‘But you think I’m trying to steal your child. Why should I?’
‘Pardon?’ I don’t quite understand what she is saying, why she’s no longer crying, why a smile is snaking its way up into her cheekbones. I reach my arm up towards her, my fingers curling around hers.
She pulls her hand away, her laugh slashing through the air like a set of nails scraping down a chalkboard. ‘Sleeping tablets will make you a little drowsy, sweetie. Although I must admit, I was a little concerned when you didn’t drink all of your tea.’
‘What?’ I fight to keep my eyes open. ‘What did you say?’
She looks down at her watch and puckers her lips. ‘I said we’ll have a nice cup of tea, okay? Help is on its way. You’re just having a psychotic episode, that’s all. Try and stay calm.’
A surge of adrenaline courses through me. ‘I’m not, I’m not crazy!’
‘Of course you’re not. I believe you.’
I use my hands and feet to push myself up into a front crawl, falling several steps forward before finally managing to stand.
‘You can’t run, it’s over!’ Magda takes a swipe at me from behind, the tips of her fingers skimming the hem of my nightdress. I break free, a second shot of adrenaline carrying me through the hallway like a gust of wind.
The kitchen is brightly lit, the fridge humming like an orchestra of crickets. Now what? I look over at the back door, the key now stuffed into the lock. I shake my head. It wasn’t there earlier, it wasn’t! Of course I could try to run, but then I’d be leaving Magda alone with Cory. Behind me, her footsteps gain ground, her charm bracelet rattling like tubular bells as she enters the kitchen. I see her through the window’s reflection as she approaches, her eyes blazing, her skin a sickly shade of white. ‘You need to let it go,’ she says quietly, taking another step forward, her breath so close it condenses on the nape of my neck. ‘You’ve lost your mind, it’s over!’
I yank open the drawer underneath the sink before I even realise what I’m doing and grab hold of a steak knife, its steely blade catching against the overhead strip light. I swivel round, the tip a millimetre short of her abdomen. I watch as her pupils dilate until they are nothing but black, bottomless holes.
She raises both hands to either side of her head but holds my stare, her eyes narrowing to slits. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘Why?’ My voice rattles in my throat, my hand shaking so badly I’m certain the knife is going to slip out of my hand and clatter to the floor at any moment.
She clenches her jaw, her bottom lip trembling. ‘Put down the knife, Louisa. Don’t make this any worse for yourself than it already is.’
I apply pressure, the tip now pressed firmly into her skin. ‘I want to know why you’re doing this to me?’
‘Because you don’t deserve him.’
Her words don’t seem to fit the shape of her mouth, almost as if she’s trying to push a wooden cube out of a circular hole. ‘Say that again?’
Her top lip folds up into her gum, her eyes momentarily flicking over to the window positioned behind me. ‘Say what? I haven’t said anything. Please, Louisa, stop this – you’re really scaring me.’ She looks just short of my eyeline once again, as if trying to beckon somebody over with her eyes.
‘What are you staring at? Who’s out there?’ My eyelids droop, the question emerging as a string of incoherent sounds.
She smiles. ‘You don’t kill one baby and get another one, Louisa. That isn’t how life works.’
‘What?’ I blink, long and hard, her words melting away before I have a chance to process them. My vision narrows, blackness closing in all around me. ‘What did you say?’ I push the tip of the knife further into her stomach, her teeth clenching under the pressure.
She swallows loudly. ‘I said you have to think of your baby.’
‘No, no, you didn’t.’ My words trip over one another, everything a mass of confusion. ‘You were talking about my baby, the first one, the one that died. But I never killed him, Aiden did. How do you even know about that?’
‘Excuse me?’ Her lip and nose twitch in perfect symmetry. ‘What in heaven’s name are you talking about now? Just put the knife down!’
‘Don’t you dare.’ I push it further into her, the pressure mounting behind it, sure I’m about to puncture flesh. The memory of that night plays out all around me; the smell of algae burning my nostrils, my lungs collapsing under their own weight. ‘Don’t you dare make out like I’m hearing things! Don’t…’ My words finally give way to a barrage of tears, the voices inside my head reaching fever pitch.
I take a moment to think about what I’m doing, knowing I have to be certain of Magda’s guilt before doing something I’ll regret. For days now I have hovered on the edge of madness, my paranoia casting suspicion on one person after another. Wasn’t it just a moment ago I was convinced Annette and Ron were going to steal Cory? And yet the message on the Babygro literally rearranged itself as Magda held it up to me. I thought Annette couldn’t possibly be pregnant but am I really so sure of that? Perhaps I just wanted to believe she was lying; perhaps my eyes couldn’t see what was directly in front of me because blaming Annette was easier than admitting I was losing my mind.
I drop my arm down to my side, knowing only that I cannot trust myself. ‘I’m sorry, Magda… I don’t know what’s the matter with me.’
‘Good girl.’ Magda’s eyes fall down to the knife. ‘I knew you never had it in you. Weak Louisa, weak as always. Now be a good girl and pass me the knife.’
‘You’re right,’ I hear myself saying, inevitability washing over me in one calm breath. ‘Or at least I was before I became a mother.’ I lift the knife and shove it into her stomach, watch in morbid fascination as her eyes bulge, a silent scream evaporating on her lips. ‘And never underestimate a mother whose child is in danger! Especially not one who’s lost her fucking mind!’
At that moment, everything turns black.
‘The woman Folly is loud; she is seductive and knows nothing.’ Proverbs 9: 13
‘About frickin’ time! You do realise she almost killed me while you were out there doing your Peeping Tom impersonation. Good job the sleeping pills kicked in when they did or you’d have another dead body to deal with!’
The hippy greets me with a mouthful of vermin and a look of disdain as I enter the kitchen through the back door. She is slumped against the cupboard door directly under the sink, her T-shirt pulled up around her middle allowing me to see the lace on her garishly pink bra, which, rather worryingly, matches several strands of her hair. I shiver… some people have no decorum.
A small nick just shy of her bellybutton is trickling out blood. Unfortunately for me it isn’t quite enough to kill her but one can still dream. Louisa lies face down almost on top of her, snoring like a kitten.
‘Keep your hand on it, for goodness’ sake. Lord above, all you had to do was be nice until she passed out.’ I shake my head at her, slightly irritated she’s almost scuppered my plans. ‘I mean, for heaven’s sake, what is the world coming to when friends can’t get along?’
‘I’ve been nice to her for months now,’ she whines, her face turning a brilliant shade of white as she lifts up her hand to inspect the puncture wound. ‘Anyway, I didn’t do anything, not really, she’s off her flaming nut.’
I make my way over to the worktop where the laced PG Tips still stands.
‘Are you going to actually help me?’ she shouts, spittle flying from her mouth. ‘Or are you just going to leave me to die?’