Swinging the bat, I enjoy the cracking sound of impact. The morning is chilly, but I warm quickly by whacking at one ball after another. Right here, right now, my life feels easy. No longer am I a man with an angry woman and a scared kid at home. My life is again as simple as being Ford's little brother and doing what we do whenever there's time to waste.
In the cage next to mine, Ford stops before I do. By the time I turn off the machine, my brother is sitting on a picnic table checking his phone. He seems different lately. More grown up, which is stupid since we stopped being kids over a decade ago. Despite the ages on our IDs, we lived like teen boys for years. Up all night, drinking and smoking pot, starting fights when we were bored, banging chicks without even pretending we wanted a date. We were free, and I loved that life. I might miss it too, but I can never give up Bebe and Lula. Not even in exchange for the best day Ford and I spent free.
"Damn, it's cold out," he says when I sit next to him.
"You're getting old."
Ford grins. "You're so adorable in love. Like a teddy bear with a heart tummy."
"Eat shit."
Ford pokes my stomach then frowns. "I thought you'd giggle when I did that. You know, like the fucking bear from the laundry commercials."
"You're pushing things, asshead."
"You deserve all the teasing and more. I put up with too much shit when Shay came into my life."
"I still think she's using you for your cock. I doubt she can even stand listening to you talk."
"Bebe told everyone that she's using you while she builds up her savings to get a place of her own."
"Fuck off."
Ford laughs then keeps laughing until I punch him. He shoves me off the bench then laughs again.
"Wanna throw down?" I ask, wiping gravel from my jeans. "I can take you, old man."
"Sit down and shut up."
I never know why I do what he says. I just do.
Ford sighs. "What happens when she forgives you?"
"I'll have my woman back. That's what."
"You keep wanting to make shit easy then you freak the fuck out when it's complicated. Little bro, this thing with Bebe will never be easy. You'll be stressed and you'll feel overwhelmed, but you can't lose your shit. You need to grow the fuck up."
"Eat shit."
Ford grins. "I'm planning to send Shay and the boys out of town the day after Christmas. She's already packing stuff. I'm going to tell people she's visiting her mom in Florida, but I'm looking for another place. Somewhere she can stay if I don't make it through this thing. I need to know she's safe and the boys will go to a good school."
I glance back nervously at a shuffling sound but find only leaves scratching against the concrete.
"You got all this shit planned out, huh?" I mutter to Ford.
"I want to send Bebe and Lula with them. That way if we die, they can watch out for each other. If one of us makes it out, we'll take care of them."
Thinking of Bebe and Shay together is a better outcome than them scared and alone. "Okay."
Ford nods, probably relieved I don't ask a million questions.
"I'm figuring out where to send them. I want somewhere small, but not too small. A place where money will go a long way, so they can live off our savings for years. I want them away from Arkansas, so Wolfman or Trigger will never find them."
"Sounds good."
"I'm not planning to die here," Ford says, standing up. "If Joker goes down early, I'm not dying just to make a point. Without him, we're fucked. Madden might be solid. He might be able to take out his dad and shove everyone out and be our president, but I don't trust him. I'm not going to war for him. I could've ditched Little Memphis when we found out Trigger was pulling his shit. We stayed for Joker and Lucky and our guys. Not Madden or to get our asses buried in the quarry. We're fighting for our friends, but I refuse to put my woman and boys into danger."
"I'll talk to Bebe tonight."
Ford gives me a little smile, and I realize he's been worrying for a while.
"Lucky was hinting he'll send Jenn and the kids away closer to New Year. I think that might be too late. I don't trust Trigger when he tells Madden the plan is to wait on Joker until after the holidays. While he probably trusts Madden, Trigger can't wait that long. He's nervous. It's why he smiled so much at breakfast this morning. Every day he lets Joker live is another day the tables could turn."
"Let's go after Trigger before Christmas then."
"I would if it was me, but Joker isn't calling all the shots. He's waiting on Madden and Ginger. Stuck between two sides that don't really give a shit about him. That puts him in a bad place."
"And we're standing next to him, ready to get killed based on a lot of maybes."
"You want to run?"
Shaking my head, I can't take the coward's way out. "Joker put his ass out there to bring us into the club. Now we'll put our asses on the line for him."
Ford sighs. "You don't have to stay. I can watch Joker's back, and you take the girls and kids out of here."
"Yeah, I'll just ditch my brother and friends and run off to somewhere sunny. Asshole."
"Don't cry, turd. I was just giving you an out because of all the love and shit I feel deep inside for you."
"I think I'm gonna punch you."