Nodding, I take another scoop. JJ's hazel eyes get thoughtful.
"I have loved a lot of women. Ironically, the kids' mom wasn't one of them. The women I loved always ran away because I was never enough for them. Oh, they claimed living out here with my kids and the nannies was too hard for them. I figured if they loved me enough, the rest wouldn't matter."
Setting down my spoon, I feel freakishly tired. "Jace is messed up. His parents were murdered, and he was there when they died. He had therapy and a good adopted family, but he's still messed up. I know he wants me, but he wanted me years ago and still left. How can I trust a man like that?"
"You can't," JJ says. "Or maybe you can. I don't know. Once things end with a woman, I find another woman or I don't. I never spend much time worrying over the last woman. She left me, so I figure she must be flawed not to want me."
I grin. "Do you think Zane and Yesenia will last?"
"Sure. As long as his sisters don't kill her. So in that case, no."
"Why kill her?"
"Yesenia hates horror movies and country music. She spells Lynyrd Skynyrd wrong. The poor girl has no chance. Besides, she's dull. How can she survive in a family where everyone is always wondering what they can blow up next?"
"True."
"I don't know about this Jace boy. He might be able to commit, and you two could be very happy. Just don't be like Bodie," JJ says, suddenly very serious. "Don't waste your life waiting for a man who is never going to stick with you. Give the bastard a deadline. If he won't make his feelings clear by then, cut his ass loose and move on. No matter how painful it is, don't waste your youth."
Excited to hear gossip, I lean forward. "Who is Bodie waiting for?"
"I don't know," JJ says, and I believe him. "I know she doesn't date since the first time she had sex. I've heard the squirting in her hair story."
"She told you that?"
"No. I sneak around the house a lot, eavesdropping," he says, giving me a wink. "My daughter has one sexual experience and swears off men. Only two reasons for that to happen. One is she was traumatized and is too afraid to try again. Two is she fell hard for the guy and is waiting for him. Since Bodie isn't capable of feeling fear or being traumatized, she's waiting."
I try to imagine Bodie so horrified by sex she can never get close to a man again. Seems unlikely but no more so than her waiting for some guy. Besides, who would trust their dick to her? Though I get jealous at the thought of her and Jace together, I know she'd scare him off long before they ever reached the kissing phase, let alone fucking.
"I won't wait forever," I say quietly.
"No one thinks they will. Forever just sneaks up on you."
Nodding, I could easily wait for Jace forever. "I'll pick a deadline."
"The heart is weak, and it lies. Look at Zane. He sees none of the problems waiting for him and his girl. He only sees her perfection and his happiness. My heart lied to me plenty of times. Your heart might be lying to you too. Or maybe it knows a secret. Always tricky to tell."
Frustrated by his lack of tough love, I take a big scoop of ice cream. JJ studies me and nods at an unspoken thought.
"With Jace, you'll need to either take a dump or get off the pot. It's what Kirk would do. He took what he wanted and remained loyal to those deserving of it. Yet he didn't linger on something not worth saving."
Mouth full of ice cream, I smile. JJ and Pop only met a few times over the years. They weren't much alike. Even strangers, JJ knows my father well enough for me to feel like Pop is in the room with us. I can imagine him telling me to stop being a scared little girl and take what's mine.
My heart's weak and my mind lost in grief, but my gut knows the truth.
Chapter 24
Jace
Better Things To Do
I wake up with a smile on my face. Five minutes in heaven brought me one big step closer to fixing what I fucked up. Arriving at the McLaughlin house, I have all kinds of plans for my day with Sawyer. A lot of them involve her under me.
Instead, I'm stuck playing touch football.
Zane explains how we're playing for the entertainment of the house staff. By we, he doesn't mean him since he's spending the day with Yesenia. I'll be stuck with Snap, Crackle, and Pop again.
Enjoying their catered lunch, Mamas Hilde, May Dee, and Phuong sit on a secondary deck. Other staff sits with JJ, drinking wine coolers with their ribs and chicken.
Dropping my belongings off in the room I stayed in before, I dress in shorts and a tee left out for me. Grumpy, I crave alone time with Sawyer. My mood improves immediately once I find Sawyer jumping around with the twins. I have no idea what the hell they're doing, but she looks beautiful and happy.
Earlier in the morning, Cooper called to ask when his sister was returning home. I told him that she's going through a phase. He grunted, hanging up on me. If he saw Sawyer's smiles right now, Cooper might be a bit more patient.