‘See, wasn’t hard, was it?’
I pull myself up off the floor, not sure why I was ever there. My back cracks as I stand, pain radiating down the left side of my body causing me to wince. I ease myself down onto the sofa where Cory lies sleeping. He’s surrounded by cushions to keep him safe. I smile. ‘Didn’t I say I’d always protect you?’
The evening is a blur, my memory of it hazy, as if trying to remember a dream after waking. I run through what I can remember, now even more certain than ever that I have to stop taking the antidepressants. There is no way they should be affecting my memory like this, although I have been pretty tired lately. Perhaps I just need a good night’s sleep? I look out of the window as I think, the night sky calm and still as if the storm from earlier had never really happened.
I remember going to SureLife and speaking to Doctor Hughes earlier today. He’d seemed slightly annoyed with me but I can’t remember why. Then James turned up and… Magda! That’s right, Magda was with him. She was with him because she is trying to whisk me off to a mental institution so she can become Cory’s mother. She’s been manipulating James the whole time, hasn’t she? I remember now; remember the way she held Cory in her arms yesterday, remember her jealousy of Annette’s pregnancy, the charm bracelet she’d purposely dangled in my face. The gold locket around my neck starts to choke me, the chain digging into my skin. Yanking it off, I throw it against the wall. I glance back over at Cory, my heart physically aching to see him lying there so vulnerable. ‘I won’t let them separate us, baby. We’ll go to a place where there isn’t any more pain.’
I pick him up and make my way into the hallway to where the pram is parked. James is in the kitchen speaking a succession of words I don’t have time to process. We have to get out of here, have to somehow get away from Magda before she manages to take everything away from me. I’m calling the mental health team right now. A memory suddenly splices down the centre of my brain; James, a moment or two ago, threatening to call the mental health team. He was angry with me, furious, but why? What did I say to him?
Cory stirs in my arms, a small cry emanating from him which sounds a little like a wounded baby bird. ‘It’s all right, baby boy,’ I whisper. ‘We’re going now.’
A shiny, wrapped present catches my eye as I place Cory in the pram. I stare at it for a moment, the memory of Annette bringing it round earlier today working its way into my mind. ‘It looks soft,’ I say. ‘Maybe it’s something warm. Always a good idea to wrap up warm in winter, baby boy. You’ll catch your death otherwise.’ I take hold of the present, the paper crumpling as I do. ‘Yes, definitely clothes.’ In the distance, James’s voice rises in urgency. ‘You need to come quick then,’ he shouts. ‘Because I can’t bear this a second longer.’
Tearing open the wrapping paper, I smile down at a tiny blue sleepsuit which has a message embroidered on the front in black stitch. Picking it up, I take a closer look at the writing, my stomach turning to liquid as I realise what it says. Unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given.
‘James, come… quick.’ I can hardly speak, my words toppling over one another.
I look back down the hallway to where soft light streams out through the half-dozen panels in the kitchen door. Behind them, James is still speaking to somebody, presumably on the phone, the glass partitioning his silhouette into thin rectangles. ‘I’ll probably have to. It is for the best, yes. I know – thank you.’
I look down again at the sleepsuit, the embroidered letters now jumbling up in front of my eyes. What am I going to do? Tell James? Surely now he has to believe me? I bring the soft blue velvet up close to my face, breathe in its scent, the smell of Annette’s perfume, which has somehow infused its way into the fabric, causing me to wretch. Good! At least there’s no denying who it’s from. She can’t get away with her twisted game any longer, her number is finally up!
A sharp knocking on the door is closely followed by the sound of a familiar voice. ‘It’s me. Let me in.’
I throw my hand over my mouth, almost dropping the sleepsuit as I do. Magda! Guilt gnaws at my insides. How could I ever have believed she was involved? I unlock the door quickly, look down to where she is standing on the bottom step, dressed all in black, the porch light reflecting her tears. She looks up at me and swallows hard. ‘Is James there?’
‘Mags…’ My own eyes swell, the whole situation causing a solid lump to wedge itself into my throat. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry for accusing you.’
She tilts her chin, her jaw clenched, obviously not ready to forgive me so easily. ‘Why the sudden change of heart?’
I hold up the sleepsuit in front of her, not sure she’ll be able to see the black stitch in the dark. ‘You see this, it’s from Annette and Ron, the same words which were written inside the card at the hospital. They are trying to steal Cory.’ I watch her expression change from confusion to shock.
‘What’s going on? Why is Cory in the pram in just his vest?’ James’s voice comes from behind me, his footsteps heavy on the laminate flooring. ‘What are you doing now, Louisa? For the love of God, it’s freezing!’ His voice is hard.
I turn to face him, the sleepsuit still clutched between my fingers. ‘Look, it’s…’
‘Nothing. It’s nothing to worry about.’ Magda yanks the sleepsuit out of my hands, her fingers icy-cold and red-raw. I look down at her and she shakes her head at me, a warning flashing across her eyes.
‘What?’ James runs his fingers through his hair. ‘What’s going on now?’
I look over at Magda, not sure what she’s trying to tell me. Perhaps she knows something I don’t. ‘Nothing,’ I say to James, dragging a smile onto my face, deciding it’s probably best if he leaves so Magda and I can figure out what to do about Annette and Ron.
‘I’m not going into work, Mags, so you can go home. I can’t leave her like this. I’ve called the mental health team but they can’t get anybody here until the morning.’ James offers me a pitying glance as he speaks. ‘They said we could take her to A and E but I think it’s best if she stays here until the morning. I know how short-staffed they are at this time of year.’
‘I’m fine,’ I say through gritted teeth. ‘I don’t need the mental health team.’
‘You go,’ says Magda, before reaching into the pram to pick up Cory. ‘We’ll bath and dress this little one and then we’ll have a cup of tea and talk everything through. Right, Loulou?’
I nod. ‘We will. You go to work, James.’ I try to drag a degree of normality into my voice. ‘I’d hate the hospital to be short-staffed and for somebody to die because of me. I’m fine, honestly’
He sighs. ‘Fine. But any problems and you call me, all right? As soon as cover arrives I’m coming home.’ This he directs at Magda, seemingly unable to meet my eye. Either that or he no longer considers me capable of sane conversation. I don’t understand why he’s so angry with me. What have I even done?
‘We’ll be fine,’ reiterates Magda, before kissing Cory on top of his head. ‘You get going. I’ll look after her, don’t worry.’
‘Cheers, Mags,’ says James, seemingly now in a rush to get out of the house. He pulls on his overcoat and picks up his briefcase, still refusing to look at me. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’