I wanted him all and soon he pushed so deep the base of his cock caressed my clit and I came hard. Crying out, I closed my eyes and thrusted my hips upward for more. Judd filled me then left me just enough to cause a panic before filling me again. Slowly, he pushed me towards another orgasm and I smiled at him as I felt it coming.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured, gripping onto him as I came hard again. “The most beautiful thing in the world.”
As Judd stared at me, I knew his control was breaking. His thrusts were faster, harder, almost desperate in their intensity. Holding on, I soaked in the feel of him until he came.
Our bodies shook as the waves of pleasure lingered. When our eyes met though, I knew there was a reason he dropped so many condoms on the nightstand. I held his warm gaze and smiled.
“I want more,” I told him, eliciting a grin.
As hours passed, I lost track of how many orgasms I enjoyed. Lost track of everything except how his body moved inside mine. Again and again, as if we were starving and finally found nourishment in each other’s arms. Long after exhaustion teased at the edges of my thoughts and my body grew tender from our lovemaking, I still wanted everything he would give me.
Despite Judd’s past as a redneck fucker, he was unbearably careful with me. I felt how many times he struggled to restrain the hunger I saw in his eyes. He wanted to simply take, but never did because I was his angel. Every time he came inside me, he whispered his pet name for me and I felt a little more like someone else. Someone I didn’t recognize, but desperately needed to be.
Long after we had sated our needs, our bodies remained together, teasing and testing. Propped up over me, Judd pulled his cock from me then pressed achingly slow back inside. In and out, each time allowing the head to tease my clit before he angled back into me. While the pleasure built, I explored his chest. I’d had many fantasies about touching the hard muscled frame.
On the right side of his stomach was a tattoo of a decorative cross with a black snake curled around it. I suspected it signified evil tainting grace. Was this how Judd viewed us? Was he the devil tempting na?ve Adam and Eve? No matter his feelings, I was tainted long ago. Often I felt ruined, but not with Judd. There were moments when I had no past or future. No fear or shame. It was just me and my knight.
Chapter Fourteen
Judd wasn’t sleeping very deep when I crawled out of bed. I didn’t blame him for being restless. Between the raging storm and my loud neighbors, the apartment was loud.
Even with Judd next to me, I couldn’t calm my growing panic. The noise was too loud and I felt like people were watching me. Mostly, I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I had to get away. Hiding in the bathtub with the door locked, I pulled the curtain shut and tried to push away the voices.
I heard them though. Not the neighbors, but the men from the motel. The way they would play their radio loudly outside my room and knock on the door. Tommy would tell me what he planned for me and how flexible he hoped I was and how he would share me because he was a nice guy like that. Hiding in the bathroom then too, I’d cover my ears and pretend Farah was holding me and we were together and safe.
Even promising myself I was safe in Ellsberg, it was as if I was back in the motel. Around the edges were also the memories of the biker gang. How loud they would get in the evenings. How they would play their music and drink until they were screaming and laughing at everything. When they got so loud and drunk, they made me and Farah scream too.
Somewhere in my mind, I understood I was far away from them. Despite knowing I was safe, I felt their eyes on me. They were watching and laughing. Hiding my face in my lap, I struggled to find my way out of the darkness and back to Judd. Instead, I was the ruined girl returned to her dad and told I’d make a good whore.
Judd called my name through the door, but I didn’t answer. I wanted so badly to be someone else. I wanted to be beautiful and special. I wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror without shame. I wanted it all, but I was just fooling myself. Just because Farah made her dreams come true didn’t mean I would. Farah was always special, but I never was and nothing had changed.
The pop of the door busting in startled me, yet I kept my face hidden as Judd pushed aside the shower curtain. His hand caressed the back of my head then he whispered my name again. Wanting to ignore him, I felt like I’d ruined our first time by being ruined before he ever met me.
Hearing something like panic or hurt in his voice, I didn’t ignore him. He thought I was angry with him or he had done something wrong when in fact he did everything right. Our first time was only beautiful because of him. I was the ruined thing, but he couldn’t see past his own self-hatred.
Lifting my face, I sighed. “It’s so loud.”
“Why didn’t you wake me if you were scared?”
Shaking my head, I just stared at the wall until a bang from next door sent me an inch off the ground. I turned to Judd and wanted him to understand because I knew he didn’t. His gaze revealed only pain as he recalled our every moment together.
Damaged and the Knight (Damaged #2)
Bijou Hunter's books
- Lost Highway
- Ramsey Security (Ramsey Security #1-3)
- Sunday Morning (Damaged #7.5)
- Broken Memphis (Little Memphis MC, #2)
- Damaged and the Saint (Damaged #7)
- Junkyard Dog
- Damaged and the Bulldog (Damaged #6)
- Damaged and the Cobra (Damaged #3)
- Damaged and the Dragon (Damaged #5)
- In the Wind
- Little Memphis (Little Memphis MC #1)
- Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)