“I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered, cuddling closer. “You and me are the real thing. I’ll wait until you’re ready to stop fighting. No more bluffing.”
Eyes barely open now, he mumbled, “I shouldn’t have said that to you in the locker room. I shouldn’t have walked away like that.”
“It’s okay. Just sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of me and everything will be better.”
Nick watched me as his breathing slowed and his eyes struggled to remain open. Finally, they closed and I knew he was asleep.
Watching him rest, I thought about how wrong I’d been. When I imagined having a man, I wanted him to worship me. I saw him needing me more than breathing. In my head, only that kind of love was special.
Life wasn’t a dream though. Reality came with pain. Nick was better than I imagined, but remained lost in a way I didn’t know how to fix. When he kissed me in the parking lot, I only hoped for a second chance. My focus was my pain at losing him. Now I focused on his pain at losing me.
Nick grew up with nothing and I couldn’t even imagine his life. Where he went hungry, I never did without. A childhood without love from amazing parents wasn’t something I understood. Seeing the pain in Nick’s eyes, I understood on a basic level how he suffered and needed more for me than I did from him. Logically, it made sense. In my heart, I was confused.
Leaving Nick to sleep, I walked outside to where the dogs followed Cooper around in the darkness.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Cooper frowned. “You shouldn’t be out in the dark.”
“Fuck off. I do what I want.”
Grinning now, he tugged at my ponytail then returned to playing with the dogs. “Farah wasn’t feeling well after dinner, so we’re staying here tonight.”
“Is she sick or is it a preggers thing?”
“Preggers, but I didn’t want to drive her home. All the bouncing would make her puke.”
“She eats too many corndogs.”
Cooper threw a ball and the dogs scrambled after it. “Corndogs are out. She’s really into Eggos now, but I think it was the seafood salad at dinner that made her want to barf. She went to town on it.”
“Will you still want her when she’s super fat?”
Cooper rolled my eyes. “You’re so shallow. I feel sorry for Nick.”
The tears came quickly, startling us both. He moved quickly, hugging me to him.
“What’s wrong? Is Nick being an asshole?”
“No, he’s messed up, Coop. Like Farah and Tawny. All broken inside from a shitty childhood. Mom warned me, but I don’t know how to help him. I feel stupid and selfish to want anything from him.”
“What does he want?” Cooper asked, caressing my head.
“Besides me, I don’t know.”
“I’m confused about the problem. You want him, right?”
“Yeah, but I hate him fighting. I gave him an ultimatum and…” When Cooper rolled his eyes, I pushed him away. “I was trying to protect him. You put him in the hospital to protect Farah and she didn’t even need protecting. You’re an asshole.”
“Old news. Let’s go back to how you fucked up recently.”
Wiping my eyes, I kicked him in the leg. Cooper just laughed like when we were kids and I tried to kick his ass.
“I love him,” I said when Cooper kept laughing.
His expression softened. “You’re cute when you have feelings. Lady and the Tramp kind of cute.”
“How do I make him happy?”
“How the hell would I know? I’ve talked to the guy three times.”
“You suck,” I said, walking away.
Cooper threw the ball in my direction and the dogs went running. The stampede stopped me and I turned to find Cooper grinning.
“Does he love you?”
“Yes.”
“Then you’ll figure it out. Just relax and listen to him, but not to what he says. If he’s like Farah, sometimes he won’t say what he means. He might not even know what he means. Be patient because they’re fucked up and we’re not. Or at least they have reasons for being fucked up while we’re just arrogant shits.”
“What do you mean by ‘we?’ Speak for yourself, douche.”
Sighing like a put-upon bitch, Cooper retrieved the ball from a slobbering Rottweiler’s mouth.
“Nick said you were his first choice. That was after you were probably a bitch to him a few times…” Cooper paused when I glared at him. “Lucky guess. Anyway, even after the shit with me, he waited for you. The guy isn’t going to bail the first time you fuck up. Or by now, the hundredth time you’ve fucked up.”
“Eat shit, Coop the Poop.”
My brother laughed as I stormed up the stairs to the apartment. When I got to the top, I smiled at him to say thank you. He responded by flipping me off.
Leaving my brother to be an asshole, I slipped inside and tiptoed to the bed where Nick was still out cold. I joined him in bed and decided to listen to Cooper. Even if my brother was a jerk, he knew a little something about love. Besides, his advice couldn’t any worse than what I’d tried already.
Chapter Twenty Four ~ Nick