Age was relative. My ID might read nineteen, but I felt like an old man while stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom. I emerged wearing sweats and a long sleeve shirt. A long drug induced sleep left me cold and sore. My eyes remained swollen, but I saw Bailey jump up from the couch where she sat with Jodi and Sawyer.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, rushing to my side.
“Like shit, but the medicine helped.”
My head throbbing, I still basked in the beauty of Bailey’s upturned face. I knew she needed reassurance and I really wanted her in my arms. My lips met hers and a minute passed before Sawyer made gagging sounds.
Bailey glared back at her sister who smiled. “Jealous that I have a man?”
“I’m seven, so no.”
I couldn’t help laughing. Even Bailey grinned a little while Jodi walked to me.
“You got your ass handed to you, but still won the fight. I like that about you, Nicky.”
“Thanks,” I sighed. “My dream is to win the fight without getting my ass handed to me. Less painful that way.”
Jodi grinned. “Want coffee?”
“Sure, but I can…”
Waving me off, Jodi walked to the kitchen and returned with a cup of coffee. By then, I was on the couch with Bailey on one side caressing my aching head and Sawyer on the other side examining my busted knuckles.
“Not used to being babied, are you?” Jodi asked, handing me the coffee.
“No.”
“We take care of our men,” Sawyer said, kissing my hand. “You’re so brave and strong.”
Bailey hissed at her little sister who laughed so hard she snorted. I grinned at them then focused on downing the coffee and waking from my druggie fog.
“When he’s feeling better, you’ll come down for lunch,” Jodi said as Sawyer stopped teasing her sister and joined her mom at the door. “Leftover pulled pork sandwiches and whatever seafood salad Farah didn’t eat last night.”
Bailey smiled at her mother then flipped off her sister. Once the door shut behind them, my girl studied me.
“If there was a fire and you could only save one person, would you pick me or Sawyer?”
“I’d save you and not just because you put out either.”
Laughing, Bailey kissed my bruised cheek. “Are we okay?”
“You tell me.”
“I do love you. I wasn’t just saying that last night to make things better. I know you and I love you.”
My fingers explored the delicate curves of her tanned face. I still couldn’t believe Bailey offered me a chance at her heart.
“It’s not your money or family,” I said, my voice raw. “It’s not even your beauty. I love everything about you. I love the way you see things and how you react to them. Other people might think you’re nuts or rude, but I think it’s all perfect. I want to be enough for you.”
“You are.”
Seeing the worry in Bailey’s blue eyes, I didn’t respond. She wanted so much to believe in us. When I didn’t say anything, Bailey cuddled next to me.
“Farah has gotten super fat.”
“I wouldn’t know since I haven’t seen her in months.”
“Well, she has.”
“She’s pregnant though.”
“I’m not looking to make a baby until I’m a year out of college,” Bailey said then added, “At least.”
Wrapping her in my arms, I said the words she didn’t want to hear. “I don’t know if I want kids.”
Bailey immediately squirmed out of my hold and frowned at me. “Why the hell not? You’d make a better father than my loser brothers.”
I shrugged. “Your brothers know how to be part of a family because your parents showed them the way. I don’t know if I have it in me to be any better than my dad.”
“Bullshit. You’re wrong.” When I said nothing, her expression softened. “Nick, you’d be a great dad. It’s why you can tolerate Sawyer when she’s so awful.”
I grinned slightly. “I don’t want to be like my dad, but maybe he didn’t want to be like him either. Maybe it’s something inside us that keeps us from being good parents. Like a genetic thing. I mean it’s so easy for me to hurt people in cage fights. I never feel bad. Maybe I’m too damaged to really care about anyone.”
“You care about me.”
“And I still mess that up.”
Studying my face, Bailey smiled. “This is what’s going to happen. You and I will finish college. You’ll get your teaching career settled and I’ll manage the hell out of the family business. When things are right, we’ll try having a baby. I’ll want it and you’ll give me what I want because you love me.”
Staring at her, I didn’t react to her plan because my greatest fear was ruining someone like my father did to me.