That marked the beginning of my lifelong quest to meet the man who inspired me for most of my upbringing. From that day forward, I flew to wrestling events around the world whenever I could, trying to meet him. There was always something standing in my way, though: security measures (makes sense), my ticket not being VIP enough, or simply lacking the funds to purchase a meet-and-greet. I tweeted him again and again, mentioning him in my videos, constantly repeating that meeting him was the number one thing on my bucket list.
Fast-forward to many years later and, through a series of fortunate events, God somehow blessed me enough to receive an email in my inbox from Dwayne. Through my work on YouTube we’ve become friends, and I vividly remember having a mild panic attack when he actually gave me his number. For a year I would text him every once in a while, still having no clue what it would feel like to meet him in person.
You’ve already read the story of my experience meeting Dwayne, and so I’ll keep this brief. Having said that, I would like to highlight a specific part of the story for the sake of this chapter. In the entertainment industry, protocol is the law, or at least that’s what I’ve been taught. No matter how minor an event is, you schedule it and send a calendar invite. Need to borrow a pen from my desk? How’s 4:03 P.M. today for that pen pickup? I’ll send an invite. On a red carpet, you dress to meet a certain unspoken dress code, no matter how impossible and uncomfortable it is to walk in those shoes. And talent doesn’t speak to other talent to set meetings—your people speak to their people. When it came to The Rock, I followed protocol. As a result, even though I’d become text buddies with Dwayne, I still wasn’t any closer to meeting him in person. I got my manager to email everyone and their mothers and still nothing happened. I tried going through my agency to set up a meeting, but every time the result was just a lot of empty promises. I kept trying to navigate the system to check off the number one thing on my bucket list. It never worked.
The night before the MTV Movie Awards, an event I knew Dwayne and I would both be attending, I emailed my entire team (for the millionth time) practically begging them to make a meeting happen. I knew I would be in the audience and he would be backstage and I would not have the credentials to get into his area. After sending the email, I paused for a second, then said, “You know what? Eff this. This system is stupid, and I’m going to do this my way.” I pulled out my phone and directly texted Dwayne asking him if I could meet him the next day. Now, this may not seem like a big deal and you might be thinking, “OBVIOUSLY! Why wouldn’t you text him?” but in the entertainment industry everyone will convince you that’s inappropriate and wrong. In my head I was breaking all the etiquette rules. I took a risk because I wasn’t going to let mankind ruin my chance again (this time I’m talking about humanity, not the wrestler). The result? The next day, not only did Dwayne kiss me on the cheek, but he recorded the entire thing on his phone because he’d been looking forward to the meeting too. He made sure I got the credentials I needed to access the greenroom he was in, and it was the most magical moment of my life. Hey, protocol, eff you! You Jabroni!
Since this meeting, there have been countless other times in my career that I’ve made a request or suggested something outside of the box and the response has been, “This is not how things are traditionally done.” Well, here’s the thing: a Bawse doesn’t need to always do things the way they’re traditionally done. A Bawse does things however they need to be done, by any means necessary. I have made a career out of making videos on the Internet that involve me dressing up like my parents and drawing a beard on my face, so don’t tell me about all the “traditional” protocols I need to follow. Sometimes I also get told about how my business should be operating and how involved I should be. I’ve been told that it’s not appropriate or necessary for me to be looped in on email threads regarding my own business, because that’s protocol. If protocol means I can’t see every email that involves decisions being made about ME, then protocol can go directly to jail without passing Go and receiving $200. I don’t care about the system people are used to; I care about the system that works for my business.
Whatever you do in life, there will be protocols and rules. The majority of the time, you should probably follow them. But every once in a while, if you feel like a rule is not accommodating to the magic you could create, draw outside of the lines, knock over the pylons, and cross the yellow line. Break the rules and get things done. Sometimes it’ll result in something magnificent, and sometimes it might result in complete chaos, but sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
So break boundaries and go beyond the limits set in place. Don’t let a system and the people who exist in it tell you how you should act if it doesn’t feel right to you. Do things your way. Break the system!
How’s 4:11 P.M. for that system breakage? I’ll send an iCal invite.
What? Some rules just make sense.
“OH, I DIDN’T see you there, Bawse,” said no one ever. Of course you notice a Bawse. They walk with purpose, speak with confidence, and light up a room, so it’s impossible to miss them. In The Exorcism of Emily Rose, you thought she turned her head all the way around because she was possessed? Wrong. She just saw a Bawse enter a room.
One of the most identifiable qualities of a Bawse is their energy. Something about them stands out and leaves a lasting impression on people. They are not easily overlooked or forgotten. I learned the power of having presence when I had my first meeting with my current multi-channel network (MCN), Studio 71. For your information, an MCN is essentially like a record label but for YouTube content. My meeting was with the head of the company, Michael, and I knew I had to make a great first impression. We did the “Hi, how are you, nice to meet you” bit, and then he asked me “So, what can I tell you about the company?” Now, as much as I wanted to make a great impression and get signed by this company, I also knew my own value and wanted to make sure the company was right for me. I wanted to be with a company that would work hard for me and vice versa. So, with a smile on my face and a little bit of sass on my tongue, I replied, “You tell me. What can YOU tell ME about the company?” I’ll never forget the look on everyone’s face when I uttered those words. He looked at me with amusement, and I could tell I’d totally thrown him off guard. Like a Bawse.
After a few minutes of him pitching the company to me (due to my curveball), he finally asked, “What do you want to achieve?” To this I responded with complete honesty. I said, “World domination,” with a straight face. After a beat—you know, for dramatic effect—I began to elaborate on everything I wanted to accomplish. There was so much presence in the room that the past and future started feeling insecure.
The meeting finished, we shook hands, and I went on with my day. Shortly after, the head of the digital department emailed me to tell me that Michael had said, “She’s an absolute star. Let’s make sure we get it right.” Turns out that Michael was impressed by our meeting and gave his blessing to sign me. Later that week I signed with Studio 71, and we’ve had a great relationship ever since. I work hard for them and they work hard for me.
First impressions are important, but they aren’t the only times you’ll need to demonstrate your Bawse presence. Below are guidelines on how to not only make a great first impression but also impress people beyond that first encounter:
SMILE FOR A REASON