‘Jack, my boy!’
The soldiers appeared without warning from behind her, making her jump with their loud words. They crowded around his bed, only to be hushed by a much older nurse and a doctor working nearby. They didn’t seem to mind, but Lucy took a hesitant step back even as Jack’s eyes met hers again, one look telling her everything she needed to know.
She was about to lose him, and she hated it. Of all the things she’d lost in this war, of all the things she’d wished for and wanted, Jack was the one thing she didn’t want taken from her. After each long shift, she’d been excited to go and talk to him, even when her eyes had been so blurry and weary that it had been almost impossible to keep them open. To sit and talk with him, to care for him, had given her something to smile about. Knowing that she’d done the right thing, helped to save a man who was so kind and funny, even though he couldn’t even remember his own name. And the way he looked at her, it softened her. Made her realise that personal connections were as important as her work.
‘We’ll get you out of here in no time,’ she heard one of the soldiers say, tuning back in. ‘We just need to check on the other Americans here and you’ll be our top priority, sir.’
Lucy stared at him through a gap between two of the soldiers in their handsome uniforms. He was staring back at her still, seemingly ignoring everything they were saying, his eyes trained firmly on hers.
‘Give me a minute,’ he said, clearing his throat and interrupting whoever was talking.
His voice, although hoarse, was full of more authority than she’d ever heard from him. This was the officer talking, no longer an unnamed patient.
‘Yes, sir.’
Even the soldier who’d been joking earlier left him, and Lucy stood still, feet locked to the floor.
‘Lucy,’ he said, voice softer this time.
She nodded, not trusting her voice, not ready to say goodbye to him, even though she’d said goodbye to hundreds of soldiers since they’d been in France, even though she knew that she had no claim over this man and that he needed to go soon.
‘Come here.’
Lucy wrapped her arms around herself, cold, shivers taking over her body as she moved slowly to his side once more.
‘I don’t know how to say goodbye to the woman who helped to rescue me from a burning ambulance and has nursed me every day since,’ he said, taking her hand. He was sitting upright, staring at her, his fingers interlinked with hers. ‘Leaving you ain’t going to be easy, that’s for sure.’
‘You’ll forget all about me the moment they take you away from here,’ she said, trying to be brave even as a single tear slipped down her cheek.
Jack reached up, gently wiping it away and taking her other hand in his, pressing a kiss to her skin. He never blinked once their eyes met again.
‘Lucy, there is no part of me that could ever forget you.’
His words washed over her, made it almost impossible to breathe. Why did he have to be so nice? Why did he have to say things like this when they were never going to see one another again?
‘Don’t say that. You don’t even know . . .’
‘I don’t need to know anything more than I already know,’ he said. ‘I want you to write down your address, I want to know every detail about you and your family so that one day, when all this is over, I can find you.’ His smile was warm. ‘I will find you, Lucy, mark my words.’
Lucy didn’t believe him, didn’t want to believe him, because it only made the hurt worse, the pain shooting through her chest already unbearable.
‘Don’t go making promises you can’t keep,’ she said.
He squeezed her hand tighter. ‘Unless I die in a field out there or end up in another burning ambulance with no Lucy to rescue me, I promise that I will find you. One day, somehow, I will find you.’
She folded forward, arms around him. She’d be scolded for this, for what she was doing in plain sight of every other person in the hospital, but she didn’t care. No one was going to take these last moments from her.
‘Goodbye, Lucy,’ he whispered into her hair.
Lucy raised her head, found her face too close to his, her mouth too near his. When Jack leaned forward, only a touch, it was all it took for their lips to meet; the most gentle press of his lips on hers – a soft, sweet kiss that she’d never forget for as long as she lived.
‘Goodbye,’ she whispered against his mouth.
The soldiers returned and she stood, holding Jack’s hand still until the very last moment, until their fingers slid from one another’s and her hand was left cold. She clutched it to her chest, a chill wrapping its icy touch around her.
‘Men, I need pen and paper.’
She knew that even when she took the pen from one of them, hand shaking as she scrawled her address, she still wouldn’t believe that he’d ever come for her. She’d be a nurse he’d smile about, think of fondly, but there was no possible way that this handsome American officer was ever going to come to London in search of her. Every breath in her body hoped it was so, but she wasn’t stupid and she certainly wasn’t naive.
She loved a man she’d never, ever lay eyes upon again, and it hurt.
Lucy lay in her bed, the cold seeping into her bones as it always did now that the weather had become cooler. Living like this was something she’d never get used to, not to mention the rain, or the constant mud beneath the planks they had to walk upon. She’d always kept her complaints to herself, never wanting to make a fuss, but everything was starting to annoy her tonight. Previously, she’d cared about her work and doing her best and learning all she could. She’d seen things, but then so had everyone, and she got on with whatever task was at hand to keep things moving forward. But tonight, she didn’t want to do anything, and she certainly didn’t want to be part of any banter with the other nurses.
The girls were all talking about moving camp at the end of the week. The last shift had been so much quieter than usual, meaning that they weren’t as bone-tired as on other nights. She had been starting to wonder how long they’d be here, when they’d be packing up to move to another location. They all knew the drill, how the patients were moved and the hospital slowly closed down until they were able to pack it up and move closer to the fighting that no longer terrified her as it once had. But this time they were moving further away, and no one knew what to expect. Tonight she felt numb, like she was watching the world go by from outside of her own body, listening to her friends talk without truly hearing what they were even saying.
‘Lucy?’
She lifted her head, hearing her name. It pulled her back to the present. When she looked around, she saw that Scarlet and Ellie were both looking at her, waiting for her to say something.
‘Sorry, I wasn’t even listening,’ she admitted, seeing no point in pretending that she even knew what they’d been talking about.