Ellie smiled at her and Scarlet forced one back. ‘Have fun, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’
Scarlet wanted to say something smart in reply, but she couldn’t think of anything fast enough, and Ellie disappeared in the sea of nurses fanning out around them. Instead, she propelled herself forwards, head down as she made her way to the camp. There were people milling here and there, but she was nervous on her own, especially when she crossed the grass that stretched between where their tents were pitched and the trees that separated the property they were stationed on from the neighbouring ones.
‘Over here.’
She couldn’t tell for certain if it was James’s voice, but she could see a silhouette ahead and she doubted anyone else would be calling for her. She fisted her hands just in case, ready to scream and hit someone if they tried anything on.
‘I wasn’t sure if you would come or not,’ James said, reaching out to her, his voice suddenly much more familiar. She was just able to make out his face now. The moon was illuminating their surroundings enough to see by, and the fear she’d felt earlier at being alone disappeared. She felt comfortable with him already, even though she hardly knew him. There was something somehow familiar about him, something that made her comfortable with this man who made her heart race.
‘You’ve heard the news already?’ she asked.
He gestured for them to walk and she fell into step beside him. Moving was easier because she didn’t have to stare at him and feel she should be averting her eyes, didn’t have to think about the way something inside of her stirred every time he smiled at her or gave her a cheeky wink. But tonight, he seemed more serious than he’d been before.
‘We don’t have long and we’ll be landing in the worst of it,’ he muttered.
‘So you’re coming with us? I mean, we’ll be travelling with your unit?’
‘’Fraid so,’ he said, glancing at her. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t dare look back, focusing instead on where her feet were falling with each step.
‘James, I want to find my fiancé so badly. I mean, there’s nothing I want more than to discover he’s alive, that he’s been helped or . . .’ She didn’t even know what to say. ‘The more I learn, the more injuries I see, I’m wondering if I’ve just been terribly naive this entire time. And then meeting you . . .’
James held out his arm and she couldn’t ignore the action. Scarlet tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, couldn’t resist being close to him instead of feeling so alone. It was only one night. It was only one connection, one touch. By morning they’d be gone, and she could pretend it never happened.
‘Hope can be a dangerous thing,’ James said. ‘But without hope, maybe our entire army would have broken down by now.’
She inhaled, breathed in the scent of him, wished she wasn’t so drawn to him.
Scarlet slowed when James did and she saw where he’d brought her. It was a pond, once beautiful she was sure, but now overgrown and derelict. But there was still water filling its depths, glistening in the moonlight. He gestured for her to sit down, and she did, settling against a tree beside him. She tucked her legs beneath herself as he stretched his out in front.
‘I know it’s forward of me, but this is war. After tonight, we might never see one another again,’ he said. ‘I just have to tell you: you’re so beautiful.’
‘James, I . . .’ She needed to say something, to end whatever was going on between them. This wasn’t right. She couldn’t do this as though she wasn’t already promised to another man.
‘What? I can’t tell a woman she’s beautiful?’ His laugh was deep, his hand warm as he reached for hers. ‘Sweetheart, there’s every chance this is it, and there’s every chance I won’t make it home. What’s the harm in speaking the truth, given the circumstances?’ He paused, looking into her eyes. ‘And it’s more than that. I like you, Scarlet. You must know that?’
The harm was that she could so easily give in. If she’d met James and she wasn’t already promised, if . . . She pushed the thoughts away, didn’t want to imagine it. How could she even be thinking like this when she’d been so devoted to Thomas for so long? He’d been gone for over a year, and she’d never questioned her feelings for him before, not once in all those long months.
‘I need to go,’ she said, pushing up to stand, furious with herself. He’d told her he liked her, and her first thought should have been to tell him no instead of thinking about giving in to her feelings.
But James’s warm hand closed around her wrist, anchored her to the ground. ‘Please don’t go. Not yet.’ He kept staring into her eyes, his expression softening. ‘Can we not just sit here? Away from all the horrors, all the awful things we’re about to face, and just . . .’ He smiled. ‘Sit.’
His low voice washed over her, his fingers curled against her skin, sending impossible emotions, feelings through her body. She wanted to say yes, so badly.
‘I’m engaged to be married to another man,’ she croaked, forcing the words out, needing to say it.
‘I know that, Scarlet. I know that and I’m not asking for anything other than a peaceful moment. I like your company and this might be the last peaceful night we see in months, maybe even years.’
‘I’m sorry, I can’t be here. This isn’t right,’ she said, biting down on her lip as she went to move again. It would have been so easy to say yes, but she wouldn’t let herself.
James moved fast, so quickly that she didn’t realise what was happening, not immediately. One hand was still on her wrist, but the other touched her cheek, palm flat to her skin as his body moved half over hers, lips soft when he kissed her. It was the barest of touches, the connection only lasting seconds, but it was all Scarlet needed to tell her that she was in trouble.
‘Maybe it’s the war, not knowing whether I’ll live to come home,’ James murmured against her lips. ‘Or maybe it’s the fact that from the moment I laid eyes on you, the only thing I’ve been able to think about is you.’
Scarlet waited, her breath shallow, lips parted. She wanted him to kiss her again so badly, wanted him to touch her, yet at the same time she felt like a traitor, knew she was doing the wrong thing. She should have pushed him away, told him not to touch her ever again.
‘James . . .’ She put her hand to his chest, wanted to push him back.
‘Tell me it’s not what you want and I won’t do it again,’ he whispered. ‘I won’t do something you don’t want.’
She hesitated, couldn’t tell a lie when she so blatantly felt the opposite. Instead she dropped her gaze to his lips – gave him permission.