He nodded automatically and watched as she glanced back at her husband. Her eyes communicating with Joe’s and then he nodded in response to her. Deb followed the doctors out of the waiting room. Leah glanced at Luke before she exited the room herself leaving father and son alone.
“This is all, my fault.” Luke said once the door closed. He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but he couldn’t help it.
Joe stared at his son for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “Did you give her the pills?”
Luke turned abruptly to face his father, anger spread across his features. “Of course I didn’t.”
Joe didn’t skip a beat unfazed by his son’s fury. “Did you shove the pills down her throat?”
“No!” He said a little louder than he planned.
“Then I’m confused. How is this, your fault?” Joe said as he crossed his arms against his chest and peered at Luke.
“I knew she was taking the pills.” Luke admitted roughly. His fists clenched at his sides and he suddenly found himself wanting to punch something. He looked at the wall. That would suffice, he thought. His father remained silent as he watched him pace the room frantically looking for an outlet to unleash his anger.
“I caught her taking Jake’s pain medication and instead of taking the bottle and forcing her to stop I let her drive herself into that guardrail.” His fist collided with the wall, giving into his rage. “I could’ve stopped her. I should’ve stopped her. Instead, I…” He trailed off. Why hadn’t he? Was he too consumed by their night together that he allowed it to cloud his thoughts? He had been tied up in knots since that night at Rudy’s when she took him into the office. He couldn’t allow himself to think one clear thought afterwards. He’d been struggling with the fact that while having her for one night was all he could think about, she couldn’t even remember it. Their tryst replayed over and over in his mind and didn’t even cross hers once. She was too busy grieving his brother. Too busy trying not to live. And he was too busy dreaming of her. What kind of person did that make him?
“You what?” Joe probed as he cocked his head to the side and studied the angst in his son’s eyes.
“I failed her.” Luke whispered and looked up at his father. Joe straightened his shoulders and exhaled heavily. He took a step towards his son and slung his arm around his shoulders.
“You know what I always thought was amazing?” He asked. “That God gave your mother and I two sons, who were complete opposites of one another. It was as if he gave us the best of both worlds. Jake was a free spirit and kept us on our toes. He used to say you have to take life by the balls, and by God did he ever.” Joe smiled fondly as he remembered his son. “And then we have you, my son, that is level-headed and takes on the world’s problems as if they’re all his own. When you’re passionate about something you claim it as your responsibility. Your life’s goal is to fix what’s broken. You’re honorable and it makes me proud to think I had a hand in creating something so wonderful.” He patted him on the back and then grabbed Luke by his shoulders and turned him so their eyes met. “Son, you are not the reason Cara is lying in that bed battling her demons.”
Luke swallowed the lump in his throat before he looked away from his father as he tried to hold back his emotions. When he felt he had the slightest bit of control over himself, he met his father’s gaze again. “I don’t want to fix her because she’s broken.” He said with his own voice sounding a bit broken. “I want to help her because losing her too isn’t an option.”
Joe remained silent for a moment before he nodded, agreeing that losing Cara wasn’t something any of them would be able to withstand.
*
Deb walked to the edge of the bed that Cara was laying upon. Her sweet Cara, who had become a second daughter to her lay there helpless. Her hair was wet from what appeared to be perspiration and she leaned over and brushed the strands away from her face. She was so pale and incredibly fragile looking. Her hand trailed down the side of her soft cheek and tears fell from her eyes. Even with her eyes closed the young woman lying there looked anguished and to be suffering in silence.
“Oh my sweet Cara…” Deb said softly as she pulled the blanket up slightly as if she was tucking in a small child. “It’s okay sweetheart. It’s going to be alright.” She said soothingly as only a mother could. “We’re going to get you well, I promise.” She leaned over and pressed her lips softly against her clammy forehead.
Cara’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Deb leaned back and smiled at her as she came to. Her eyes began to focus and she looked up at Deb, confusion evident in her otherwise blank stare.
“Where am I?” She whispered throatily and tried to sit up. Her body felt as if it was bound to the bed by cinder blocks, and so she gave up sinking into the mattress, pain coursing throughout her body.