‘What are they going to do? Fire you? Send you home?’ He shook his head. ‘I doubt that very much.’
‘Rules are rules.’ She thought he’d have been a stickler for them, given his position in the army. But then plenty of men and women were doing things they’d never have considered before.
‘Go get the food. You can bend low over me, share some with me, and no one will know if you’re taking mouthfuls or bending to spoon something into me.’
Scarlet sighed. He was right. She did need sustenance. It wasn’t her fault that she’d had to work all day and night without a break, without so much as a spoonful of food to see her through. She had eggs still to cook from the day before, but she hadn’t even had a chance to take them from her jacket pocket.
‘Why do you have to be so . . .’ She blew out a deep, long breath. ‘Lovely.’
‘Lovely?’ He laughed. ‘Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Because if you were trying to offend me, you’re failing.’
‘Caring,’ she said. ‘I don’t know. I just wish you weren’t so nice. It’d make this whole thing easier.’
‘Why?’
She stared at him, ran her fingers over his hand, feeling less guilty now. Maybe she was so overtired that she didn’t care, or maybe after everything she’d been through she’d simply stopped judging herself so harshly or by such high standards.
‘Because then it would be so much easier not to like you,’ she told him honestly. ‘I’ve tried so hard. I don’t want to like you, but I do.’
‘Go get the food,’ he said. But Scarlet didn’t miss his smile, the way he relaxed back into the bed, eyes still holding her gaze.
He liked her, too. He didn’t need to say it. Every look, every touch, every minute they spent together told her everything she needed to know. One day she could go back to worrying, but as long as she kept looking for Thomas and didn’t give up her search, she could live with herself.
‘I’ll go get that food then,’ Scarlet said. She looked around, noticed that the noise level had dropped to a low hum. She prayed that it would be a slow night, that soldiers wouldn’t be falling as fast as they had been during the day.
She saw Lucy, smiled at her, raising her hand as she went in search of something she could share with James. For a girl who’d always played by the rules and stayed true to her promises, she was fast turning into someone she no longer recognised. Scarlet bit her lip, amused by her own thoughts. Maybe she even liked this new version of herself.
‘Nurse!’
She cringed, her smile falling away as quickly as it had appeared. Please, Lord, not now. She should have staved off her hunger and stayed at James’s bedside. It would have been better than a doctor calling out to her and begging her to work.
Scarlet kept her head down, kept walking, ignoring the call.
‘Scarlet!’
This time, a heavy hand fell on her shoulder, gripping her, forcing her to stop. She spun around, angry, ready to tell the damn doctor to get his hands off her.
‘Don’t . . .’ The words died the moment she looked into Spencer’s face, his expression a mix of exhaustion and uncertainty. Heck, she’d have been scared of the look she’d given him. ‘I’m so sorry, I thought . . .’
He ignored her words. ‘Scarlet, there’s been word. Confirmation of some British soldiers’ existence among the ones being cared for at one of the convents you asked me to enquire about.’
Her heartbeat picked up speed, mouth dry as she stared at him. ‘Thomas?’
‘Look, all I know is that there are soldiers of ours there. They needed a doctor to attend and I’ve volunteered to go.’ He paused. ‘And I’ve asked to take my own nurse.’
Scarlet gulped, swallowing what felt like a rock in her throat. She almost didn’t want it to be true, had started hoping that she was wrong, that she’d never find him. ‘Me?’
‘I’ve requested you. I made it clear that you can work fast and that I can trust you with any task.’ He placed a hand on her arm, and this time the touch comforted her instead of alarming her. ‘That is, if you want to go?’
‘Yes,’ she murmured, knowing she couldn’t falter now, even if she wanted to. ‘Yes,’ she said again, this time in a stronger voice. ‘I’ll go.’
James was here. She was tending to one brother and now planning a possible rescue mission for another.
‘I don’t want to get your hopes up, this is a long shot, but there is a chance he’s there.’
Scarlet nodded. ‘I’ll be ready.’ She needed the food more than ever now, light-headed from the news she’d just received as well as her growling stomach.
‘I haven’t told Ellie yet. I don’t want her to worry,’ Spencer said as she took a step back before turning. ‘I’ll tell her when we have confirmed plans.’
‘I understand.’ Scarlet had no intention of worrying Ellie unless it was absolutely necessary. ‘And thank you, Spencer. Thank you for caring.’
‘Ellie would never forgive me if I didn’t do everything I could to help you,’ he said. ‘Turns out I’ll do anything to make her happy.’
‘Even embark on a crazy trip to locate a handful of soldiers?’
It sounded crazy, even to her.
‘Yes.’
He smiled one last time before going back to his patients, and she walked quietly off. She needed to get back to James, and she needed to forget all about what Spencer had told her and enjoy her last hours or days with James before he was sent back home. If they found Thomas, it might be the last time she could hold his hand and look into his eyes without being unfaithful, before her heart was broken into a million pieces that she doubted could ever be placed back together. She’d almost convinced herself that Thomas was gone, that finding him was a fantasy that would never come true. Truth be told, she could barely remember how she felt about him, her memories of him hazy, starting to blur the more she tried to draw on them. Or maybe it was simply that all the old feelings had disappeared the moment she’d laid eyes upon James and felt alive like she’d never felt before.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Lucy
‘Check out the Yanks!’
Lucy looked up when one of the nurses nearby whispered excitedly. She’d been dressing a wound and studying how well it had healed. When she looked up, she could see that she’d missed quite a commotion.