“Ana! Ana!” I shouted, trying to rouse her from her nightmare. “Wake up. It’s just a dream!”
She pushed at me hard, her fingernails scratching my arms. They healed quickly, but the sting lingered. Panting, she blinked her eyes open. Tears leaked slowly from the corners. Her cheeks were flushed, and her lips looked swollen and red like she’d bitten them in her sleep. Anamika trembled in my arms as I stroked her hair and shushed her.
The fact that she clung to me as if I was the only thing grounding her was a surprise. I wanted to link into her thoughts, to figure out what it was that troubled her. It seemed much worse than a simple bad dream. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wanted her to trust me. And if I forced the issue in that way or asserted myself, I sensed there would be much more to contend with than just her temper. Ana was teetering on the edge, fragile, and if I made a wrong move, she’d burst open like a dropped melon.
“What is it?” I murmured as I tried to calm her.
She stiffened and drew away from my arms, shifting back on the bed. “It is nothing,” she said, wiping her tears away with the heels of her hands.
“You don’t have to tell me, Ana,” I said, “but I’m here to listen if you need me.”
Nodding, she drew up her knees to her chest and laced her fingers around them. “Thank you.”
My arms felt empty and I found I missed her softness. Strange to think of the goddess Durga, the warrior I’d fought with, as being soft. Her heart had beaten frantically when I’d held her, almost like a captured bird in a cage. That reminded me that I still had a passenger in my pocket.
“I almost forgot,” I said, and pulled open the square of fabric to peek at the little creature. It angled its head to peer up at me. “This little thing belongs to you. Kadam sent him.”
Repositioning her long legs so she could scoot closer, she pushed her heavy hair over her shoulder and watched as I pulled the little bird out. He sat in my cupped palm and then, when she extended a fingertip, he peeped and hopped onto it. Immediately, he chirped a little tune and flew to her shoulder, where he hid himself inside her mounds of hair.
Anamika laughed. It was a carefree, delightful sound, and I realized I’d never heard her laugh before. Smiling myself, I rubbed a hand over the stubble on my cheeks and said, “Kadam told me you raised him from an egg. Apparently, we haven’t found the egg yet. He also warned me that the bird isn’t long for this world.”
Her face fell as she took the bird from her shoulder and rubbed him behind the head. He closed his eyes happily as she stroked his feathers.
I don’t know why I had to go and ruin her happy moment. It seemed like nothing I did regarding the goddess was the right thing. Sighing, I got up and splashed water in the basin. As I washed my face, I told her where I’d been all night.
She listened carefully and asked thoughtful questions. When I was finished, she said, “That must have been painful for you—leaving your brother in such a way so that he had no memory of what had passed between you.”
“It was,” I confessed. It still chafed. The hurt of leaving him there was like a fur-caught burr next to an already painful wound. Knowing that my actions, my decision, would relegate Ren to being imprisoned for so many years was something I wasn’t entirely sure I could live with. The idea that I was doing it more so that I would meet Kelsey than I was nobly doing my part to help the universe left the bitter tang of guilt in my mouth.
Anamika’s hand touched my shoulder. I hadn’t even heard her get up. My eyes were dry and tight, and my head throbbed from going so long without sleep. My skin felt ready to split apart but her touch soothed me. Without thinking, I drew her close and she allowed me to hold her. It was awkward at first. Her back was as straight as a board, but inch by inch she relaxed.
After a long moment, she patted my shoulder stiffly and asked, “Are you comforted enough yet, Kishan?”
I laughed and stepped back. “Yes. Thank you.”
The ice goddess had returned and she was ready to get back to business. I was used to this version of her. The other one, the wounded girl, was a stranger. I was curious but I knew better than to ask why she hid behind her mask.
It was more than just losing her brother and taking on the role of a goddess. She’d been that way before, back when I first met her. She’d seemed just as unapproachable then. Anamika came across as a very different girl than the one I’d seen interacting with her brother just before he left. Other than the few brief glimpses she’d given me, the goddess was much like the statues in the temples we’d visited. Cold, hard as granite, and rigid regarding her dealings with men.
We used the amulet to shift back to the alley and the scarf to disguise ourselves. I took the role of the man who’d disappeared while Anamika became Kadam. She dressed herself like a wealthy man of that time would, and within the hour, the transaction was complete. The two of us were now the proud new owners of a white tiger.
The hunters were surprised when Anamika as Kadam was willing to purchase the animal sight unseen, but we couldn’t risk Ren’s reaction to Kadam or his confusion over Kadam smelling like jasmine and roses. Ana had pulled enough coin and gemstones from the ground to appease the hunters, and they were greedy enough to take their money and run.
Next, we made arrangements to have Ren stay where he was, hiring a trustworthy young man to feed him and give him water. We even put the boy up at the nearby inn while we sought out Kadam’s friend. We stayed long enough to watch him and make sure he did a good job regarding the tiger.
It took the better part of the day to actually find Kadam’s trader friend. Then it required some convincing to get him to alter his course to go to the city where Ren was being kept. Anamika gave him the rest of her coins and gems and offered him a bagful more when he got to the inn if he would then transport Ren and sell him to a kind-hearted collector.
When the deal was made, Ana and I returned to our time. She disappeared into her room and scavenged a bagful of priceless gemstones, and within the blink of an eye, she had gone back to meet the trader at the inn and give him his final payment.
She was gone for less than thirty seconds, and when she told me that Ren was safely on his way, I immediately transformed into a tiger and fell into a deep sleep on the grass. After I woke, I found Ana sitting near the fountain cradling her little pet. He was still alive, but it was plain he wouldn’t be for long.
“I thought he’d like to be outside,” she said.
I lay down, making myself comfortable by her feet, resting my head on my paws, and kept her company. Before the hour had passed, the little bird was gone. Gently, she placed him in a golden box that a devotee had given her. His bright red plumage was soon hidden beneath the lid. Using the power of the amulet, she excavated a space in her garden and placed the box inside. She stood there for a moment, silent, and then I heard the whisper of dirt as it covered the golden box.
When she was done, she approached me and sat down on the grass, threading her hands in my fur and stroking my back. I rolled over on my side so my head was in her lap. She tugged on my ear gently and draped an arm around my neck. Instinctively, I knew she needed me, needed the tiger side of me. She relaxed with me easier when I was in my tiger form. Her scent of roses and jasmine wafted over me and I closed my eyes.