“I don’t know what you want me to say here.” Even though my words are whispered, by the look on his face, I might as well have just screamed them at him. “I don’t think I’m capable of being the person that you want me to be.”
“Are you serious? I don’t want you to be just anyone, Dee. I’m not sitting here demanding that you be anyone else but YOU.” He walks over to where I’m standing, taking each measured step slow and steady. His hands are relaxed at his side, and his body is screaming comfort. “All I want is you.” He stresses with his deep velvet voice, caressing my ears and warming my heart. If anyone has the power to make me believe, it’s this man right here in front of me.
When his feather-light kisses dance across my face, it’s almost my undoing. He takes my head between his large hands and tilts it to give him better access. I look into his pleading eyes, and silently beg him to stop.
“I’m so scared of you, John Beckett.”
His eyes widen a fraction before an emotion I’ve seen a few times takes over his face. He looks at me as if I’m his whole damn world and he isn’t afraid to admit it.
“You’ve got nothing to be scared of with me. Not one damn thing. You’ve had me in knots for months, Dee. Fighting for you, us, and this relationship might drive me mad at times, but it’s a fight I want if it ends with you in my arms.” Between his words and the soothing promise, I find myself relenting. Knowing this might blow up in my face, and prove once again that I’m right about men, doesn’t even bother me. I crave him just as badly as he craves me.
His lips meet mine, and it’s a kiss full of every ounce of love he’s been trying to convince me of but I’ve been too afraid to see. I’m still terrified of the unknown, but when I look into his eyes I know he means what he says. I can feel the emotion pouring over me, drowning me, and I want more than anything to believe him.
“Tell me you’re mine. Tell me that you’ll stop running and working on those damn walls so hard. Just try. That’s all I’m asking, please.” He doesn’t even give me a chance to answer him. Scooping me into his arms, he carries me up his stairs, down the hallway, and into his bedroom without removing his lips from mine. He places me softly on the mattress, and continues to look at me with his eyes blazing, just taking me in. I go to sit up and remove my clothes, but my movements must have looked like another flight attempt, because he places his hand lightly on my chest lightly, his eyes begging. “Please, Dee. Take a chance on us, and I swear to you, Baby, you won’t regret a day of it.”
Sighing deeply, I look him in the eyes and hold his stare. Yes, I’m scared out of my mind, but if I leave here tonight and deny him this, I know I’ll regret it until the day I die. “I’ll try.” The smile that takes over his face makes my heart skip a beat. His eyes crinkle at the corners and lose all traces of worry. He looks like a man that has the world. And, in that second, I feel lighter than I have in years. I feel like I’m the one who has the world.
“Thank you.” Kiss. “Thank you.” Kiss. “God, thank you.” I laugh when he pulls back from peppering my face with kisses, and I see the smile is still firmly in place. “You won’t regret this. I’m going to make you the happiest woman in the damn world, Dee. Just you wait.”
We come together roughly. I pull him down on top of me, and his solid weight hits me, causing my breath to leave with a whoosh. God, I’ve missed this feeling that only he gives me. We’re a mess of limbs and flying clothes. The room echoes with our loud kisses, panting, and moaning. Neither one of us wants to miss one second of our newfound connection.
It doesn’t take long before we are both finally naked. His heat warms me straight down to my core, and I want to cry when I think about all the time I’ve stupidly denied this man. “Hurry, please! I need you.”
“Shh, soon.” His warm breath against my ear causes me to shiver, and when he pulls my lobe into his mouth, biting slightly before lightly licking up the shell of my ear, my toes curl. He laughs when I push my fingers into his hair and roughly pull his head back to my lips.
“I need you now. I need to feel you take me hard.” God, I need him. I’m not even ashamed of my begging.
“I’m not taking you hard, yet. Not this time. This time, I’m going to show you just what it feels like to be loved.” His words have my eyes widening, but when his lips trace down my body in a trail of fire and latch onto my clit, I forget every second of fear that had previously washed over me. His talented lips and tongue feast at my center, and I lose myself in the pleasure that overcomes me. It doesn’t take long for our normal, out of control lovemaking to take over. No matter what, the carnal passion we always create together blows to maximum proportions. He licks, sucks, and nibbles, causing me to scream a few times when the pleasure almost becomes too intense. No matter how close I get he keeps pulling me back, denying me what my body is craving.