"Will we come back, or will you come to be with us?" I ask, unable to help myself.
Pax cups my cheek with his rough hand. "There are only two things that'll keep me from you and Tallulah. Jail and that ain't an issue in Little Memphis most days. You know the other thing, but I won't say it and upset you."
Caressing my lips with his thumb, Pax studies my face. "Lucky and Joker have plans. They know how to keep their people safe. Taco and the others too. I can't get into more, and I can't have you telling anyone. Like I said before, trust is a tricky thing these days."
"I understand."
"Yeah, you do," he says, leaning over and kissing me again.
Like a dope, I let him press his lips against mine. Heat rushes over me, and I wish we could make up tonight. Just roll around in his bed for a few hours then cuddle up in mine until Tallulah wakes up. Forgiving him would be so easy.
"Stop," I say, standing up and forcing space between us.
"Why?"
"Because you F U C K E D up, and I'm not over that yet."
Giving me a grumpy frown, he whines, "It feels like you've been mad a long time."
"That's because you have the attention span of a toddler," I say, tugging at his blond hair. "It's only been a few days, and I need more time to rebuild trust. I gave into you too fast last time. This time around, I'm playing it smarter."
When Pax moves towards me too quickly, I grab a frying pan from the clean side of the sink.
"Are you going to hit me?" he asks, grinning.
"Yeah," I say, struggling not to laugh. "I'm going to go A P E S H I T crazy on you. Prepare for the beat down."
Pax steps closer. "Go ahead and hit me. All I want is one more kiss before bed."
"I'll kiss you, but only because I'm trying to forgive you. A kiss might help."
"Then kiss me now."
"No," I mumble, setting down the frying pan.
"Why?"
"You messed with my heart. Now I'm messing with yours. Soon we'll be even. You're welcome."
I hurry past him before he forces a kiss on me. If he keeps trying, eventually I won't deny my hunger any longer.
Tallulah and Pax goof around in the backyard while I pack up our clothes. We'll live out of a suitcase until it's time to leave.
By the time I join them outside, they've decided we need to eat out at Burger King. Since this means I don't have to cook, I happily grab my coat. We spend the evening out like a family. The urge to give into Pax gets harder with every smile we share.
At dinner, we wear Burger King crowns. Pax looks silliest in his, but Tallulah thinks he's perfection. Seeing him with that crown on his head, I get the urge to climb over the table and into his lap. I imagine how his arms will wrap around me and I'll be free. The fantasy lies, but I don't give in. Not yet.
"Problem?" Pax growls at a guy checking me out. "Do you want to talk outside?"
Grin disappearing, the guy stares at his food while praying Pax won't push the topic.
A frowning Tallulah doesn't understand what is happening.
Noticing the expression on her little face, Pax fixes her crown. "I don't like men looking at your pretty mommy. If someone tries, I want to smack them around."
Smiling, Tallulah shakes her head. "Hitting people is wrong."
"What if they hit you first?"
"Then it's okay."
"I'll let that guy hit me first. Then I'll shove him into the trashcan."
Tallulah laughs at him. "He's too big for the trashcan."
"Oh, I bet I could get him to fit."
The topic then turns to meeting Santa. Tallulah is immediately terrified, and Pax says she's smart to be scared of sitting on a stranger's lap. By the time we arrive home, Tallulah is talking about drawing a picture for everyone for Christmas. She is especially excited about the one for Folgers.
Once Tallulah is in bed by eight, I know the kiss is coming. Shocked by how flustered I am, I clean the kitchen. Pax appears from downstairs and walks to Tallulah's bedroom to check on her.
When he returns, I casually glance at him and put on a fake smile. He doesn't return it. Taking the sponge from my hand, he tosses it in the sink. Pax wraps me in his arms, and his lips glue to mine.
Not in the mood for a peck before bed, Pax kisses me like this is only the first step before we head downstairs.
My mind swims from the intensity of the kiss. Gripping his shirt, I relish the heat of his embrace. Everything is so damn perfect.
Suddenly, he pulls his lips away and licks them. Stepping back, Pax sighs.
"Night, baby."
Pax leaves the room as quickly as he entered. Suddenly, I'm standing in the kitchen with a bad case of horny, and no one to help me alleviate the need.
Cleaning no longer soothes me. I consider calling Shay for help, but know she's probably getting her brothers in bed for the night. Darby is likely in the same position with the kids in her house.
I finally take a shower in the desperate hope that enough cold water will take away my hunger for Pax.