Deb glanced over at Joe, who nodded to her as if to say let him go. “She’s in room 205.”
Luke lifted his head and looked at his mother for a moment before he walked out of the waiting room. He warned himself not to run, or his mother would suspect him of being a crazed man. Hell, the jury was still out on that one. These days, that’s exactly what he felt like he was. He found her room and slowly turned the door knob. When he stepped inside the room his eyes quickly found hers. The door closed behind him and he leaned his back against it as he stared at her. He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped him.
The silence in the room was deafening as she stared back at him. She stared at him for the first time in months without hatred clouding her hazel eyes and it completely undid him. He felt like an imbecile standing there, unsure what to do with himself. He slid his hands into his pockets and took another step into the room. She didn’t say a word and he wondered if he should. He battled his conscience for a few moments and then walked towards the side of her bed. He was very aware that her eyes watched him take every step. He stood at the side of her bed and looked at her face, studying every feature, memorizing them all. Her lips were a pale pink as if they were just reclaiming their color. She had dark circles underneath her eyes, and bruising on her sweet face. Her eyes that tore through him like a sword looked sad and yet he could swear there was something in them that hadn’t been there for a while. He didn’t dare call it hope, in fear of getting his own hopes up.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” He said not recognizing his own voice.
Her fingers toyed with the hem of the blanket that covered her and she looked down.
“Thank you.” She whispered and there it was again, that awkward silence, a silence that left him questioning his every move. He was about to turn around and walk out of the room so she could rest, but before he could turn on his heel her head lifted and her eyes found his. “Luke?
“Yeah…?” He said hoarsely and held his breath as he waited for her to speak.
“I need help.” She whispered softly.
Cara’s Journal: September 22
Dear Jake,
I feel you frowning down on me. You’re cursing me, for making your mom cry. You’re restraining yourself from losing your shit for making your brother pace around like a lost puppy. I’m only sorry I made your mom cry. The truth is I’m happy you’re frowning. Screw you, you bailed on me. You’re no different than any other person I thought loved me. And if I’m being completely honest, I’m happy your brother is running in circles, serves him right for being so fucking annoying. Since you died, he’s everywhere. There is no escaping him and his worried eyes. His pleading eyes are haunting me. I’ve had nightmares about the disapproving looks he gives me. Screw him too.
I almost did it! I was so close, but the universe wasn’t finished fucking with me. I should’ve died the night I crashed the car. I was high as a kite. My new best friend never disappoints. But no such luck, I lived through. I got to see your mama cry and beg me to live. Had to swallow my pride and ask Luke for help. I’m in the hospital and I just passed the room you took your final breath in. I saw the familiar faces of the nurses and doctors that had to watch me every day you were here. They whisper and give me their condolences. Screw them too.
Now I’m sitting in the hospital waiting in the lobby for Luke to pick me up. Someone has to drive the junkie to rehab, and with one best friend six feet under, and the other about to become a distant memory,
Luke was my only option.
Screw all of you.
I still love you, you asshole.
I miss you like crazy.
Screw This.
I’m pissed.
Cara.
Chapter Three
Luke glanced at Cara out of the corner of his eye as he drove along the interstate. She was fidgeting with her hands that were lying in her lap. She was looking out the window as they drove out of New York. He turned his attention back to the road that was open ahead of them.
He was beginning to hate silence and was growing increasingly uncomfortable with only his thoughts to occupy him. He reached down to turn the radio on hoping to release some of the tension.
After she had asked him for help he immediately went to work researching different facilities that would help her kick her addiction. She hadn’t fought him on any of his suggestions and simply told him her only concern was that she didn’t want to be too far from home. He chose Lakeview Health and Treatment Center in Pennsylvania. It was the closest in-house treatment center to home. He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself, a chill traveling through her body.
“Are you cold?” He said reaching for the heat.