“It’s what she’s likely doing for Sunil now,” I said. “She’s a good teacher. Very unflappable with us out-of-place types.”
Ana’s beautiful face fell and she lowered her head, tears trickling down her cheeks. Her emotions spiked again and I stopped my play-by-play of Nilima memories. Almost without thinking, I took a step closer and touched the tips of my fingers to her tearstained face. Our connection was stronger when we touched.
I tried to access her mind again. To understand what she was going through. There was a darkness in her thoughts, a hollowed-out place. Cocking my head, I pushed, then blinked dazedly when Ana pressed her hand on top of mine.
“Don’t,” she said, looking straight into my eyes. “It’s too far.”
Her dark lashes were wet with tears. “What are you hiding?” I asked.
“It is personal, Kishan. Do not ask me to show you those memories.”
“Does it have to do with that man? The one you tried to face? What did he do, Ana?”
I could guess, but I hoped against hope that I was wrong. Then I paused and considered. It was clear to me that whatever sadness she was hiding had been triggered by what she’d seen between Sunil and Nilima. I wanted answers. I wanted to help. But I also wanted her to trust me. When I’d needed space, drawn a line, she’d backed off. Offering her the same courtesy was the least I could do. “Very well,” I said. “But tell me this. Do you not want Sunil to find happiness?”
She sighed and stepped away from me. Ana turned her back, severing our mental connection and closing herself off. “Of course I want him to be happy,” she said softly.
Stars burned icily overhead, piercing the velvet night and touching Ana’s bare shoulders where my coat had slipped down. It hung bunched around her arms. She shivered delicately and I lifted the coat over her shoulders again, securing it for her. Anamika pulled the edges together and sat down on the edge of the splashing fountain, heedless that the water left wet spots on her silk dress. The insects who chirped in her garden sounded melancholy, almost as if they echoed the mood of their goddess.
“Why were you there?” she questioned. “You asked if I wanted Sunil to be happy. I would ask the same of you regarding Kelsey and Ren.”
I didn’t answer at first and instead sat at her feet. Touching the hem of her dress, I felt the magic of the Divine Scarf humming along my fingers. “Please change me back to my normal clothing and appearance,” I said.
When the whispering of threads stopped, I stretched my back, twisted my neck from side to side, and ran a hand through my hair. It was nice to feel like myself again.
She pressed, “Did you wish to harm yourself by seeing them? If you were of a mind to cause yourself pain, I have many weapons at my disposal.”
I glanced up at her quickly and caught a small smile. She was teasing me, but at the same time, she was offering me something I needed. I wondered if it was our connection that gave her the idea or if she was simply intuitive. Grunting, I said, “Perhaps training together might be a good distraction. We’ll begin tomorrow if you are agreeable.” Drilling with her would serve as a way to get some of my restless energy out. I hadn’t sparred with anyone since Kelsey, and despite her abilities, Kelsey had been more of a novice level. Too far behind me to offer any sort of challenge.
The difficulty with Kelsey lay with keeping my mind and my hands focused on the task and not on kissing her or pulling her close. There were no surprises when it came to Kells because I’d taught her everything she knew. I found I was curious to test out Ana’s strengths and weaknesses and, in fact, looked forward to matching our abilities.
Ana nodded. “I would appreciate your aid in keeping my fighting skills sharp. But you are avoiding my question.”
Instead, I asked her one of my own. “Did you ever love him? Ren, I mean?”
“I know very little of love,” she said. “I was comfortable with Ren. He was…courtly with me.”
“Courtly?”
“Yes. He did not press a suit as other men. I have told you this before.”
“Ah, yes, you liked that he didn’t fawn over you or demand a physical relationship.” I stiffened as a thought came to mind. “Other men have pursued you then?” I asked. It shouldn’t have shocked me. Anamika was very beautiful. It was only natural that men had desired her. I’d have to be more vigilant in the future regarding such a thing. Maybe men had even been harassing her while I’d been languishing in the jungle for all those months. I’d have to do better for her.
“Some have tried. None of them were successful,” she said.
“Good.” I let out a sigh and she lifted sharp eyes to mine. I pulled up my knees and wrapped my arms around them. “Have you never been in love, then, Ana?”
“No. I do not see a purpose in it.”
“Did your parents love one another?”
“My parents cared for one another,” she admitted. “Their union was arranged, and they never seemed to agree on anything, but over time there was respect and affection between them.”
“I see. The reason I ask,” I said, “is that my parents were very happy together. It is something I desire for myself.”
“And you wanted this with Kelsey.”
“Yes.”
“Ren also desires this relationship?” she asked.
“He does.”
“So you were watching them to determine if their feelings for one another were genuine? You think it might have been a mistake to remain here as a tiger and let Ren leave.”
My mouth fell open. She’d hit the target dead on. “In a manner of speaking,” I said.
Ana bit her bottom lip as she thought. She wasn’t attempting to catch my attention by doing so, and yet I found myself caught all the same. “Very well,” she finally said. “Before we continue to pursue Kadam’s list, we will determine if the ones we love are happy in their relationships.”
“And if we decide they are not?”
“Then we will discuss our next course of action.” She turned to look straight at me. “But we will do this together, Kishan.”
“Agreed,” I said. If she was going to follow me around anyway, it would be better if I guided her in her future clothing choices.
We were about to discuss what we would do first when a soldier appeared at the garden entrance.
“Goddess!” The man rushed toward us and knelt at her feet. “I am so pleased to have found you at last.”
“What is it, Bhavin?”
“A runner has come with a dire need. There is a village at the base of a mountain near the meeting of the two rivers. They are under siege by a warlord and ask your help.”
“Where is this man?” I asked.
“He…he died. He was gravely injured, Goddess.”
“Damon?” she said, addressing me formally. “There is work to do. I suppose the time for training is past. Instead, we will hone our skills by challenging our enemies.”
Nodding, I placed the amulet around her neck, pulling her hair through carefully so it wouldn’t snag, and then transformed into a black tiger. Bhavin was a trusted guard and had been with Anamika since before the battle with Lokesh. He knew us as ourselves as well as our personas of the goddess and her tiger. As I watched, Anamika transformed into the goddess Durga with all eight arms. Her battle armor appeared at the same time mine did. Golden plates covered my legs and chest and a saddle materialized on my back.
The weapons of Durga burst from the open doorway, a dangerous mass of sharpened projectiles, and flew to her outstretched arms. She caught them easily, snatching each one out of the air though they arrived simultaneously, most of them blades up. The Golden Fruit soared toward us as well, and she tucked it into a leather bag on the side of my saddle. Next came the kamandal. She tied it around my neck. Anamika secured some of the weapons and kept others clutched in one of her many hands.