"When I was able to go back to work, my boss called me into his office and offered me a long-term undercover job. Desperate for something new, and with nothing to leave behind, I immediately accepted. A week later, I was on my way to Florida."
I turn to Erica, who silently nods in understanding, before facing Sarah once again. "We were already in the Witness Protection Program by the time I was sent word that Max had a DNA test performed and it ruled him out of being Liv’s father." I shake my head and take a step toward Sarah only to have her back away. "I called in a favor and had them add me to her birth certificate as soon as Max petitioned to have his name removed. At least, that way, she would be entitled to my benefits if something happened to me. Back then, I didn’t think I’d ever live long enough to meet her. It’s not like I could come out of hiding to see her on the weekends or anything. If I had shown her any interest, she would have become a target as well. It was safest for me to stay as far away from her as I could get."
"You’ve been out of the program for over a year now, Leo," Sarah snaps.
I can tell my explanation is doing nothing to help our current situation. "All right. I’m done here. There’s your story. Now, everyone out but Sarah," I say roughly.
"You haven’t told me shit!" Erica yells.
"No. But we can talk about it later. Right now, I need to talk to Sarah. Alone." I quickly click the button on the mouse to end the call. "Out," I tell Johnson, who slaps me on the back before exiting the room. Then I settle down in the chair and motion for her to join me. "Come here, ángel."
"No. Talk," she demands from across the room. "I heard what you said. I understand your situation, but I can’t for the fucking life of me figure out how you thought it would be okay to never mention that you have a kid? We’re getting married, Leo. You don’t think you should have been a little more upfront about something this big?" She pauses. "Just so you know, I wouldn’t have cared. It wouldn’t even have fazed me, but you making yet another lie of omission is damn near killing me. God damn it, Leo! I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering what else you are keeping from me."
"I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to admit it to myself!" I explode out of the chair. "Sarah, if I told you I had a daughter I’ve never met, what would you have done? No, wait. I can tell you what you what you would have done. You would have given me some grand pep talk and forced me to go find her. You wouldn’t have stopped until she was calling me Daddy and I was walking her to school. That’s what you do. You try to fix me. But this is not something I was ready to face yet."
"You’re damn right I would have tried to fix this."
"And it would have ruined us!" I yell at her. "I would have fought you, and it wouldn’t have been pretty. Fuck, Sarah, I should have the right to deal with my own shit on my own time without you forcing it down my throat."
"Forcing it down your throat, huh? So let me get this straight. You don’t mention that you have a kid, and somehow I’m in the wrong for some assumed transgression that never even happened? Don’t worry, Leo. I won’t try to fix anything for you anymore." She reaches down, rips off her engagement ring, and throws it at me. It bounces off my chest then clinks against the floor, but I don’t take my eyes off her. "You can do it all on your own from now on."
"Sarah, stop. That’s not what I meant." I rush after her, grabbing her arm before she can make it to the front door.
"I don’t give a fuck what you meant." She snatches her arm from my hand. "Your words and actions have said more than enough."
"What do you want me to say? I know I should have mentioned it to you, but saying it out loud feels a whole lot like accepting it."
"She’s a person, Leo. It’s a fact. It’s not some idea you have to accept."
"God damn it. You’re already doing it. Stop."
"That is not me trying to fix you. That’s me telling you the fucking truth. Although now I understand why you might not recognize what that sounds like," she seethes.
"That’s not fair and you know it. Damn it, Sarah. I’m sorry. It’s just… I’m not the same person I was a few years ago. I know you wouldn’t have listened to that though. You would have pushed me to make contact. But what exactly am I supposed to say to her? ‘Hi, Liv. I’m your dad. I’ve allowed women to be raped, planned to kill myself, and spend a week every few months depressed and hiding in my bedroom. I hate myself most days and suffer from paralyzing PTSD when it comes to your Auntie Erica, who coincidentally is the same woman who I allowed to be assaulted. Come to Papa’?" I say sarcastically.
"Jesus Christ, Leo." She shakes her head.