And see Sebastian.
Shit. My drunk brain forgot about him. If it hadn't, I wouldn't have opened the door for days.
He steps forward, reaching for me. "I got your package. I know you think you're not ready—"
"I'm not." I back away, because I need my resolve to end this, and the touch of his fingers will steal it. I don't even bring up Celene. I tell myself it doesn't matter, that this had to happen even if she hadn't been there yesterday. I'm not curious about why she was there. At least, these are the lies I feed myself. It almost works.
"Let me finish. I need you, Kacie. No matter what, I need you in my life. I would never ask you to give up your job. But I need to ask you to stay with me."
"I tried," I say, wanting to run into his arms. "But I can't be with you. Not now."
"Then I'll wait for you."
"Don't waste your time. I’m not going to change my mind."
"Kacie, it wouldn't be a waste."
I almost break into tears at that. "You need to leave," I say, starting to close the door on him.
He holds the door open, stopping me. His eyes are sad. "If you reconsider, let me know."
At that moment, I know he won't get over me. So I do what I have to. "I met your one condition. I spent the summer with you, and now we're done. Don't come over here again. Don't text me again. Stop messing up my life."
His jaw tenses. "You don't mean that."
I don't. But I can't say it. I can't say anything. So I close the door on him and let the tears flow.
***
For the next week, I bury myself in work. Joey has a friend getting married for the second time, and the party needs to be something new, so we're all going horseback riding. I will not think about Sebastian. I will not think about Sebastian. This has become my mantra.
We receive a referral from Dan, and I wonder if this is Sebastian's way of meeting me again. But I doubt it. He hasn't texted me since we broke up. I wish he had, but it's a stupid wish because I'm the one who told him not to. See, these kind of annoying thoughts are the reason I stay focused on Hitched and working out. Tate and I run every day, and every day he asks me how I'm doing. I say "fine," hoping that if I say it enough, it will be true.
Vi is going through her own emotional turmoil. Ever since her breakup with Chad, she's taken on more clients but doesn’t seem any happier.
"Is there any chance for you two?" I ask as we sip coffee at Starbucks one morning.
"He'd take me back," she says, picking the blueberries out of her blueberry muffin. "But I don't really love him, and I can't keep hurting him. It's more than just sex for him."
"I thought it was more for you, too."
"I wanted it to be more." She finishes the muffin and cleans her long manicured nails. "But some people just aren't right for each other, even if they're both amazing people."
"Like me and Sebastian," I say.
She grins. "I wasn't talking about you." I can tell she wants us to get back together. She doesn't really agree with the whole “not ready” thing. “True love doesn't happen every day” is her motto. Well, the motto she stole from The Princess Bride.
The bachelor party on Wednesday goes fine. It's only a hotel room with strippers, but the groom seems to enjoy it.
When the weekend arrives, Tate convinces us to go out. "I'm tired of seeing my ladies moping around," he says. "Like you said Kacie, we need to do something crazy. So we're hitting a club, and I want everyone to get laid tonight."
He's right. I should try to move on, so I put on my sexiest red dress and high heels—not my red ones because I'm still missing the one I lost at Sebastian's—and we meet up with Vi at the club. "Three shots of vodka," I tell the bartender, knowing I'll have to be very drunk to even have a chance at hooking up. Sebastian is too often on my mind. I need to drown him out.
"He's cute." Vi points at a guy dancing alone, his arms thick, his blonde hair short and curly. He doesn't even compare to Sebastian.
"I hate him," I say.
Vi frowns. "Well if you feel that strongly, there is that guy over—"
"Not him." I down another shot. "Sebastian. I hate Sebastian." Because he's too fucking perfect and has ruined all other men for me.
"Then give Curls a chance," says Vi.
"Curls?" We both laugh, and I check out the guy on the dance floor again. "You can have him."
"I most certainly will." She throws back her last shot, grabs her purse, and saunters across the dance floor. Curls notices her right away, and they start dancing.
Tate puts a hand on my shoulder. "If you can't get your mind off Sebastian, then what help are you going to be with Hitched?"
I brush his hand off. "I've worked all week."
"You've tried to work all week. I'd rather have the happy Kacie who fantasizes about her next date and keeps sexting her boyfriend, her passion bleeding into her career, then the one with a broken heart who can't find the joy in anything."