Trouble is a Friend of Mine

‘Want me to drive, Hestia?’ Digby said.

‘You shut up, Filipos. Tonight, you sleep on sofa. Tomorrow, we talk. You in big trouble now.’ Then Mrs Petropoulos got a tragic look on her face. She released Henry and stroked Digby on the cheek. ‘You poor, broken little boy.’ Then they walked out with her shouting all the way to the car.

‘I can’t believe that baby slept through all that,’ Cooper said.

‘So what we were hearing was her inside voice?’ Holloway said.

Mom snatched my citation from Cooper’s hand. ‘You know, these kids are innocent until you can prove them guilty. Which I don’t think you can. Tell me, do you sit around with the rest of the George Bush Nostalgia Society perfecting intimidation tactics?’

‘Ma’am, I’m a lifelong Democrat,’ Cooper said.

‘Ma’am? Ma’am?!’ Mom said.

‘Um, Stella …’ Cooper said.

‘But you’re doing so well,’ Holloway said.

‘I want your badge number. And hers too. I’m writing my congressman,’ Mom said.

Cooper sighed and gestured for Mom to follow him to the desk.

‘I thought you said she wouldn’t care,’ Holloway said to me.

‘Yeah … this is kind of a surprise for me too.’

‘She seems pretty worked up, in fact. Which is a problem because this plan depends on her being as oblivious as you said she was,’ Holloway said.

We watched Mom argue with Cooper.

‘I have a bad feeling about this,’ Holloway said.

I did too.





ELEVEN


Mom gripped the wheel in silence on the tense ride home from the station and sent me to bed without a lecture. Part of me hoped it’d become just another thing we didn’t talk about. This was the same part of me that got hopeful when I scratched off supermarket Instant Win tickets that gave away, like, one TV for every million customers.

The silent treatment continued the next morning. After breakfast, she said, ‘This isn’t working.’

‘What isn’t?’ I said.

‘None of it is.’ Then she went to do the laundry.

The local paper reported that they’d arrested Schell the night before. As Holloway said, because we were minors, the press hadn’t contacted us. That was good because I wouldn’t have known what to say and, like Holloway had warned, we’d have to tell everyone the right story of how we got Schell’s files and we’d have to tell it the same way later in court.

That night at dinner, Mom turned off the TV. Uh-oh, trouble, I thought. But then she busted out fancy napkins and made pork chops. Mixed message. Chops were not trouble food. Especially not with fancy napkins.

‘The police called,’ she said.

I did that cartoon thing where my fork froze in midair.

‘So … turns out, my gynecologist was filming his patients,’ Mom said. ‘Apparently, I was one of the lucky ones. He didn’t care enough to do anything more than give me my Pap smear. I shouldn’t be offended, right?’

I put my fork down.

‘You expect me to believe it was a coincidence you three broke into that office? After you tried to talk to me about him earlier that night? How did you know?’ Mom asked. ‘Can we talk about what happened, Zo?’

Great. The one time she actually wanted to talk, I couldn’t say anything at all. I couldn’t keep straight all the things Digby and Holloway told me to say and not to say. I focused on cutting my chop into smaller and smaller pieces.

‘You know, when you were little, I was just glad that your dad was interested in you. He was totally different from the other dads who were just … not there for their kids. But then, it became this strange dynamic in our house with you and him …’ she said. ‘I just felt …’

Left out. She’d felt left out. I knew because I remember leaving her out. It wasn’t exactly on purpose, but I’d known Dad and I were doing it.

‘And then during the divorce, my therapist told me not to crowd you with my problems. He told me to give you space … let you mourn your own way. I’m beginning to wonder if that was a mistake.’

‘You’re beginning to wonder?’

‘Okay, yes, clearly it was a mistake. But I’m listening now.’

‘Ugh, Mom, stop.’

‘I just bailed you out of jail, Zoe. I think we’re past the small talk.’

‘That’s a pretty dramatic interpretation of what happened.’

‘Maybe this is a chance for us to make a new start.’ Then, just before it turned into a pathetic PSA-style ‘moment’ featuring hugs and promises, Mom said, ‘For now, though, I need us to talk about what we’re telling your father.’

‘Do I have to tell him anything?’

‘I can’t afford the lawyer, Zo. We’ll have to tell him,’ she said. ‘He’s probably going to think this is me sabotaging this little Prentiss plan you two have. He isn’t going to take this well.’