What good would it be to surround yourself with smarter people if you can’t learn from them? There seems to be this universal fear of “looking stupid” or “sounding dumb.” Who is dumber, the person who pretends they know everything, or the person who doesn’t and asks questions? Wasting an opportunity to learn seems pretty dumb to me. It’s difficult, though, to let go of the idea that people may view you as “stupid.” At the end of the day, we all care to some extent what other people think (except maybe Kanye West—he might not care what anyone thinks). But what’s more important: doing a good job or saving face?
When I was on the set of my first-ever feature film, Dr. Cabbie, I become great friends with Kunal Nayyar, aka Raj from The Big Bang Theory. Yes, he talks to girls in real life. Every time he would act a scene out, I was mesmerized by how invested he was in his character. If his character was sad, Kunal felt that pain and it showed on-screen. I also noticed that after a scene, Kunal didn’t always feel the need to watch playback. I was obsessed with checking playback because I wanted to make sure I looked okay in the scene. When I asked him about it, he dropped a knowledge bomb that would help me in several areas of my life. He said, “People get too concerned about looking stupid on-screen and so they constantly check the playback. You can’t be scared of looking stupid. Instead, just be how your character is supposed to feel.” I think that’s a great rule to live by when it comes to “looking stupid.” Doing a good job should be more important than how you look. With that lesson in mind, I created a rule for myself: if you don’t understand something, ask questions until you do understand it. And I mean REALLY understand it. If that takes two or three questions, then so be it. That’s not “looking dumb,” that’s being dedicated to learning something new. I know now that a highlight is something that goes on your cheekbone with powder, not a Sharpie. People have stopped looking at me weird.
“WHO IS DUMBER, THE PERSON WHO PRETENDS THEY KNOW EVERYTHING, OR THE PERSON WHO DOESN’T AND ASKS QUESTIONS?
I think it’s essential for growth to occasionally surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. A big reason I moved from Toronto to L.A. was because when it came to YouTube, I was the most knowledgeable person in my hometown. Before I moved, people would approach me and ask, “You make money off YouTube?” and I would have to explain that ads ran on my videos, so yes, I did. When I moved to L.A., people were suddenly asking me questions about my watch time, pre-roll ads, and how I window my content. I was like a deer in headlights because I had no idea! All these people were smarter than me when it came to YouTube, and it forced me to become better.
During my Streamy Award acceptance speech, I said something very important that I would like to repeat here. As I stood in front of a roomful of fellow creators, I said, “People always say that if you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room. Looking around, I can definitely say that I’m absolutely in the correct room, because you’re all so talented and inspirational.” At the end of the day, you can’t learn new things if you’re always the one giving the lessons. You need to be around people who challenge you, intimidate you, and teach you new things. Being a Bawse isn’t always about being the best; it’s about placing yourself in the best situations.
If I ever feel like I know more about legalities than my lawyer, then I know my lawyer is no longer right for the job. If I ever start managing myself better than my actual manager, then there’s a problem. If I’m always in rooms that are overly comfortable, then I’m in the wrong rooms. The only way you can become smarter is by giving yourself a chance to be dumb sometimes.
So go forth and be dumb, but just don’t hurt yourself. Don’t play with stray Doggs, and if you touch something hot, drop it.
Thanks for the tip, Snoop.
I HAVE A FRIEND named Lindsey Stirling who just happens to be, in my opinion, one of the most talented people on the planet. Lindsey is a musician who freezes time with her violin, or at least that’s what it feels like. She has millions of views on her YouTube videos, and when I say millions, I’m not talking one or two. One of her videos has 156 million views. One video. The first time I ever saw Lindsey perform was at one of her concerts in Los Angeles with thousands of other audience members. Lindsey is an extraordinary performer who dances, leaps across the stage, and nails quick costume changes, all while keeping her toes pointed AND playing the violin flawlessly. Basically what I’m trying to say is that Lindsey is amazing and super-successful. That’s why I was utterly shocked to hear that she still takes violin lessons and—pause for dramatic effect—practices every day. Every. Single. Day.
When Lindsey told me about her lessons, I thought, “Okay, I feel like your teacher is just making FREE money because um, hello, YOU’RE LINDSEY STIRLING.” I’m pretty sure that if I Google the words “violin player,” a picture of Lindsey will show up. In fact, let me try right now. BRB.
Okay, back. I WAS RIGHT. Her picture came up, no joke. Why on earth is she taking lessons? Lindsey explained to me that there’s still so much more she feels she can learn when it comes to her craft. Every day she practices little finger movements that allow her to play a little smoother. She demonstrated one of the movements to me, and I watched in amusement as she held an imaginary violin and moved her pinky exactly one centimeter from left to right.
What I learned from Lindsey that day, and what I continue to learn on my journey to becoming a Bawse, is that you are never too good to stop investing in yourself. We live in a constantly evolving environment, so we need to evolve and grow. Your best today may not be enough next year, so keep developing.
Here are a few ways you can invest in yourself using time, energy, and money:
TIME
When I graduated from university and got my degree, I remember thinking that I would never be a student again. Little did I know that I would continue being a student for the rest of my life, because learning never stops. After all, the best teachers in the world are the ones who are still students.
Learning new things means taking the time to read books, watch YouTube videos (hello, self-plug), and attend events that will expand your current knowledge base. For example, when my social campaign #GirlLove started to get serious momentum, I began taking time out of my day to research women’s issues. Through various articles, Emma Watson’s speeches (bless her soul), and books, I taught myself new things about gender inequality that I’d previously known nothing about. Investing this time helped shape the future of #GirlLove and made me a better advocate for women’s rights.
ENERGY
Due to ATP and carbohydrates, everything I’m talking about will, scientifically speaking, require energy. But honestly, don’t be that person and correct me. Investing energy into yourself refers to taking classes (like Lindsey), practicing your craft (like Lindsey), and ensuring that you’re making decisions that will benefit you (I don’t stalk her but this is probably like Lindsey too). These things require not only time but focus and repetition and therefore energy. For example, if you’re a vocalist, take singing classes, practice in the shower, and choose not to smoke cigarettes. You’re never so good at anything that you can stop putting energy into getting better. Some of the top actors in the industry still have acting coaches, choreographers still take dance classes, and The Rock still has a personal trainer. He could probably personally lift a train, but he still chooses to work with a trainer, which leads me to my next point …
MONEY