I looked up at him. “What?”
“I just meant that he’s probably hanging around because he’s worried about you. You look so unhappy. If he thought you were okay without him…maybe he’d let you live your life.”
I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him tightly to me, and then scrambled across the room to pull on my jacket.
“Walk with me,” I said, holding the door open.
He raised an eyebrow and stood up reluctantly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m perfect, let’s go,” I said, hurrying him out the door.
I pulled him along by his hand, dragging him to the parking lot. When we got to my car, Ryan paused. “We’re going somewhere?”
“Just get in.”
He didn’t move. “You’re weirding me out, Nigh."
“Please?”
“Will you tell me where we’re going, first?”
“Some place we can talk. Just…trust me,” I said, aware that I seemed completely insane.
“Nina, I trust you. I just think you’re not yourself these days.”
“If you trusted me, you would be in the car by now.” I slid into the driver’s seat and waited. After a few moments, Ryan opened the door and sat beside me. I smiled at him and touched his hand. “Thank you.”
Ryan offered a half smile and squeezed my hand, holding it tightly the entire trip to my parents’ home. When we pulled into the drive, he let go.
“Whoa,” he said under his breath.
I turned off the ignition and searched each window for any sign of Cynthia, but the house was dark. Ryan followed me up the stairs to my father’s office, and I closed the door behind him. He looked around, clearly nervous.
“Can we talk, now?” he asked. When I nodded, he let out a loud, frustrated sigh. “What the hell’s going on with you, Nina? I’m serious…you’re starting to worry me. I wish you would let me help you.”
I closed my eyes in relief and whispered as quietly as I could. “There is something you can do.”
Ryan leaned in, keeping his voice low like mine, “Just name it.”
I kept my eyes closed, cringing at my coming request. “It’s really…really selfish. It’s horrible. It’s the worst thing I could ask of you, but I think it’s the only thing that will work. It’s the only way he’ll move on.” I peeked up at him, already fearful of his response.
“This is about Jared?” he said.
I nodded.
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
“I….” Ryan’s hopeful expression made me hesitate. I wasn’t sure I could go through with it, even if he agreed.
“Nigh, don’t be a pain in the ass. Just say it,” he said, staring me down.
“I need you to date me,” I breathed, barely above a whisper.
Ryan’s face instantly compressed. “What? Why are you whispering?”
I ignored his last question. “I need you to date me. You know, take me on dates, to the movies, eat lunch with me, walk me to class…and hang out with me in the evenings.” I forced a contrived smile. “I’ll pay.”
“You need me to date you,” he repeated in monotone.
“Jared has it in his head that you and I belong together,” I said. Ryan’s face morphed into suspicion. “Just…trust me. That’s what he thinks, and the only way he would ever accept that I was moving on is with you. He said once that he would step aside if I chose you. It’s just for a few months—just until he gives up—and then you don’t have to do it anymore,” I begged.
Ryan chuckled, taking in my ludicrous idea. “I won’t have to do it anymore? You know this is better than anything I could have ever hoped for, right?”
“Ryan….” Afraid he would be offended and decide not to help me, I hesitated, “I have to be honest with you…we will always be friends. I care about you, but I can’t let you go into this thinking it’s going to end up being something more. We’ll just be pretending. I can’t… I don’t see myself being with anyone else. Ever,” I exhaled, glad that part of the conversation was over.
Ryan rolled his eyes. “Why go through the charade? Why not just get a protective order?”
I looked down to my hands. “He’s just following me around because he knows I still love him.”
Ryan didn’t expect my answer, and his nose wrinkled in response. “If you still love him, then why aren’t you with him?”
I crossed my arms. “Are you going to help me or not?”
“Josh is going to think I’m crazy.”
I shook my head. “You can’t tell anyone. Not Kim, not Tucker or Josh, not your mom. If you tell anyone, even just one person, he’ll find out.”
“Is he FBI or something?” Ryan said, looking a bit creeped out. “What did you get yourself mixed up in, Nigh?
“Will you do it for me? I know it sounds crazy, and I know it’s a lot to ask, but you’re the only one that can help me,” I said, tugging desperately at his shirt.
“Pretend to be your boyfriend? Lie to all my friends? Let you break my heart when it’s all said and done?”
I nodded sheepishly.