"Yes, you and James of course, Willow and Roger in July, and something to mark the event for Caleb and Brooke."
"I don't want to get married before the baby is born." I knew this would go over like a lead balloon for her, but I wasn't going to budge on my position. She couldn't force me. "James and I have already decided. We're waiting until after the baby to have our wedding."
"Oh no, Winter, you most certainly are not. I cannot accept that from one of my children. Even Caleb married Brooke as soon as they could possibly manage it."
Even Caleb? What the hell did that comment mean? Sometimes she said things which made no sense. Still a mystery to me most of the time even though we'd always had a decent mother-daughter relationship; my mom was ever a supportive parent. But I'd known she would react this way even before we showed up tonight. Her position certainly wasn't a surprise, annnnd I was regretting the madness of coming to this dinner for the purpose of telling our parents they were going to be upgraded to grandparents in about seven and a half months. I looked to James sitting to my left and asked silently for his support in backing me up.
We'd talked about it and he had agreed to let me set the pace of things. I was still in a bit of shock about his attitude about the whole thing to be honest. He accepted the pregnancy bomb like it was the best news he'd ever been given. He said it wasn't anything different from what he wanted to do with me eventually; we'd just sped up his plans up a bit. Ya think? From the moment I'd told him, James had been very relaxed about everything. If he had doubts about being a father and a husband, he didn't share them. He was probably shielding me, because he knows I'm a total mess over it. I'm scared I'll be a terrible mother. I don't know how to be a mom. Maybe his eight years on me has helped him cope with impending parenthood. I don't know…anything anymore.
When James just smiled at my mom and then at me without speaking up, I tilted my head at him and glared.
"Your thoughts, Robert and Vanessa?" My mother bypassed me altogether and went to the judge for input. Asking Vanessa for her opinion was merely a politeness, because we all knew she would agree with whatever her husband decreed. I was not thrilled with having to toe the line for the judge in any way, shape, or form. Fuck him. I'd told James that already. I had limits and Judge Beastly went far past mine a hella long time ago.
He smiled his fake reptilian smile at me and then turned to look at his wife. "Vanessa and I've discussed it at length and feel that our only son deserves a wedding that befits the Blakney name—and Blackstone, of course." I thought Vanessa looked especially miserable tonight as she sat beside her husband at my mother's dining table. If I didn't know better I'd say she was in pain—and it didn't sit well with me at all. I needed to reach out before I lost my mind over whatever was going on with her. I decided I'd speak to her alone the first chance I got. Meanwhile, the judge droned on, "As both James and Winter are descended from founding fathers of New England, the honor carries with it certain responsibilities to uphold our worthy place in history and to be seen in society well. A marriage of our children cannot be something slapped together on the haphazard efforts of a few weeks. The guest list for this wedding will need to be curated with careful attention."
The judge was dreaming if he thought I was putting on a celebrity-scale wedding event to appease his absurd political aspirations. That sort of event would definitely not be what my wedding was about. Part of me wanted to get up from the table and leave, but I held my tongue and watched the circus instead.
My mom raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow and gave the judge her version of high-society-stink-eye. "I am well aware of that, Robert, but my daughter is pregnant. We don't have the luxury of months to plan a society wedding. She's not walking down the aisle to marry James in one of those hideous maternity wedding gowns."
The judge gave it right back to her. "I agree…our children have jumped the gun by putting the baby before the wedding, Madelaine, but that matter is rather out of our hands now. I suppose we'll just have to swallow this misstep and have the wedding after my grandchild is born." He could play the sympathetic victim so well it was almost entertaining to watch. Almost.
And so incredibly rude to be talked about as if I wasn't sitting in the same fucking room as them. I now had a much better understanding of Caleb and Brooke's decision to go with marrying in secret. Maybe James and I could do something similar…
Which made me wonder why my beloved was now mute.
I elbowed him and whispered tightly, "Say something."
Startled by my poke, he quickly found his voice. "Ahh, Madelaine, we considered a few options, and honestly I'd be happy with any scenario that ends with our names on a marriage certificate." He looked over at me and winked, letting me know he was on my side. "I'd do it tomorrow in front of a justice of the peace if that's what Winter wanted. But a rushed marriage is not what she wants, nor will she consider upstaging her twin sister's wedding in July. So, we've decided to plan ours for somewhere around six months after our baby is born. He or she will be able to be there with all of us on our big day when we say our vows."
Perfectly said by my man. He reached for my hand and clasped it, giving a little squeeze. I loved him so much. My James and his understanding of how to give me what I needed—always. I probably never would grasp any logical reason for his way of loving me.
"Oh." Mom opened her mouth to say more and then shut it again. James was a master at explaining things in such a way that made arguing the point…difficult if not impossible. I almost felt a twinge of sympathy for my mother being silenced on the subject of my wedding. Almost.
I took my opportunity with Vanessa when she was in the bathroom and the others were occupied with coffee and dessert. I surprised her when she came out by being the first thing she saw when she opened the door. "Oh, my goodness, you startled me, dear."
"I know, I'm sorry for accosting you like this but I really wanted to talk to you alone." I reached out my hand and covered one of hers. I didn't want to be pushy, but I felt I needed to move quickly and make a connection with her, and touching a person is a good way to do it. "Vanessa, you know I'm a social worker, right? I really love my job. I love helping people. I don't want to offend you in any way, or make you uncomfortable, but I am feeling most profoundly that you may be in need of some support, and if I could get that support to you it would mean the world to me, and to James of course, to be able to help you. James adores you, and we'll be family very soon. We already are really, because you're my child's grandmother. You don't have to say anything to me—here or right now. I only wanted to make the offer."
"What is the offer, my dear?" I saw understanding in her eyes, so I felt confident enough to say the rest.
I slipped my business card into her hand and then closed it by folding her fingers over and hiding it inside her palm. "This is where I work. I can help you with anything that you may need it to be…or put you into contact with the right people who can. You are also invited come down and tour SBYC and decide for yourself if you might like to be a volunteer there. Sometimes people are most comfortable beginning their relationship with support services by volunteering." I smiled gently. "No pressure at all, and if what I've said is way off-base, please disregard it as my hormonal pregnant brain taking over my mouth, okay?"