“Yeah, okay, Maddox.” My voice is just a whisper, but he hears me. He gives me another one of his nods before closing off his face again.
When we get back inside, everyone is standing around Izzy’s bed, waiting for her to wake up. I know she won’t be happy, but these people need to know this isn’t the first time we’ve been in this position. So, I open up and spill my best friend’s secrets. I watch as the men in the room grow rigid and the mood is waist deep with fury. My eyes move from Axel’s wrecked expression to Beck’s stoic one. He’s just looking at me. His face is expressionless except for his eyes. His eyes are begging me to come to him, to let him be my rock. When I give him a small shake of my head, his lips thin, and he drops his gorgeous eyes to the floor.
Just like that, regardless of my stupid, no strings rule, my heart breaks in two.
And, I have no one to blame but myself.
CHAPTER 4
Beck
Bullshit.
Yeah, that’s what my life’s been like the last few weeks. Absolute fucking bullshit. Dee’s walls are up higher than ever. Last weekend was the real kicker. I showed up at her condo with movies, snacks, and flowers. The fight in her eyes when she opened the door, shocked to find me standing there, was almost painful for me.
The smile on my face when she answered the door died a slow and painful death when she told me she wasn’t free. Something about ‘Stewart from the office’ was on his way over. I checked the time again and frowned when I realized ‘Stewart from the office’ wasn’t coming over to get work done. Not at eight o’clock on a Saturday night.
What could I say? Not a damn thing, because she made it clear she didn’t want a relationship, and whatever progress I had made went poof the second Izzy got hurt by her ex-husband. So I smiled, handed her the crap I bought, and left with my pride intact.
Then I sat in my truck like a goddamn stalker and waited. No ‘Stewart from the office’ ever showed up. The lights went out, and her house went dark and silent.
I’m pissed that she’s using excuses to push me away, but I’m even more pissed that she isn’t letting me be there when I know she needs me. She’s slipping so far away that I’m not sure anyone will be able to catch her this time.
I can tell she’s going through some heavy shit. Izzy and Axel have finally worked out their issues. The boys and I have a running bet on how long it’s going to take for those two to either get hitched or knocked up. I know she is happy for her friend; she genuinely looks happy when she’s around Izzy, so whatever her issues are, they have nothing to do with jealousy.
With their reconciliation, Izzy moved out of the condo she shared with Dee. I could tell Dee’s heart was breaking when she helped her best friend pack up her life and move in with Ax. No one else noticed because she kept the smile in place and the laughter flowing. But I knew. I saw it the second I walked in the door and all I could think about was taking her in my arms and easing her hurt. The worst part was the fear in her eyes when everyone went to leave. I could feel the terror rolling off of her, but she just smiled weakly and shut the door.
Looking down at the mess I’ve made out of the kitchen table I’ve been busy putting together, I throw the screwdriver against the wall and stand up from the garage floor. Note to self, no home improvement projects when I’m pissed off.
“Goddammit!” With a kick that would make David Beckham proud, the table I’ve spent the last two weeks making from scratch is nothing but a good, wood burning pile.
“What’s that wood done to you?”
My head shoots up, and I watch as Coop walks into the garage and picks up a piece of wood before laughing softly and dropping it back into the ruined remains.
“Didn’t work the way I thought it would.” Ha. How true is that?
“You talking about the little Tim the Tool Man project or Dee?”
“That transparent, huh?” I huff, and walk over to the fridge I’ve got set up outside and grab two beers.
“Yeah, Beck. Not sure why you even waste your time when you can have different pussy every night.” He lifts up his drink, giving a toast to the fact that he’s a complete man-whore.
“Not everyone is content waiting for the next outbreak of crabs.”
He laughs awkwardly before adjusting his crotch. Disgusting. If I didn’t know how anal he is about getting checked, I might be concerned that he is really worried.
“Funny. You need to wake up out of this funk you’ve been in. What happened to the guy that couldn’t wait to get to a new town and start fresh? Hell, you didn’t even really date back in Cali.” He shakes his head and laughs. “No pussy is worth this much work.”
“Damn, Coop. I didn’t know you were such a giant douchebag.”
He doesn’t even flinch at my sarcastic tone. If anything, his smile gets larger.