They say every family has a few skeletons in their closet.
Whoever "they" are were not lying.
I may have just had an out-of-body experience at dinner tonight when my mother told us all that Caleb was the love-child of my father and a British housemaid who worked for them the year my parents married. When she died just three weeks after he was born of a brain aneurysm my parents made a pact to raise him as their firstborn, even moving to Houston for a few years to conceal the secret.
Mind-fuck much?
That one was going to take me a while to process, but some of the oddities of her behavior over the years had now started to make some sense. Still, my father's indiscretion was a total shock. My mother was adamant that his final wishes were for Caleb to never know…but now that truth was known. And we would all have to move forward and figure out what it meant for each one of us. Caleb had then gone the additional step of announcing his purchase of the old Blackwater estate with the intention of converting it into the Sanctuary at Blackwater, a safehouse shelter for women and children in need. Brooke's initial idea had morphed into a real opportunity for our family to do some good works and make a big difference. I was thrilled for about two seconds before being completely blown off my feet by him offering me to run the whole show, as the Director of the Board of Operations.
Overwhelmed, I cried some more, blaming my tears on pregnant hormones, even though nobody was buying my story. I felt like I could barely keep up with the changes. And now, with a shiny new job of not only Sherborn, but also the Sanctuary at Blackwater to organize into operational safehouses? I needed a day, or ten, to let everything sink in before I tried to do much exploration with my feelings. Caleb assured me I would have all of the help I needed, of course, but it was still a huge amount for me to take in.
James took one look at me and announced he was putting me to bed, picked me up, and carried me out of Caleb and Brooke's place in his arms. "I guess it's a good thing we live in the same building as them," I said admiring the hard set of his jaw, "because you don't have to carry me very far."
"I would carry you until my arms fell off."
"Oh, please don't do that, because I love your arms best when they are attached to your god-like physique."
He laughed as he set me down to unlock the door. "God-like? Really?"
* * *
JAMES
"Sooo god-like. Will I be seeing it in my near future?" She asked in her sweet voice.
"Normally I would say yes, of course you can see it, touch it, lick it, suck it, fuck it, but right now you're going to bed...to rest." She pouted, sticking out her bottom lip at me in protest. "Do I detect some displeasure from my woman over my orders?"
"Yes, that would be some very extreme displeasure you are detecting. Please remember that I am pregnant, and my libido is pretty much off the chain right now."
I groaned at the thought of just how fine her "off the chain" moments could be during sex. Hot as FUCK. "You can take it out on me later if you want, but I'm going to hold firm that you need some rest right now. That was a lot just now at dinner with Caleb and Brooke. I saw the look on your face—and it's still there by the way. You've just had some major shocking family news dropped in your lap, on top of taking on a huge project in the span of about twenty minutes. I'm using my prerogative as your man to see that my woman is cared for how she needs to be."
She was quiet as I led her into the bedroom and started to undress her. I loved the way she always turned so soft and pliant whenever I did this. Taking care of her was so important to me. Seeing that her needs were met and that she was comfortable was always my number one. She had far too much on her plate right now. On that matter I was very fucking certain. I doubted that she would agree with me though. I might have to call a timeout on the work with the safehouses. She was pregnant, and our baby was going to be put first regardless of anything else that was thrown at her. Human biology would make sure. And so the fuck would I.
"I love you, James, so much. You are going to be the best father ever. I hope you know that." She yawned as I slipped her nightgown over her head, doling out compliments even when she could hardly keep her eyes open.
I was going to give it my best, but even I was fucking terrified that some of my father's parenting traits might have been passed down by default onto me. I wouldn't admit that to soul, and pretty much refused to even entertain the idea. I wouldn't be anything like my father.
"I love you…so much. I cannot wait to see you holding our baby in your arms." I helped her into bed, tucked her in, and gave her a kiss. "Sleep all the sleeps now, beautiful."
She was already out like a light before I ever left the room.
I went to make myself a stiff drink…and to worry about her in peace.
* * *
WINTER
Two weeks later.
"How do you like your new school? I asked Shane and Brenna as they gobbled down bananas on crackers with peanut butter.
Shane answered first, his mouth crammed full of his snack, "It's good and I met a new friend. His name is Trace and he invited me to come to his house on Saturday, but Mom said we have to ask you if it's okay."
"I think we can arrange a playdate for two friends on a Saturday." I ruffled his new haircut and pointed to his plate. "Don't talk with your mouth full, buddy." Brenna was a complete contrast to her brother in all things. She ate her snack daintily. She did not try to speak with food in her mouth. And she looked freaking adorable in her new navy school uniform jacket and her cute bobbed haircut as she grinned happily up at me. "How about you, Brenna?"
"I made a friend too. Michelle is her name and she has a black and white pony. She showed his picture to the class. She calls him Jock."
"Oohh, ponies are the best. Soon we'll have some of our own ponies here in our barn and you can start riding lessons. Would you like that?"
"Yesssss!" they both screamed in unison.
"Good grief that's loud. Finish your snacks, and then go and change out of your uniforms like we talked about, kids. Hang up your jackets on hangers this time, please," Alanna scolded gently, "then you can play for a while before we start on our homework and chores."
Watching the scene before me was pure joy. Alanna and her twins were now safely installed as residents of Safehouse-Sherborn. One of my very first acts as soon as James signed it over to me was to call Alanna and offer her a place to live where the kids could go to a good school, and she could work for me, indefinitely if she wanted. When she accepted my offer, she became the very first employee of Safehouse-Sherborn, working tirelessly to help in setting up the main office, ordering furniture, equipment, supplies, but mostly just organizing the zillion tasks it would take to get the place ready to open for operations. She was a godsend really, and I could now sleep at night knowing the kids were safe and thriving in an environment where they could grow and just be six-year-olds in peace.
Again…pure joy for me to witness. Good things were starting to happen and it was all thanks to my James I realized, as I settled in at my desk and got back to work.
You never know when people will finally find the precise moment to ask for help, but I've learned to be grateful whenever it happens. It's the very first step, and it doesn't matter so much when as much as starting. For my future mother-in-law that moment happened when she called me tearfully from her car and said she wanted to divorce her husband.
"I—I can't do it anymore, Winter. I am leaving him…today with your help if it's possible."