"You got your panties in a twist about my porn comment," he says, pinching my nipples the way I like. "You know I love your tits. I love the way they bounce when you laugh hard or when I fuck you hard. They way your pink nipples need rough pinching to get hard."
I say nothing, leaning my head against the tiled walls. My eyes take in the sight of all his hard flesh. I want to know this new Jace. Taste all of his new muscles and rediscover all the old ones.
Wanting him, I still feel the old hurt from the day he left me. "This doesn't mean anything," I say, unable to stop myself.
"It means what it means."
Pushing him away, I frown. "What the fuck does that mean?"
"It means you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
I stare into his dark eyes and know he's telling the truth. Jace isn't hiding. He's not playing any mind games, even with himself. He really does look at me and think I'm beautiful. My unquenchable lust beats back all those hurt feelings.
"Fuck me," I growl, stepping up on the shower seat and climbing into his arms. "Fuck me, but don't talk. Words aren't our friends."
Jace takes my suggestion and uses his lips to devour mine rather than speak. Our wet bodies slip and slide, but his long hard cock finally eases into my body. I fucking giggle at the feel of him stretching me open and claiming me again.
Bouncing joyfully on his cock, I never worry about Jace dropping me. Not when he has all these new muscles to keep me safe.
Coming fast and hard, I laugh with relief. I'd wanted him since he returned his cock to his pants the night before. Jace sucks at my throat, hard enough to leave hickeys. I think back to the first one he gave me and the look Pop got when he saw it. Laughing again, I feel a weight lift off me and a little freedom handed back.
I don't know if Jace comes before we leave the shower. He's so fucking hard when he rests me soaking wet on the bed. I turn over on my knees and lift my ass up.
Leaning forward, Jace kisses the tattoo on my shoulder and shoves his cock back inside me. I glance back at him, smiling at the hunger in his eyes. No way do I want him satisfied. I expect to be fucked until my pussy files a restraining order and not a minute sooner.
Jace's hips pump vigorously, pushing me closer to another orgasm. I know he's close too. His fingers grip my waist, pulling my hips back to meet his.
Our rhythms setting each other off, we both come. I hide my face in the sheets, soaking in every pleasurable wave. I want to forget the last nine months. The pain, anger, and grief. I want to be the old Sawyer who feared nothing. Life was so damn easy for me until one day it wasn't. Losing Jace and Pop made me a weak bitch, but I want to break free from my depression.
Yet, I can't apparently. I roll onto my back and look up at Jace. He's still so beautiful, but he's different. Wider shoulders, longer hair, colder eyes, he isn't my Jace anymore.
The walls close in on me the way they did when Pop died. Everything seems too bright and loud. I can't concentrate. Panicking, I think I'm suffocating.
I feel like I'm moving, but the world only spins. Nothing registers for a long time as I struggle to breathe. When my vision settles, I'm sitting with my head pressed against my knees. In this position, I'm forced to breathe slower. Rather than suffocating, I was hyperventilating just like at the hospital with Pop.
Calming, I feel Jace's fingers on the back of my neck, caressing the damp skin. I fear looking at him and seeing all those changes. This new world with no Pop and a new Jace scares the shit out of me. No amount of fucking will fix my fears either.
"What happened?" he asks, leaning me back on the bed.
"You're different, and I'm not. I'm still the Sawyer I was before the world shit on my life. I haven't adjusted. You'd think with all my talk that I'd have a handle on my crap by now."
Jace says nothing. He hates these deep talks, and I don't blame him. Actions can be altered, but feelings can't be controlled.
"Stay with me," I say as he pulls a blanket over me.
"Nowhere else I want to be."
"No talking though."
"Nothing to say."
"No, there isn't," I murmur.
Jace reaches over for the remote and turns on the TV. We find a crappy Syfy movie and half watch it. We're both thinking and wishing we weren't feeling.
Even loving Jace, I don't trust him. Maybe I never will. Can we rebuild without trust? Are we bound to fail if I can't forget the day he left me? I know the answers suck, so I focus on the shitty movie rather than the man wrapping me in his arms.
Chapter 26
Jace
Liar
Sawyer has lost her damn mind! A fuck and a freak out later, she still plans to go on her date with Stanley. Nope, not going to happen.
I can't lose my temper in front of her though. She's still frazzled from her panic attack. We're resting in bed when she tells me about her date. Hiding in my head finally comes in handy since I show her no reaction.
"What time?" I ask, playing with her wild curls.
"In thirty minutes. I should get ready."
Sawyer doesn't move, but I do. Sliding gently out from behind her, I walk to the closet and find a clean pair of jeans. I search my bag for something else and return to bed.