand and led me to the middle of the floor, twirling me around.
In that moment I was just like them. I was a normal college student, with my entire normal life ahead of me. I smiled, and it felt natural. I drank shots, toasted to the Big Brown Bear, and hugged my friends. It was bittersweet freedom.
The music slowed, and Ryan pulled me to him. We were both sticky from dancing, and I pulled the wet strands of my bangs away from my face.
Holding my hand up to the dim light, he smiled. “Those are some pretty nails you have there.”
“My boyfriend forced me to go to the spa today. He made me spend the afternoon with one of my girlfriends,” I teased.
“Really? He sounds like a great guy. If I were you, I’d hang on to him…sounds like a keeper.”
I watched his face for a moment and then rested my cheek on his shoulder. Ryan wrapped his arms tighter around me and pressed his face into my hair.
“It wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” he whispered in my ear. “If we stopped pretending?”
I shut my eyes and remained silent.
We returned to the bar for another round of shots when I saw Kim heading outside, a cigarette already between her lips. I stumbled out behind her and raked my matted hair from my forehead as she flicked her lighter.
“Can I have one?” I asked, breathless and weaving.
“You want a cigarette?” she asked in disbelief.
I nodded and Kim shrugged, pulling a stubby white stick from the small box she was holding.
I put the cigarette between my lips flicked the lighter. Just as it sparked, Jared appeared in front of me with a disgusted look on his face.
“What are you doing?” He pulled the cigarette from my mouth, broke it in half, and threw it to the ground. “You don’t smoke.” He frowned in disapproval, and I shrunk back into Kim.
“You’re drunk, Ryan’s drunk, I’m taking you home,” he said in a father-like tone.
I turned to open the door to the pub, but Jared grabbed my wrist. “Then let me call you a cab,” his voice lost its authority and I winced at the pain in his voice.
Jared’s hand was the same warm blanket I remembered. After the number of drinks I’d had, I couldn’t hide my feelings. Jared’s eyes became animated in reaction.
He looked down to my hand and caressed my skin with his thumb. He had sensed the pensive feeling I’d had at his touch.
I pulled away. “You need to go.”
“I can’t let you go with him when he’s been drinking.”
“Ryan already—,” I began.
“Jared,” Ryan said, bursting out of the bar. He nodded once at Jared and then looked at me and smiled. “Hey, Babe,” he said, jerking me against him and planting his mouth on mine.
My eyes widened and then I clinched them shut, trying to cover the fact that I was taken off-guard. After a few seconds, he pulled away, looked into my eyes and then cupped my cheeks, kissing me again. I could tell by the way he held me that it was no longer for show. He had forgotten about our audience as he parted his lips, lightly touching his tongue to mine.
I pulled away and immediately watched for Jared’s reaction; his expression frightened me. I slowly moved to stand in front of Ryan.
“Jared.…” I warned.