The ice princess with squared shoulders and a defiant gleam in her eyes was gone. In her place was a woman with emotions stretched so tightly across her face I wondered if they would burst out of her if I touched her cheek. I’d only seen Anamika cry once and that was when her brother left. It was the tremble in her berry-red lower lip that undid me.
I closed the door behind me with a thud. Thick, dark shadows trailed me as I headed down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, I couldn’t tolerate the presence of the other men, though they’d gone quiet, most of them staring with unfocused eyes into their drinks. I headed outside. The night was heavy and warm, the rain irritating as it slicked through my hair and trickled down the neck of my shirt. I paced back and forth, my muscles taut and screaming for a fight.
The earthy scent of the ground was familiar and should have soothed me, but I’d grown spoiled living on the sweet grasses of the home of the goddess. The smell of roses and jasmine there tickled my nose as I slept, and my dreams were almost always pleasant. Even when I dreamed of Kelsey, they were happy, contented dreams, not the nightmares I’d had before.
Kadam wanted me to accept the role of Durga’s tiger, to consider the curse a gift. But to me it had been a punishment, one well deserved for allowing Lokesh to kill Yesubai. When Kelsey left, the tiger felt like a shackle.
Hiding my scent and becoming invisible, I headed to the building where they were keeping Ren. I opened the door and he lifted his head. All he could smell was the wet from the rain and the hundreds of bodies and animals nearby, yet he tilted his head back and forth, and I knew the moment when he noticed my wet footprints.
For a time, I stood there, quietly watching him, and then I made a decision and allowed my body to become visible. He jerked in the cage that was much too small for him to move around comfortably. Ren growled softly, his ears laid back against his head.
My gold eyes locked onto his blue ones. There was so much I wanted to say to him. So much he needed to hear, but I didn’t know where to begin, and this Ren wouldn’t understand. Suddenly, I had great empathy for what Kadam was going through. Inhaling deeply, I pursed my lips and let out a slow breath and then stepped forward, unlocking his cage.
Almost carefully, he stepped out onto the muddy ground, and a moment later, my brother was standing in front of me. He was barefoot, in his typical white clothing. His eyes piercing me like needles. Ren spoke first as I stood there mutely wondering where to begin.
“Who are you?” he said.
My brow lowered. “Your brother,” I replied.
He walked around me in a wide circle, sniffing the air like a suspicious dog. “You don’t smell like my brother,” he said. “And I trust my nose more than my eyes.”
I laughed then but it was a bit maniacal—a straightjacket laugh, Kelsey would have called it. “Despite everything, I’ve missed you, Ren.”
His mouth fell open but he quickly masked his reaction. “So…brother…you’ve come to rescue me then?”
“Not…not exactly,” I said as I scraped a hand over my bristly jaw. “I was just hoping to talk.”
“To talk?”
“Yes. This is going to take a while so you might want to switch back. I know you don’t have a lot of time.”
Ren frowned. “Neither do you.”
“Yes. Well, about that…” I found a cleanish spot on the ground and sat, resting my back against the wall. The rain was heavy enough to mask my voice should anyone pass by, and both of us could see well enough in the light to make out one another. Almost reluctantly, Ren changed back into tiger form and lay down. Not too close. And he took up the space between me and the door just in case he wanted to leave. That didn’t bother me at all.
Taking a deep breath, I began.
For hours I poured out my story to him. I told him everything—Kelsey, the curse, Durga, Lokesh, Kadam, our parents, his becoming mortal, even his upcoming wedding. His tiger eyes were riveted on me the whole time. If it weren’t for the twitching of his tail, I might have thought he was a statue. By the time I was done, the storm was over. The sun would rise within the hour.
I brought up a knee and rested an elbow on it, sinking my head into my hand. “To burden you with all of this is selfish, I know. It’s just…I don’t know what to do.”
Ren transformed without me even being aware of it. He sat across from me and rubbed his hands slowly, his eyes trained on them as he formed his thoughts into words. Finally, he said, “You’ve always been the stronger one.”
My hand fell away from my face. I gaped at him incredulously. “What are you talking about? Have you even been listening?”
“Of course I have. The story you tell…it’s…well, fantastic. It gives me hope. You give me hope.”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
“No. It’s just…”
“What?” I asked.
His blue eyes darted up. “Do you know why the future me sought you out in the jungle?”
“Yeah. You wanted me to help you break the curse.”
“Yes. Of course. But there must have been a part of me that was scared to do it without you.”
“That doesn’t sound right.”
“It is. You’ve always been the brave one, Kishan.”
I shook my head. “You’re the leader, Ren. Not me.”
“You’re wrong. Yes…yes…I was the diplomat. The one who spun pretty words to charm pompous, overstuffed rich men, but you were the warrior. For you Yesubai was a long time ago, but for me it was recent. I understood why she loved you. She looked to you as I did. You were always comfortable in your own skin. Mother’s favorite. Kadam’s favorite.”
“None of that matters anymore. Besides, you are brave. You fought alongside me, defeated Lokesh, saved the day countless times. I’d never seen you so focused in battle.”
He lowered his head. “I must have loved her then. Will love her, I mean.”
I grunted. “You did. You do.”
“But so do you.”
“Yes.”
After a tense moment, he asked, “Will you do it?”
I knew what he was asking. “Cause the curse?”
He nodded.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then…” Ren got up and dusted his hands on his white pants, smearing them with dirt. “I suppose you better find out.” He turned and walked to the door, staring out into the freshly washed clean sky. Ren inhaled deeply and said, “If it helps, I know whatever decision you make will be the right one.”
“How can you be so certain?”
He looked at me over his shoulder and offered me a brilliant white smile. “Because you are Sohan Kishan Rajaram.” Ren headed back to his cage and ran a hand down a bar. “There is no reason that you have to make the final decision tonight. It sounds like there are many more uncomfortable things in my future than just sitting in a cage.”
I stood up, took hold of his shoulder, and turned him around. “Are you saying you want me to sell you tomorrow? Arrange for your captivity from which you will find no respite for three hundred and fifty years? Wipe your memory so that no trace of our conversation lingers in your mind to give you comfort?”
Ren shook his head and grabbed hold of my arm in a familiar grip. “I am saying that I am yours in life, brother, and yours in death. I trust you to figure out the niggling details.”
The confidence he had in me was unflappable. The back of my eyes stung with unshed tears. That he was willing to give himself over like this, even knowing that his future entailed torture and beatings and more sacrifices than a man should be asked to make, made me respect him all the more.
I tugged on his shoulder and pulled him close, wrapping my arms around him. My body shook as I sobbed. When I left, Ren was in his tiger form, locked in a cage. I’d taken his memory of our conversation and his ability to shift into human form, leaving him only with the dream of a brown-haired girl who would love him someday.
With heavy steps, I climbed the stairs to our shared room and found Anamika asleep on the bed, but her body was soaked with sweat as she thrashed back and forth. Tears leaked down her cheeks and she kicked violently at the thin sheet.
“No,” she cried softly. “No, please!”
I took hold of her shoulders to shake her awake and she screamed.
Chapter 8
Crashing the Party