The icy drink felt wonderful on my raw throat, and I drank it thirstily. Kane smiled. “Better?”
I nodded. I really wasn’t, but from this moment forward, I was going to fake it the best I could.
“I hate to tell you this, but—”
“If you tell me there’s another video, I think I’ll explode.”
Her smile was gentle. “No, I was going to tell you that the press is at every entrance. When you’re ready to go, I’ll have security help you get out.”
I shot to my feet. “I’m ready. I’d like to go now, if that’s okay.”
She nodded. “Sure. I’ll meet you at the player’s exit. Do you have a car?”
Kane jangled his keys.
Katrina gave us both a stiff smile. “Give me five minutes.”
Precisely five minutes later, I was tucked against Kane’s side as security paved a path through a sea of microphones and cameras.
“Kane, did you know prior to today about your fiancée’s infidelities?”
“Eliana, who is the man in the video?”
“Kane, do you two still plan to get married?”
“Eliana, how did seeing the video make you feel?”
When the door of Kane’s Land Rover closed, creating a barrier to the questions, all I could do was slump into the seat. At Kane’s building, we were mercifully allowed to park inside the lot although there were reporters and cameras that the parking attendant was doing his best to keep on the sidewalk.
In his apartment, Kane led me down the hall and to the bathroom, turning on all the shower heads at full blast.
“Thank you,” I told him.
A part of me wished he would join me, waited for him to do so, but he only nodded. “Take your time. I… I need to go out for a while.”
Before I could nod or even beg him to stay, he was gone. I sank to the floor and cried.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Kane
I felt like a total shit the second I shut the door, but I needed to think, get my head on straight. Seeing that video tripped every emotional wire, and Eliana didn’t need to be around when everything inside me exploded. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to survive the shrapnel of my fury-sadness-pain-jealousy-doubt-fear if that happened.
Skipping the elevator, I headed to the stairs, needing my feet to keep moving. Jogging down, I examined each of those emotions. Maybe giving them separate clarity would help.
Fury was easy. Eliana’s face as she watched the video. The betrayal and embarrassment, the horror, of knowing that millions of people would see her naked body, her most intimate moments. I wanted to kill the man who’d done that to her, but doing so wouldn’t stop the spread of the video. I felt helpless. Impotent. For a man like me, not being able to control something, fix it, was beyond disturbing.
Sadness was also easy. Watching the woman I cared so much about so devastated broke me. Her face. Her eyes. Her body language. The way she seemed to shrink in her skin. She’d held up amazingly well. Tears, yes, but not the hysteria many women would have succumbed to. The silent crying was actually worse than if she’d been the one to punch the wall, to kick and scream and wail at the top of her lungs. That I could have handled. The river of silent agony was heartbreaking to witness.
Pain. Sharp knives of it clawed at my throat, chest, stomach. Heart. And it wasn’t only in response to her pain. Watching her in full color be fucked by another man was a kick in the gut. I knew she wasn’t a virgin when she met me. I didn’t expect her to be or judge her because she wasn’t. Hell, I’d had many women since popping my cherry when I was only fifteen years old. But knowing Eliana had slept with other men, and seeing it happen… Christ, the pain was agonizing.
Yes, I was jealous. The dude was stacked, and he seemed to be pleasing her. If he wasn’t, she was a damn fine actress, which made me wonder if she was acting with me too. No. I knew she wasn’t. Surely I would have felt it. I would’ve known it, right? Which led to…
Doubt. Was Eliana who I thought she was? Had she only slept with two other guys before? Had she been telling the truth, did she not know she was being filmed? Or was she more like her mother than… no. I refused to finish that thought.
My lungs were burning as I burst through the parking level door and headed to the Land Rover. It sensed my presence and opened automatically. Within seconds, the engine was roaring to life, and I was squealing the tires through the exit.
Fear.
That was the emotion that had me by the balls. I wasn’t used to being afraid, but I was now. I didn’t want to lose Eliana. Somewhere between the time I bumped into her in that alley and now, she’d smiled and laughed her way into my heart. No, it was deeper than that. She was in every cell. I breathed her in and out of my lungs.
I loved her.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter. In a few short weeks, I’d fallen in love.
The rage was back, and I slammed my fist in the Rover’s dash, over and over and over. I needed out of this enclosed space before I ran myself into a wall. Pulling into a parking space, I thumbed some coins in the slot and began to run.
It could have been so perfect. I was already marrying her, for hell’s sakes. It was like destiny had surrounded us both, herding us to the altar and a future together, even though it wasn’t what either of us wanted. Had wanted at the time.
We would have gotten married and just stayed that way. Had babies. Watched them grow. Snuggled our own grandchildren someday. Watched age spots form, gray hair replace our natural color.
Now?
I slowed, breathing hard, a stitch pinching at my side.
Now, we could still have that. Maybe a little soiled by the video, but it was nothing that couldn’t fade away.
I looked around, trying to orient myself and realized I was close to Rhett Hamilton’s building. I needed to talk to someone. Maybe I could talk to him.
His doorman was there immediately to offer a polite welcome and discretely called up to announce my presence. Within seconds, the elevator was called, and I was soaring to my boss’s penthouse.
Maybe this wasn’t smart, mixing business with personal. But hell, everything that was happening to me affected the Beasts… and my parents’ corporation.
Rhett was already at the door when the elevator opened, two drinks in his hand. He handed me one without a word, and I tossed it back. He grinned and handed me his. I tossed that one down too.
“Sit.”
Taking both glasses, he went back to the bar while I sank down into one of the white leather club chairs sprinkled around the enormous room. Most everything was various shades of white, I realized. The floor, furniture, walls. It should have felt stark and clinical, but didn’t.
“I’d ask if you’re okay, but I can see that you’re not,” he said and took a seat in a chair across from me.
I sipped at this one; the alcohol of the others had already gone to my head. I didn’t drink a lot. I needed to stay focused, and alcohol made everything blur. But blurry would be good right about now.
“Still processing,” I told him honestly.
“I’m sure. It’s a great deal to take in.”