I nod in understanding.
"One, I want you to start anti-depressants. Like, tonight. We’ve never talked about what your hangups are with medication, but I’m not budging. You can’t be going dark with a child in the house. And if a pill helps you manage things a little better, then, Goddamn it, I’m going to start lacing your lunch if I have to."
"Okay," I quickly agree. I may not like it, but she’s right.
"Tonight, Leo. Erica’s a doctor, right? Get her to call you in something. Then, when we get back, you can go see someone for a full regimen. I know the next few days are going to be rough, and I can’t have you withdrawing into your head."
"Okay," I repeat as my heart begins to swell at the possibilities.
"Two, I need you to accept my apology for flipping out earlier. I wasn’t focusing on the right part of the issue. But you have to stop surprising me with shit. I do a really bad job at processing it."
"Okay," I agree once again as a smile starts to creep across my lips.
"And three, I want my ring back."
And that’s it. There is nothing in the world that can keep me from touching her for even a second longer. With three giant steps, I rush across the room and crush her into my arms.
I hold her tighter than I ever thought was possible. I’m wishing I never had to leave this moment where everything is right. However, knowing that Sarah will be at my side for the next twenty-four hours doesn’t seem so hard.
It actually seems easy.
"We need to buy plane tickets," she whispers.
"I already did." I lean away to catch her eye.
"For both of us?"
"Yep. I wasn’t sure when to make the return flight, so for now, they are just one way."
"Wow. I’m that transparent, huh?" She leans her neck to the side, silently asking for a kiss.
"No, I just had big plans of kidnapping you. I bought the chloroform, zip ties, and everything," I say, trailing wet kisses up her neck as she rewards me with the most amazing laugh, which I swear I can feel all the way down to the marrow in my bones.
"No chloroform necessary, but hang on to those zip ties. We can probably think of a use for them later." She smiles.
Yeah. I can do this.
"YOU READY?" I ask for the ninth time since we arrived at the Department of Child Services in Texas.
Leo quickly shakes his head and begins pacing again. He’s squeezing my hand, dragging me along with him. I’m sure we look ridiculous, but I can’t bring myself to care.
We arrived in El Paso bright and early this morning and drove straight here. Leo received a voicemail while we were in the air that let him know that the Avilas had already dropped Liv off and left. This led to a loud rant in the middle of baggage claim about what assholes they are. Since every other word was a curse, I tried to quietly remind him that we were in public. The only way I knew he had even heard me is that he switched to Spanish. We were in a Texas airport just minutes from the Mexico border, so I’m not sure how much good it did, but at least I tried.
Most of the morning, Leo’s mood was all over the place. He was convinced that she was better off without him, and I tried to reassure him that he was wrong. Then he got emotional thinking about all the time he missed only to swing to anger at Amy for having turned to drugs. I could barely keep up. I’ve been so preoccupied with worrying about Leo that I haven’t even had a chance to stress myself out about becoming a kinda-sorta parent as well. She might be Leo’s child, but Caleb was right. I’m going to have to step up and be more than just an every-other-weekend type of stepmom. Oh. Shit.
"Um. I think I’m going to puke," I say with a quiver in my voice.
Leo stops and turns to look at me. I must have a serious case of crazy eyes, because he immediately switches gears and pulls me into a hug.
"Jesus Christ. Aren’t we a fucking pair?" Leo whispers into my ear, rubbing his stubble against my cheek. "She’s a little girl, not a T-Rex. Let’s go in there. I’m just going to keep working myself up into a frenzy out here, and now I’m starting to take you down with me. Only one of us is allowed to have an anxiety attack at a time." He kisses the top of my head and I melt into his arms.
Sucking in a deep breath, I look up into his eyes. "I love you. I know this is scary, but we can do this." I try to be encouraging for both of us.
"Yeah. We can." He smiles sincerely.
"But you have to stop cussing," I scold.
He starts laughing, pulling me even tighter against his chest. With one brief kiss, he releases me and takes my hand before guiding me to the front door.
"Hi. I’m Leo James. I’m here to pick up my daughter," he says, and I have a feeling he says it more for himself than the receptionist.
"Mr. James." A thin woman with long, black hair and a warm smile makes her way from around the desk. "I’m Suzanne Moore. We spoke on the phone earlier. It’s nice to meet you."