Leo cups Henry around his chubby belly with one arm, but takes my hand with his other. He squeezes firmly as the tears roll over onto my cheeks and down my chin. I have been staring at the baby, but now I glance at Leo and he offers me a gentle, reassuring smile.
‘It’s only half a day, love,’ he whispers. I nod and go to turn away, but at the last second I lose my nerve again and I drop to my knees to bury my face in the baby’s neck. Henry immediately turns his head to gum his wet mouth at my hair as if he might find milk there. After a minute or two, I rock back on my haunches and I look from my son to my husband.
‘Maybe it’s too soon for me to go back to work,’ I say to Leo.
‘That’s fine if it is.’
‘But we’ve arranged everything…’
‘I don’t care.’
‘I’m being an idiot.’
‘Not at all.’
Life is different now. We laugh at the same time and we cry at the same time. We stare down at our son in wonder together most nights. We live gently together – two lives entwined at last.
He is an amazing father, as I knew he would be – but more than that, these days Leo is the husband I knew he could be too. Somehow, after everything we’ve been through, we have finally settled into a life that suits us both.
Leo and Brad have been doing some incredible work highlighting Aboriginal people from around the country. They’ve been to remote communities and sat around campfires with elders who still live a traditional lifestyle. They’ve eaten burgers with kids on the streets of Redfern and they’ve interviewed executives at banks, and profiled brilliant indigenous artists and sportspeople. They’ve met families who are struggling but who have the courage to persist and hope for a better future. They have drawn public attention to so many strengths and challenges faced by the Aboriginal community, and this work is good for Leo. He approaches it with a kind of wondrous passion instead of the manic energy that drove his work overseas.
He has been working with his own community – but in doing so, he’s been putting the pieces of himself back together too. Leo is starting to understand his own history in a way that I know he has always missed. And he will get back to that work again, some day, but today is supposed to mark a changing of the guard in our family.
I am returning to work part-time at the Foundation, and for the next twelve months at least, Leo will be focusing his energy on raising our son. So I need to leave them behind today – because the Foundation needs me, but also because it is Leo’s turn to be the heart of our home.
I rise, brushing a kiss against Leo’s cheek as I do. ‘Actually, I need to do this. You two will be fine,’ I say.
‘We sure will. Won’t we, buddy?’
‘I love you, Leo.’
He takes his eyes from Henry and looks at me, and I see the softness there – the pride and respect and warmth and the openness that I was once sure I’d lost forever. These are rough and ragged parts of our history now. We are matured by them, and we are changed by them – but we have survived them. Just as Leo is ever so slowly trying to relearn how to walk, we are learning how to walk together too, and as a family unit now. We are better for having come through the tough times, as I am starting to suspect people usually are.
‘I’m so proud of you, Molly,’ Leo says, and I flash him a wobbly smile and finally call for the elevator.
‘I’ll see you at lunchtime?’
‘We’ll be waiting right here where you left us.’
I cry as the elevator doors close behind me, and then I cry all the way to the office and I’m still crying when I walk through the doors and Tobias is waiting in the lobby. He presses a coffee into my hands. ‘Good to have you back, Molly,’ he says, and I smile at him. I’m still crying, and he doesn’t seem at all convinced as I say, ‘It’s good to be back.’
As I sit at my desk, I withdraw a photo frame from my handbag and I stand it near my monitor. It’s a photo of my future and my hope – my beautiful son – and my hero, my wonderful, brave and complex husband. And with my boys watching over me, I reach for my keyboard and I get back to work.
Letter from Kelly
Thank you so much for reading When I Lost You. I hope that you enjoyed reading Leo and Molly’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
If you enjoyed this book, I’d be so grateful if you’d take the time to write a review. I really appreciate getting feedback and your review will help other readers find my books.
Finally, if you’d like to receive an email when my next book is released, you can sign up to my mailing list here. I’ll only send emails when I have a new book to share and I won’t share your email address with anyone else.
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Kelly
P.S. You might also like my other novels, The Secret Daughter and Me Without You – read on to find out more…
@KelRimmerWrites
Kellymrimmer
www.kellyrimmer.com
Me Without You
Don’t miss Kelly’s debut novel, Me Without You.
A story of how love can break our hearts – and heal them.