"Whatever you need, Caleb, you have it," I said.
But he still had some more to say. "You are also my best friend, and even I had no clue about you and Winter. Brooke did though. She asked me about the two of you more than once. I just didn't see it and that bothers me, but I am really happy for you guys. Win told me last night was the first time the two of you were together, but I don't care about that part. I really don't. I might not want to think about you and my sister…well, yeah…since it's none of my business, but I know you love her and that's what's important to me. Seriously. Go and be with the one you love and never look back. Don't waste one more fucking moment of your life in a situation that takes you away from your happiness. I know I won't."
I had a thought as I got up from my seat to embrace my friend in a sappy-assed bro-hug…eventually Caleb and I would be real brothers.
"Why was Lucas so hostile with you? Is there some kind of past issue between you two I should know about?"
Before I answered her, I remembered what Caleb had said to me at the hospital. I also thought about how Winter was cuddling on my couch right now, watching the hockey game with me. She was in my apartment, and she would be in my bed tonight. By choice. I had her legs stretched across my lap and her silky hair between my fingers as I played in it. Everything felt right for once. I didn't want to risk any of what we had attained in the last day and a half.
I won't risk it.
"He doesn't approve of me being with you because he knows where my dick has been in the past."
Silence. And then quietly, "Where has it been?"
"Nowhere important. I haven't been with anyone in the way I am with you for years. That's the truth." I hoped my answer was satisfactory, but figured it probably wasn't.
"I never knew you to date anyone after Leah, so what did you do for sex—who did you—where did you get it from?" As much as her questions pained me, I had to appreciate that she'd been paying attention to who I wasn't with, for five long years. I was a lucky bastard.
"Women I didn't know…and didn't care enough to know." I hated talking to her about them. It felt so very filthy a thing to bring others into our relationship, inserting them between the pureness of what we had.
"Escorts?" she asked with a tilt of her head.
"Along those lines, yes, but always in a safe, controlled environment with rules in place."
"So, like a kinky sex-club date or something, and Lucas saw you there?"
"Something like that. You would have to ask him, but I really hope you don't. I am not feeling your brother at the moment. He can fuck off for what he said to you earlier."
"He was being a jerk for real. I don't understand why so territorial though. It's not like Lucas to judge others so harshly. Why care about who you date when you're single?"
"Oh, he doesn't care about who I dated. He's worried about you being hurt or harmed in some way by a kinky fucker like me."
She changed her position so she could face me, and put her hand to my cheek. "Did you just refer to yourself as a kinky fucker, James?"
"I did." Her expression went from surprise to amusement. "Do you think I'm a kinky fucker when I'm with you, beautiful?"
"I don't know, because you are incomparable to other men for me. I don't want to equate what we do together to a thing that's been defined by a label. I think the way you are is just right for me, though, and I know you'd never harm me intentionally. Please don't ever change your kinky-fucker-self on my account, James Blakney." I love this girl. She couldn't be more amazing.
I kissed her, because there were no words that would have been good enough. So, I showed her instead, pressing her onto the couch and helping her out of her clothes until she was splendidly naked. I kissed her everywhere, worshipping the body I had grown to know intimately in such a short period of time…but would crave indefinitely until I took my very last breath.
After I made her come the second time, when she was in that boneless sensual subspace I loved for her to be in, I arranged her how I wanted. Pulled to the very edge of the couch with her arms up and over the back for holding on to, her ankles pressed against her ass with her long legs spread wide, her pussy wet and ready for being fucked by my cock.
We both watched me sink it deep into her tight, wet cunt. Over and over again, the metal doing its job, dragging against our hot flesh on sensual overload, until I was dying for release. But hoping it didn't come and end this moment in time with her. I couldn't stop it though. Eventually, biology took over my body. I lost myself to my own kind of subspace as I came powerfully hard inside her, a handful of her long hair wrapped in each of my hands. Her hair pulled back, her graceful neck exposed for her throat to be licked and marked with my teeth. Kissed and loved…and told with words all that she meant to me.
After a while, I carried her sleeping into my bedroom and put her in my bed. I watched her peaceful breathing and wondered yet again, how we'd found ourselves here. It seemed impossible to believe she was finally mine, but it was also terrifying to fear this might not last. I was confident I could be with her sexually and keep myself in check. I'd just done it. No restraints or discipline of any kind—and it was fucking hot while we were in it. I didn't need any more than that from her. Winter was my perfect partner just as she was. Always.
I realized my head was fucked from what Leah did. I knew it was wrong to bring my past into my new relationship with Winter. It wasn't fair to her. And so, I knew what I had to do. I wouldn't try to change her for my needs—I'd change myself to meet hers. But there was no regret. Only the most wonderful peace. After many dark years.
But my terror was fucking real, and it was always with me. I couldn't go through that again. I couldn't lose my Winter for any reason. Which was why wanting my ring on her finger and my name at the end of hers had become my new obsession, and it had absolutely nothing to do with her trust fund. There would be no on-paper-only marriage between us.
One week later.
"You know what the best part of the game was for me?" Winter asked as we came in from the Bruins game at the Garden to have a quiet dinner at home.
"Was it Marchand's hat trick in the third period?"
"Um no…Licker had to go and bring out his tongue again. Seriously? Why would that be my best part of the game? Dumb, James."
I laughed at my beautiful girl who was turning out to be quite the hockey fan, impressing the hell out of me. Deadly serious about ice-time, there was no talking or otherwise distractions of any kind allowed while the puck was in play. But during intermissions she would chat up whoever was next to us in our seats. She'd hit it off with an older woman who was there with her husband and was deep into a conversation with her when the special holiday kiss-cam found us. Winter was so involved in her convo with her new friend she would not stop to kiss me even though I kept trying. It was hilarious, and the crowd loved it. When the kiss-cam came back to us a second time, Winter was ready for them. She jumped in my lap and made out with me in a big show for the cameras. I needed to find the clip and save it in case they ran it on NHL Live later tonight.
My phone pinged with a picture and a message, and when I comprehended what I was seeing, I showed it to her. "Win, you need to see this." We looked at the screen together.
The picture was of Caleb and Brooke in the doorway of the stone church on the island. At their wedding? Caleb's lips were pressed to the back of her hand as Brooke smiled at him, completely in love. The message said simply: We took the advice of a very wise man, and decided to hold on to our happiness, and each other, starting tonight. With Much Love, Caleb & Brooke Blackstone xoxo